I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue


Book Description

Know your Mornington Crescent from your Cheddar Gorge? Are you partial to a bad-tempered clavier? Would you like some unhelpful travel advice? Featuring the very best moments from a forty-year history of broadcasting, Stephen Fry introduces this indispensable companion to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, the Radio 4 comedy series which attracts millions of listeners each week. Featuring hilarious excerpts from the show's favourite games including: The Uxbridge English Dictionary, Famous First Words, the Trail of the Lonesome Pun and Late Arrivals as well as much much more, this book is essential for Clue fans young and old. For those new to Clue, there's a Beginner's Guide on how to play Mornington Crescent and numerous games which are fun and easy to play at home and guaranteed to entertain.




I Haven't a Clue


Book Description

The flash of lightning comes out of nowhere. I jump, and I’m surprised to be knee deep in water. The clap of thunder comes with a violence not to be matched by anything man-made. Something has made Mother Nature strike out with a vengeance. The warm water seems to be filled with tiny needles pricking my skin. I turn around and around, searching for a way out of the water. It seems endless. It is getting deeper. The current makes it hard to wade back. Wade back to where? The needles are now sinking deeper into my body. My blood is making the water a dull red. The noise of the thunder vibrates into my soul, stealing my breath away. The lightning breaks through the darkness and bounces off my wet skin, making a multitude of colors reflecting in both the water and sky. The needles no longer prick my skin but have become long slashes. Tearing my flesh into ribbons and floating away. Soon I will be a skeleton with only eyes to witness my life being torn from me. Will Elise ever be able to escape the world of her nightmares? Does she dream to escape or to find the answers that are keeping her trapped in her loveless marriage and in a world filled with terror?




The Almost Totally Complete 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue'


Book Description

The first course was The Complete Limericks Collection which sold over 30,000 copies in the trade last Autumn. Now the team is ready to expose every bit of their talent assisted by Sven, Samantha and Mrs Trellis. Profoundly illustrated we revisit: the Late Arrives at the Ball, Celebrity Lonely Hearts, Famous Unsuccessful Chat Up Lines, Famous First Words, Hitler's Diaries (ideas for fraudulent diaries from other famous folk), Unhelpful Advice (the team supplies unhelpful advice to among many a sex education class and new parliamentarians), Mrs Trellis' Letters, Name That Barcode, National Anthems (suggestions for unusual anthems for countries around the world), Humphrey's Opening Links, Proverbs in Translation, Through the Keyhole, Topical Nursery Rhymes, Low budget Remakes of Famous Films... and much more. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is the most listened to comedy programme on British radio, an institution with regular panellists Tim Brooke Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and until 1996 Willie Rushton, being given silly things to do by jazz supremo Humphrey Lyttelton. Listener figures are now over 2 million each week and is now aired also on Radio Two the only radio comedy show




The Doings of Hamish and Dougal


Book Description

Hello there! You'll have had your tea? Dougal here. Well, here we go, with our wee book. It's a collection or pot pourri (I've no idea what Hamish means by that - it sounds like something to do with the Pope) of our activities or 'doings' in the village we call home, because that's exactly what it is. Together with our housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie, and of course, the Laird who lives up at the big hoose and shoots grouse and other bottles of whisky, these are the actual scripts of our wee show which we performed on the wireless, when most of you were probably in bed! Hamish and I have known each other all our lives - well, not yet, obviously! We have a very close relationship and also with each other. Mrs Naughtie been with us since we first met her at the Krankie Arms, where she was working as part-time barmaid and bouncer. In addition to the scripts you'll find all kinds of other things tucked away under its kilt. There's a hectic social life in the village. You'll visit the 'bide a wee' café, proud possessor of three Michelin tyres. You'll have a conducted tour of the big hoose by Big Tam, our local guide (not during opening hours). You'll marvel at the site of the Battle of Auchtermuchty, now allotments. You'll peek into the Laird's social diary in 'oot and aboot' (40p at the post office). And a great deal more. Well, I hope this wee note will make you hurry to the till and spend the terrible amount of money these wee books cost these days. But then again this particular wee book is Scotland's answer to Richard and Judy! Hurrah! Away now ...




