Fart Quest: The Dragon's Dookie


Book Description

“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Another fart-tastic installment in the middle-grade adventure series by #1 New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell. The Great and Powerful Kevin has a new quest for our heroes... seek out another disgusting ingredient for his mysterious project. High in the Frostflung Mountains lies the lair of a fearsome dragon named Glacierbane. Pan, Moxie, Fart and TickTock must venture there and fish a dragon-digested object from deep within a pile of dragon doo. But Pan isn’t having it. She’s not sure why, but she doesn’t trust Kevin. But when she learns of a kidnapped prince that needs rescuing from Glacierbane, suddenly this quest seems a whole lot more heroic. Our young heroes will face their toughest challenges yet as they team up with a valiant knight, brave the air-islands of Frostflung, fight yetis and snow goblins, solve puzzles and riddles, face a dragon, and seek the poo they need.




Fart Quest: The Troll's Toe Cheese


Book Description

“If you love fantasy, funny humor, flatulence, and friends, then Aaron Reynolds has written the perfect book for you!” —DAN SANTAT, author of The Aquanut, Sidekicks, and The Adventures of Beekle Fart Quest: The Troll's Toe Cheese is the fourth book in a hilarious Dungeons & Dragons inspired series by New York Times bestselling author Aaron Reynolds. They've destroyed an evil creature with stink gas, collected barf from a truly hideous monster, and dug through a dragon's dookie for magical treasure. Now, Fart, Pan, Moxie, and TickTock are facing their scariest challenge yet—an angry mom! The Great and Powerful Kevin has promised Pan, who lost her mother when she was a baby, that she could see her mom one last time. But instead, shes sees a distorted spirit of her mother, transformed into an evil creature bent on revenge against those who caused her death. Meanwhile, some new information comes to light, and Fart and friends head out on a rescue mission. Deep within the goblin caves, they search for evidence of their long lost masters, facing goblins, fire rats, floor fiends, and a troll with some seriously disgusting toenails along the way. In this epic addition to the Fart Quest series, our adventurers discover that a true hero is not measured in the sum of their mistakes—but in the difference they make in spite of them.




Fart Book


Book Description




Li'l Dragon Tales


Book Description

The Grand Dragon Masters are the keepers and guards of a large red diamond in the shape of a heart. Known as the Heart of Fire, the red diamond sits atop a throne in a temple surrounded by stone replicas of Dragon Masters from since the beginning of time. The little dragons are forbidden at a very young age from going to the Temple. A real danger of encountering and being captured by evil Dragon Slayers always trying to steal the invaluable Heart of Fire exists. When Max, Gus, and Thor ignore their parents' instructions to stay away from the Temple, they encounter Beaudolf and Tristan, Dragon Slayers who are on a quest to avenge their father's death. There are lessons learned by everyone about the consequences of the choices they make.




Narwhal I'm Around


Book Description

This wet, wild, and hilariously illustrated story from a New York Times bestselling author takes readers on a wacky adventure that spirals out of control as soon as our pet hero discovers a narwhal hanging out in his bedroom. Rex Dexter is cursed . . . with brains . . . and daring . . . and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders. After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a two thousand pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it. Fishy business is at hand. And as if that's not bad enough, Rex's mom has a stressful new job. His new teacher may be part of a Russian hit squad. His best friend Darvish is distracted by a role-playing game. And, horror of horrors, Rex may accidentally have a girlfriend. Rex Dexter is neck-deep in dead pet problems. And he's determined to solve them. Or let his best friend Darvish die trying.




The Land of Neverendings


Book Description

A beautiful and heartbreaking novel from an award-winning author about a girl who gets swept up into an adventure involving forgotten toys, perfect for fans of Lauren Wolk and Kelly Barnhill. "A delicate, funny, poignant exploration of grief, love and memory that has the welcoming warmth of an instant classic."--The Guardian Emily and her sister, Holly, were as close as sisters could be. They did everything together. But Holly died three months ago, and Emily's world is shattered. Amid a sea of changes--her best friend is acting distant, she's just started at a new school, and she's been cast as the lead in the school play--Emily is surprised to find that she misses Holly's teddy bear, Bluey, almost as much as she misses Holly herself. But Bluey was buried with Holly, and there's no getting either of them back. Then one night, Emily dreams of talking toys, who tell her they have come from the toy world with a message from Bluey. Emily is convinced she can be reunited with him. But there's something strange about the barrier between the toy world and the real world. Not just strange, but dangerous--magic is spilling out, and it's wreaking havoc on Emily's world. Now she must decide whether finding Bluey is worth risking the lives of those she loves. "Deeply moving and highly imaginative."--The Daily Mail "Written from the heart and can't fail to make yours sing."--The Times, Book of the Week "One of the wittiest books of the year."--The Sunday Times "Suffused with longing and dappled with humor, this novel explores the limits of grief and the lasting power of storytelling."--Wall Street Journal "From whimsical comicality to impending danger...a standalone title, in which the topic of loss is dealt with deftly. For readers willing to let their imagination soar, this fantasy may be just what they are looking for, especially if they have experienced grief."--School Library Journal "An imaginative, magical story ideal for kids experiencing loss."--Kirkus Reviews "Wise in the ways of loss as Emily discovers that the route through grief lies not in escaping to Smockeroon but in engaging with the hard world, in the passage of time, in friendship, memory, and, above all, storytelling."--The Horn Book, Starred Review "A refreshing take on the classic theme of toys coming to life, with the residents of Smockeroon amusingly sassy and self involved. There is still plenty of warmth...while the magical elements cushion the heftier themes...A pleasing blend of sentiment and humor."--Bulletin "Saunders combines the hard reality of loss and the soft comfort of fantasy surprisingly well, offering unexpected humor in Smockeroon as well as sharp insights into human characters."--Booklist




Uber Poops


Book Description

One beetle needs to win his school back from gangsters. The other is trying to get rich on baby poop. Will these dung beetles help one another profit or perish? Dookie is a typical hungry young dung beetle who spends his day ordering poop from delivery services and attending stool school where he is the star student and the teacher's pet bug. So when Dookie forgets to lock the gates, Al Capoop and his gang transform the school into a poop casino, and Dookie is to blame. Now all the bugs are hating on the little beetle. Brownie is about to make a fortune on baby poop--dung beetle gold. He's planning to raid a hotel's diaper disposal bin, but he needs a partner for the dangerous mission. Then his little cousin walks through the door. Brownie agrees to rid the school of the gangsters if Dookie joins him on the diaper mission. As they pair up, the two poop eaters will have to face up to bandits, gangsters, and humans to accomplish the difficult operations. Will they get rich or squished? Uber Poops is the second book in a series of hilarious children's picture books. If you like laugh-out-loud humor, fast-paced storylines, and endless poop puns, then you'll love Damiano Bernardo's Uber Poops, the second book in the Dookie the Dung Beetle's Stinky Adventure series. Buy Uber Poops and laugh your way through story time today!




The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse


Book Description

In this third book of the acclaimed series, Percy and his friends are escorting two new half-bloods safely to camp when they are intercepted by a manticore and learn that the goddess Artemis has been kidnapped.




Let's Pretend This Never Happened


Book Description

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside




The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True


Book Description

TERRY PRATCHETT meets THE WITCHER in this pee-your-pants-laughing fantasy novel. Sure, you think you know the story of the fearsome red dragon, Dragonia. How it terrorized the village of Skendrick until a brave band of heroes answered the noble villagers' call for aid. How nothing could stop those courageous souls from facing down the beast. How they emerged victorious and laden with treasure. But, even in a world filled with epic adventures and tales of derring-do, where dragons, goblins, and unlicensed prestidigitators run amok, legendary heroes don't always know what they're doing. Sometimes, they're clueless. Sometimes, beleaguered townsfolk are more hapless than helpless. And orcs? They're not always assholes, and sometimes, they don't actually want to eat your children. Heloise the Bard, Erithea's most renowned storyteller, is here to set the record straight. See, it turns out adventuring isn't easy, and true heroism is as rare as an articulate villager. Having spent decades propagating this particular myth (which, incidentally, she wrote), she's finally able to tell the real story...for which she just so happened to have a front-row seat. Welcome to Erithea. I hope you brought a change of undergarments; things are going to get messy. hr “Evoking the dry humor of Terry Pratchett and absurdist trope subversions of Monty Python...Gibson’s story is clever, twisty, and bursting with sidesplittingly funny one-liners. Fantasy fans are guaranteed a laugh.” – Publisher’s Weekly “...if Gibson continues to put out work of this quality and high level of entertainment, will be a success story along the lines of Michael R. Fletcher, M.L. Spencer, or Rob J. Hayes.” – Grimdark Magazine “I can't praise the story enough. If you want something light-hearted and fun to read that will zip by quickly, but still want to feel like you got the content you hoped for, this is definitely the book you should pick up.” – The Inkslinger Book Reviews “Mr. Sean Gibson would be extremely fun to play Dungeons and Dragons with.” – Verified Reviewer