Damn You Autocorrect! 2


Book Description

It's back. And it's more awkward than ever. Ever been screwed over by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. Damn You, Autocorrect! 2 brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from the hit website, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic autocorrect fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from Damnyouautocorrect.com. READ THIS BOOK BEFORE YOU HIT SEND.




Dear Asshole


Book Description

Dear Asshole includes 101 letters to tell off all the assholes you encounter on a daily basis, each letter conveniently perforated so you can tear it out and give it to the desired offender. The world is full of assholes -- but now you can fight back! Ever wish you could leave a nasty note for that jerk meter maid who ticketed you, or the idiot who didn't clean up after his dog, or your asshole psychotic ex? Now you can! Whether it's the asshole landlord, the asshole cheapskate, the asshole backseat driver, or the constantly cheery asshole, you should never leave home without this useful book ever again! Letters include: Dear Asshole Who Stole My Parking Space Dear Asshole Who Doesn't Know How to Use Self-Checkout Dear Contagious Asshole Dear Constantly Broke Asshole Dear Online Dating Asshole Who Lied About Their Looks Dear Asshole Boss Dear Fanatically Religious Asshole at My Door And more!




Texts From Last Night


Book Description

In the tradition of The Truth About Chuck Norris, PostSecret, and I Can Has Cheezburger?, Texts from Last Night celebrates the funniest and most outrageous text messages from the instantly popular website There are few forms of communication that are more entertaining, appalling, and laugh-out-loud hilarious than the text message--especially when it's received in the wee hours of the morning from a friend who has had one too many shots of tequila. Texts from Last Night is a celebration of the best, worst, and weirdest text messages that have ever been sent, such as: •Before i could say "i'm not the kind of girl," i was •I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti •The ticket read "found nude in a tree" Texts from Last Night is chock full of LOL and WTF moments and will make any thumb-typer :) in recognition. Read Ben Bator and Lauren Leto's post on the Penguin Blog.




When Parents Text


Book Description

Complies some web entries with new, unpublished material and organized the entries into categories, including birthdays, entertainment, and parental wisdom.




Hyperbole and a Half


Book Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!




Ready Player Two


Book Description

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The thrilling sequel to the beloved worldwide bestseller Ready Player One, the near-future adventure that inspired the blockbuster Steven Spielberg film. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE WASHINGTON POST • “The game is on again. . . . A great mix of exciting fantasy and threatening fact.”—The Wall Street Journal AN UNEXPECTED QUEST. TWO WORLDS AT STAKE. ARE YOU READY? Days after winning OASIS founder James Halliday’s contest, Wade Watts makes a discovery that changes everything. Hidden within Halliday’s vaults, waiting for his heir to find, lies a technological advancement that will once again change the world and make the OASIS a thousand times more wondrous—and addictive—than even Wade dreamed possible. With it comes a new riddle, and a new quest—a last Easter egg from Halliday, hinting at a mysterious prize. And an unexpected, impossibly powerful, and dangerous new rival awaits, one who’ll kill millions to get what he wants. Wade’s life and the future of the OASIS are again at stake, but this time the fate of humanity also hangs in the balance. Lovingly nostalgic and wildly original as only Ernest Cline could conceive it, Ready Player Two takes us on another imaginative, fun, action-packed adventure through his beloved virtual universe, and jolts us thrillingly into the future once again.




Ink in the Blood


Book Description

Two friends who use tattoo magic to send divine messages must rely on each other to survive when they discover the fake deity they serve is very real--and very angry. This dark and twisty YA is perfect for fans of Leigh Bardugo and Kendare Blake.




Between Two Fires


Book Description

"Buehlman...slips effortlessly into a different kind of literary sensibility, one that doesn't scrimp on earthy humor and lyrical writing in the face of unspeakable horrors."* The year is 1348. Thomas, a disgraced knight, has found an orphan of the Black Death in a Norman village. An almost unnerving picture of innocence, she tells Thomas that the plague is only part of a larger cataclysm--that the fallen angels under Lucifer are rising in a second war on Heaven. But is it delirium or is it faith? She believes she has seen the angels of God. She believes the dead speak to her in dreams. And now she has convinced the faithless Thomas to shepherd her across an apocalyptic landscape to Avignon. There, she tells Thomas, she will fulfill her mission. There her true nature will be revealed. And there Thomas will confront an evil wrestling for the throne of Heaven, and which has poisoned his own soul. *Kirkus Reviews




Advice to Writers


Book Description

In Advice to Writers, Jon Winokur, author of the bestselling The Portable Curmudgeon, gathers the counsel of more than four hundred celebrated authors in a treasury on the world of writing. Here are literary lions on everything from the passive voice to promotion and publicity: James Baldwin on the practiced illusion of effortless prose, Isaac Asimov on the despotic tendencies of editors, John Cheever on the perils of drink, Ivan Turgenev on matrimony and the Muse. Here, too, are the secrets behind the sleight-of-hand practiced by artists from Aristotle to Rita Mae Brown. Sagacious, inspiring, and entertaining, Advice to Writers is an essential volume for the writer in every reader.




Between the Lines


Book Description

Told in their separate voices, sixteen-year-old Prince Oliver, who wants to break free of his fairy-tale existence, and fifteen-year-old Delilah, a loner obsessed with Prince Oliver and the book in which he exists, work together to seek his freedom.




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