A Series of Unfortunate Events Complete Collection: Books 1-13


Book Description

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched and will most likely fill you with deep despair. From The Bad Beginning to The End, this comprehensive collection with unfortunate bonus material that may or may not include trivia questions, character profiles, and several very sad sentences is the only choice for people who simply cannot get enough of a bad thing!




A Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 4-6


Book Description

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES A Warning from the Publisher: Imagine you are wearing a bandage that needs to be removed. Are you the sort of person who tears the bandage right off, causing an enormous amount of pain in a short instance? Or do you prefer to spread your pain out over a longer period of time, by slowly unpeeling the bandage from your injury? If you are the first type of person, then this three-book electronic collection might be for you. All of the misery and woe available in three Lemony Snicket volumes—The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevator—have been joined into one compactly miserable package, so readers foolish enough to read about the Baudelaire orphans can be unnerved in a slightly more economical fashion. If you are the second type of person, then volumes four through six in A Series of Unfortunate Events might be for you. Even if you unwisely choose to read them at a more leisurely pace, you will encounter such atrocities as poorly paid employees, a hypnotist, an evil scheme, a gym teacher, dripping fungus, another evil scheme, a fake accent, three mysterious consonants, a red herring, and at least one more evil scheme. Of course, most people would prefer not to be injured at all. We salute these sensible people, who will doubtless not purchase any books by Lemony Snicket, no matter how conveniently bundled.




A Series of Unfortunate Events Collection: Books 7-9


Book Description

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES A Warning from the Publisher: Would you rather sprain your ankle, bruise your hip, and lose a toe to frostbite on the same day? Or would you rather have these accidents happen on three different days? This electronic collection of volumes seven through nine in A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket is the e-equivalent of having three ghastly accidents right in a row. Contained here are such unpleasantries as kidnapping, disguise, murder, paperwork, another disguise, heart-shaped balloons, false allegations, stiletto heels, a shattered crystal ball, a cryptic map, an irritating song, and quite a few more disguises, all bundled together into a continuous barrage of horror and dismay. The more sensible approach would be to read The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, and The Carnivorous Carnival months or even years apart from one another, so you have time to recuperate from the misery each volume offers—or better yet, to turn your eyes away from Mr. Snicket's work and find an electronic experience that would cause you no distress whatsoever.




A Series of Unfortunate Events 01. The Bad Beginning


Book Description

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on . . . In The Bad Beginning the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. Then again, why trouble yourself with the unfortunate resolutions? With 5 million copies sold in the UK alone, one might consider Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events to make him one of the most successful children’s authors of the past decade. We, however, consider these miserable so-called adventure stories and the Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey that accompanied the books for children as nothing more than a dreadful mistake.




The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations


Book Description

This mysterious illustrated tie-in to Netflix's award-winning A Series of Unfortunate Events -- featuring an introduction by Count Olaf's legal representative, Neil Patrick Harris -- shares insider secrets about the Baudelaire family and the making of the show. In every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind... In this collector's companion you will discover never-before-seen photographs, never-before-told stories, and never-before, revealed secrets spanning all three seasons of the hilariously twisted, critically acclaimed hit series. You will encounter original concept art, annotated script excerpts, and interviews with the creative team and all-star cast, as well as glossaries, recipes, lyric sheets, hidden Easter eggs, shocking backstories, and suspicious pages from the titular tome, unredacted, and revealed here for the first time. Featuring interviews with: Tony Hale Daniel Handler Aasif Mandvi Sara Rue Barry Sonnenfeld Patrick Warburton Bo Welch Alfre Woodard and more... Perhaps you are wondering how a noble person such as yourself might become a member of a secret organization. Like so many things in life, it starts by picking up the right book. So go ahead, read at your own risk.




Bedtime for Bear


Book Description

Wintertime is here, and that means it is bedtime for Bear. But Bear's friends don't think so. They want Bear to come and play outside in the snow. Bear can hear his friends calling. He hears them laughing and playing. Bear can't sleep. But it's bedtime! What is a bear to do?




The Lump of Coal


Book Description

Forget Frosty the Snowman or Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The next great holiday hero is a small, flammable chunk of barbecue fodder. He's impeccably dressed, he's terribly grumpy, and he's looking for a holiday miracle. It's unmistakably Snicket - here's the opening line: This holiday season is a time for stoytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles.




A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Loathsome Library (Books 1-6)


Book Description

Readers incapable of running fast enough to escape Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events can breathe a sigh of relief now that the first six books of the series have been securely contained in a shrink-wrapped box disguised with exquisite Brett Helquist slip case art that will prevent this collection of woe from falling into the wrong hands.




The Dilemma Deepens


Book Description




A Series of Unfortunate Events #4: The Miserable Mill


Book Description

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket