God Hates Abuse


Book Description

"God hates divorce!" Christian wives frequently hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse, which says, "along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances." Christian wives often think they must choose between two grim options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, internal conflict and heartache cloak every moment as they cling to survival, trying to please both God and their husband. The future looks hopeless, and their identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of domestic abuse, desensitized to God's ways and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults. Drawing from her own experience married to a dangerously abusive "Christian" man, Robin explores the common reluctance of Christian wives to leave their marriage. After fleeing her own marriage, Robin suffered from guilt and confusion as to whether God approved of her actions or not, and if she could divorce. After months of Bible study and reading the works of respected theologians and Christian leaders on the topic, she realized that in leaving her abusive marriage she had actually come into alignment with God's will. Robin understands the mentality and nature of abuse that drives these spiritually destructive marriages. She draws from a deep well of biblical insight and practical experience to give wives the tools necessary to be set free and live a life of hope, clarity and faith. God Hates Abuse is a biblically liberating and refreshing resource for Christian wives. It offers a lifeline out of the darkness of abuse and spiritual condemnation. Victims of spousal abuse will find this book validating, encouraging and healing, regardless if they are bound by their abuser or by errant teaching from the church.




The Life-Saving Divorce


Book Description

You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce. And get this, God will still love you. Really. Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect? If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you. In "The Life-Saving Divorce" You'll Learn: - How to know if you should stay or if you should go.- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse. - Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians. - Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children. - How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce. - How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce. Can you find happiness after leaving your destructive marriage? Absolutely yes! You can get your life back and flourish more than you thought possible. Are you ready? Then let's go. It's time to be free. This book includes multiple first-person interviews. Explains psychological abuse, gaslighting, the abuse cycle, Christian divorce and remarriage, children and divorce, domestic violence, parental alienation, mental abuse, and biblical reasons for divorce. Includes diagrams such as the Duluth Wheel of Power and Control (the Duluth Model) and the Abuse Cycle, as well as graphs based on Paul Amato's 2003 study analyzing Judith Wallerstein's book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. Includes quotes by Leslie Vernick, Lundy Bancroft, Shannon Thomas, David Instone-Brewer, Natalie Hoffman, LifeWay Research, Kathleen Reay, Gottman Institute, Glenda Riley, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Steven Stosny, Michal Gilad, Leonie Westenberg, Nancy Nason-Clark, Julie Owens, Marg Mowczko, Justin Holcomb, Barna Group, Justin Lehmiller, Alan Hawkins, Brian Willoughby, William Doherty, Brad Wright, Bradford Wilcox, Sheila Gregoire, E Mavis Hetherington, John Kelly, Betsey Stevenson, Justin Wolfers, Norm Wright, Virginia Rutter, Judith Herman, and Bessel van der Kolk. Recommended reading list includes: Henry Cloud, John Townsend Boundaries books, Richard Warshack books.




Not Under Bondage


Book Description

This book, written by a survivor of domestic abuse, explains the dilemmas of abuse victims, carefully examines the Scripture and scholarly research, and shows how the Bible sets victims of abuse free from bondage and guilt. Key concepts are: The Bible distinguishes between "treacherous divorce" and "disciplinary divorce", prohibiting the former and permitting the latter in serious cases of abuse, adultery or desertion. If the offending partner was sexually immoral, or abused, deserted, or unjustly dismissed the other, and has been judged to be "as an unbeliever," the Bible allows the non-offending, mistreated partner to remarry.




Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage


Book Description

One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. Those women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.This book isn't for the parents who raised them. It's not for the pastors who condemn them. It's not for the friends who don't understand them. And it's not for the partner who dehumanizes them. This book is for the woman in the pew who somehow, by God's divine intervention, finds it in her hand and has to catch her breath because she suddenly feels like she's free falling.I wrote this book just for you. Let's dig in.




Suffering and the Heart of God


Book Description

She's seen slave dungeons in Ghana. Genocide in Rwanda. Systemic sexual abuse in Brazil. Child abuse and domestic violence in the US. After forty years of counseling abuse survivors around the world, Dr. Diane Langberg, a world renowned trauma expert, remains certain that what trauma destroys, Christ can and does restore. This book will convince you, too, of the healing heart of God. But it's not a fast process, instead much patience is required from family, friends, and counselors as they wisely and respectfully help victims unpack their traumatic suffering through talking, tears, and time. And it's not a process that can be separated from the work of God in both a counselor and counselee. Dr. Langberg calls all of those who wish to help sufferers to model Jesus's sacrificial love and care in how they listen, love, and guide. The heart of God is revealed to sufferers as they grow to understand the cross of Christ and how their God came to this earth and experienced such severe suffering that he too is "well-acquainted with grief." The cross of Christ is the lens that transforms and redeems traumatic suffering and its aftermath, not only for the sufferer, but it also transforms those who walk with the suffering. This book will be a great help to anyone who loves, listens to, and seeks to help someone impacted by trauma and abuse. There is no quick fix, but there is the hope for healing through the love of God in Christ.




Is It My Fault?


Book Description

Is it My Fault? proclaims the gospel of healing and hope to victims who know too well the depths of destruction and the overwhelming reality of domestic violence. At least one in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in their lifetime. The effects of domestic violence are physical, social, emotional, psychological, and spiritual, and can have long-lasting distressing consequences. It is common for victims of domestic violence to suffer from ongoing depression and recurring nightmares, self-harm, such as cutting, panic attacks, substance abuse, and more. This book exists to address the abysmal issues of domestic violence using the powerful and transforming biblical message of grace and redemption. Is It My Fault? convincingly shows that the Lord is the only one who can heal the despairing victim. It deals with this devastating problem and sin honestly and directly without hiding its prevalence today.




Innocent Lives


Book Description

Cienna is a strong-willed gal with an independent and assertive attitude. If anyone could have fought off an abduction, it should have been her. However, even she is unable to fight two able-bodied men and the drugs that they use to get her in the back of the van. Her journey begins as she awakes, and then is sold to a friendly man in a baseball hat named Mike, who promises to take her back to her family but instead ties her to a pole in his barn. Mike becomes her friend, saving her from the man who abducted her and violently took her innocence. But eventually she discovers Mike's secrets and realizes that he too is a monster. When she is finally rescued, she is left with a consequence of the men's sin and must decide along with her family what to do. Jasmine is sweet and kind and always berating herself for not being assertive like her friend Cienna. When Jasmine awakes, she is in a brothel, locked up in the "Trouble Room." Jasmine remains convinced for the rest of her journey that she has been very bad and sentenced to this place of horror. She deals with her plight by enjoying the drugs that her owners provide and developing a second personality. Her new friend dies at the brothel, but not before requesting a favor of Jasmine. When Jasmine is found, not only is she addicted to the narcotics she was given while in captivity, but she also must deal with trying to rid herself of her second personality, "Bay".




Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible


Book Description

Through a careful exploration of the background literature of the Old Testament, the ancient Near East and ancient Judaism, Instone-Brewer constructs a biblical picture of divorce and remarriage that is directly relevant to modern relationships.




Feelings and Faith


Book Description

Weaves together biblical exposition and practical application to demonstrate how emotions relate to the Christian life. Emotions are a vital part of what it means to be a human being made in the image of God and redeemed in Jesus Christ. But often our emotions confuse and mislead us. So what is the proper place for emotions in a Christian's walk of faith? In Feelings and Faith Brian Borgman draws from his extensive biblical knowledge and his pastoral experience to help readers understand both divine and human emotions. After laying a biblical foundation he moves on to practical application, focusing on how Christians can put to death ungodly emotional displays and also cultivate godly emotions. This biblically informed, practical volume is helpful for pastors, counselors, and serious-minded Christians who wish to develop a full-orbed faith that encompasses their emotional life.




Sacred Influence


Book Description

God calls women to influence and move their husbands in positive ways. Applying the concepts from his bestseller, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas offers a view through a man’s eyes. Here’s the inside scoop on what men find motivating—with inspiring real-life stories of women who are employing this knowledge to transform their marriages. Sacred Influence doesn’t flinch from difficult marital problems. But by using this faith-focused approach, you’ll see how to help your husband become the man God intends him to be. At the same time, God will shape you to be the woman he designed you to be. God has given godly women a wonderful power to influence and encourage their husbands. What’s the secret? This book will provide challenges, examples, and hope to women who want to love their husbands well and be loved well in return. --Dennis Rainey, President of Family Life