Around the World in Farty Haze


Book Description

Nineteen-year-old Simon Fawkes suffers from a spasmodic wind problem as he hauls his fat bulk through this hilarious account of a journey through the Americas. From seedy San Francisco sex clubs through stomach upsets in Mexico, uncontrollable flatulence at Machu Picchu, becoming stranded in a snowdrift in Bolivia to being sick at a foam party, the tale is told in a way that makes the tears stream. His humour operates at many levels; from the subtle to the toilet. But this is much more than just a tale about farting. Skilfully crafted, we gain a witty insight into the places and characters the author encounters in this illuminating travel story. 'A bizarre cross between Bill Bryson and Viz' Fairlight and Richmond Times 'Michael Palin with wind...a mix of fantastic humour and fascinating insights' Penny Trait, Yorkshire Evening Telegraph 'Superb...a breath of fresh air' R Spoker, New Lad Magazine







Fart Dictionary


Book Description

The one and only Fart Dictionary is a hilarious, illustrated collection of fart definitions for every occasion, covering a wide range of topics. Whether it's politics, poetry, karaoke, Mardi Gras, Food Network, Jane Austen, love, war, ghosts, family, sports, fashion, Shakespeare, or vegetarians, there's a fart in this book for everyone. Examples include "apple fart: a fart that keeps the doctor away," "boomerang fart: a fart which has somehow returned to haunt you," and many, many more. Featuring whimsical artwork and all wrapped up in a classy little package, Fart Dictionary is a perfect gag gift and certain to be a hit with anyone who has ever laughed at the sound of breaking wind.




Follow Your Fart


Book Description

A book of poems about life and love, pain and humour. This is David's 4th book of poems for adults(and children)




Fart for Freedom


Book Description

Two demented psychotic groups are engaged in a battle for moral, if not hygienic superiority. Fart For Freedom, with their freedom farters like the Silent But Deadly assassins and Curry Men explosive experts, are steadfastly led by their leaders; the Inner Rectum. Their sole purpose in life is to make the world a place where anyone can fart anytime and anywhere, without fear of retribution. Opposing them is STOP; the Society To Oppress Perverts- a group that brings a whole new meaning to the term anal retentiveness. Their puritanical view of the world sets them against the freedom farters at every turn. In the STOP world; clean equals serene. Unwillingly thrown into this turbulent situation is Algenon Plugg; a mild-mannered man with a traumatic past. After memories of his childhood catch up with him at a most inopportune time, he is hurled into a maelstrom that threatens death and destruction for anyone who crosses his path. If Fart For Freedom is to survive, they must eliminate the opposition before they themselves are eliminated.




The Absolutely Worst Fart Book


Book Description




Overlanding the Silk Road


Book Description

This is the story of a journey following the Silk Road, from Europe to China, beginning in London. The real journey starts in Istanbul, winding through the history and countryside of Turkey and over the border into Iran, to experience its rich history and architecture. There are bizarre experiences of the beautiful, modern but empty city of Ashgabat, and much more. A trip to the disappearing Aral Sea, is followed by immense architecture and history, across a land fought over by Alexander the Great, Tamarind and Genghis Khan. There is the enchanting mountains of Kyrgyzstan, with its beautiful mountains and lakes, known as Asia's little Switzerland. The scene slowly changes as the Muslim influence gives way to Han Chinese dominance, the Great Wall of China and the end of the Silk Road.




It Takes Two


Book Description

He’s the perfect assassin. He’s never failed. It doesn’t matter what the resistance is; he cuts through it like Kerry Pure Irish butter. Some are saying he’s enhanced; he’s gotta be. Android maybe. Nano-enhanced maybe. Genetically altered possibly. But Amy Farr, the trained assassin sent after him, and her partner, Trevor Hunter, former Navy SEAL, fear something far worse. They fear he isn’t enhanced at all. So, either he’s some super-powered Zen monk China flushed out of a monastery in Tibet when they should have had the good sense to leave those poor people alone. Or, he’s an extraterrestrial. Those are about the only two options left. It doesn’t help that Agent X has a penchant for taking out the most politically corrupt, highest-ranking string pullers on the planet; people whose every decision affects billions of lives for the worse. He gives them a choice: confess your crimes on tape, or eat the bullet. That creates a moral dilemma for Amy and Trent. They see themselves as the avengers. And he’s definitely making them look like slackers on the subject of holding the really bad and entitled accountable to the really needy and disenfranchised. But that’s what romantic relationships are for, to drive each other absolutely crazy second-guessing their every decision, in between all the smooching and ripped-through Spandex. As Agent X gets one deep state operative to confess after another, their shocking testimonials are broadcasted into another timeline as part of the experiment. Does the truth set us free, or is too much too soon too detrimental, if people are jumping out of windows out of the sense of horror? Tired of an era of endless deep state overreach, of false flag events and psyops run against the many peoples of the world, Amy and Trevor are eager to prop up The Truth Shall Set You Free Timeline with the right strategic moves. But which timeline truly serves the greater good? NOTE: THE 2ND INSTALLMENT OF THE IT TAKES TWO FRANCHISE, "DUELING TIMELINES", IS NOT A SEQUEL TO "MIND BENDER." I MAY YET WRITE SUCH A SEQUEL, BUT THIS IS NOT IT. IT IS AN ENTIRELY UNRELATED ADVENTURE. THE BOOKS, THEREFORE, CAN BE READ INDEPENDENTLY, AND IN ANY ORDER.




Standard Deviations


Book Description

“I was twenty-three and I had set off for Asia to become a writer, intrigued by lurid tales of booms, busts, drugs, sex, violence, magic. There was a wicked sorcery in Asia, in the economic profligacy of the early nineties, in the way financiers and businessmen took a rapidly wiring and developing continent and looted billions, like a titanic parlor trick converting all that wealth into abandoned office complexes and half-completed shopping malls. . . . I wanted it all—the money, the sex, the drugs. And to this day I believe that if I am honest with myself, despite all I have learned the hard way over the past decade, I would still want it all again, the fucking and the getting loaded and the scheming to get enough money to pay for that life.” In the late 1980s, not long out of college, Karl Taro Greenfeld found himself stranded in New York, a failed writer before his career had even begun. His Jewish-American father angrily cut off support; his Japanese mother suggested he go to Japan to teach English. He did, accepting a job with no more promise than he’d had before. But he stayed in Asia for the next several years, working his way through a series of journalistic posts, watching a culture erupt before his eyes and facing his own demons. Through a series of vividly imagistic stories that range from the rigidly journalistic to the deeply intimate, Standard Deviations recounts Greenfeld’s experiences—both professional and personal—during Asia’s wild ride at the end of the twentieth century. Whether drinking Japanese cough syrup to get high with other Western expatriates, visiting a free-sex ashram in Bombay, or watching a former high school pal self-destruct as an equity analyst in Jakarta, Greenfeld evokes the spirit of a continent in flux at an explosive “bubble” economy’s end—and a man confronting his own identity and aspirations. Raunchy, insightful, eloquent and moving, Standard Deviations is an uncompromising work of cultural observation and self-exploration.