Lyttelton's Britain


Book Description

The I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue team of Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, in the company of their esteemed chairman Humphrey Lyttelton, have been recording their BBC radio show around the UK for longer than any of them can remember ... that's about a week - or twenty minutes in the case of Barry Cryer. At each venue Humph would present a short history of the location, written by Iain Pattinson, to the mutual delight of the audience, the team and their delightful scorer Samantha (who somehow always found time for a rewarding poke around the area's backstreets). We are privileged to present, in gazetteer form, the very best of Humph's local histories form Radio 4's multi award-winning 'antidote to panel games'. As accurate as Wikipedia and as comprehensive as Reader's Digest, this unique guide tells you everything you never knew you wouldn't ever need to know about the background and inhabitants of Britain's most prominent towns and cities. The intelligent reader will waste no time in adding it to their collection. Bristol It was from Bristol in 1497 that John Cabot set off to find a new route to the Spice Islands by sailing north-west. He instead discovered a strange, hostile world which he named 'Newfoundland', until the natives explained that they actually called it 'Swansea'. Nottingham It's well documented in official records that the city's original name was 'Snottingham' or 'home of Snotts', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the initial letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham'or the 'home of Notts'. It's easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe. Brighton A settlement is first recorded in Brighton as long as ago as 3000 BC, when Celtic Druids practised their ancient worship of oaks, mistletoe and virgins, and indeed, oaks and mistletoe are still plentiful in Brighton.




The New Uxbridge English Dictionary


Book Description

With The Uxbridge English Dictionary the stars of BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue had the nation in stitches. But times move on, words change and their meanings with them. Comedy's most outrageous dictionary is back with a hilarious new collection of definitions for all those English words that don't mean anything like they should. If you have ever pondered the meaning of Platypus (to give your cat pigtails), Flemish (rather like snot) or Celtic (a prison for fleas), then this is the book for you. With nearly 600 new definitions from radio's best loved comedy show, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, The New Uxbridge English Dictionary pushes the boundaries of the English language to new side-splitting limits. A must for any fan of British comedy.




The Southern Gates Of Arabia - A Journey In The Hadbramaut


Book Description

Many of the earliest books, particularly those dating back to the 1900s and before, are now extremely scarce and increasingly expensive. We are republishing these classic works in affordable, high quality, modern editions, using the original text and artwork.




How to Pioneer


Book Description

Small new Christian communities created by pioneer ministers, both lay and ordained, are popping up everywhere – on housing estates, in community centres, schools, cafes, among different age groups and in numerous other contexts beyond the local church. This practical book is for all who are engaged in this form of ministry and it begins by identifying some basic principles from a wide variety of creative examples of pioneer ministry. Illustrated with actual examples throughout, it explores • how to ‘listen’ to the physical, social and spiritual environment of a local context • how to discern a community’s needs and the appropriate missional response • how to build a creative team • the art of the start – how to begin well • how to build relationships and create community by acts of authentic love • how to become and stay Jesus-centred • how to live and tell the gospel in meaningful ways • how to grow disciples • how to stay fresh (and avoid rotas!)




Decision Points (Enhanced Edition)


Book Description

With more than 200 photographs, videos, letters, and speeches, this Deluxe eBook edition of Decision Points brings to life the critical decisions of George W. Bush’s presidency. George W. Bush served as president of the United States during eight of the most consequential years in American history. The decisions that reached his desk impacted people around the world and defined the times in which we live. Decision Points takes readers inside the Texas governor’s mansion on the night of the 2000 election, aboard Air Force One during the harrowing hours after the attacks of September 11, 2001, into the Situation Room moments before the start of the war in Iraq, and behind the scenes at the White House for many other historic presidential decisions on the financial crisis, Hurricane Katrina, Afghanistan, and Iran. In addition, it offers intimate new details on his quitting drinking, his discovery of faith, and his relationship with his family. The Deluxe eBook edition also includes: • Videos from the defining moments of the presidency, including Bush’s inspiring Ground Zero speech to the 9/11 rescue workers, intimate family home movies, and a special introduction to the edition from the president himself • Full texts of his most important speeches, including his addresses to the nation about 9/11, Afghanistan and Iraq, and his second Inaugural • Handwritten letters from the president’s personal correspondence • And more than 50 new photos not contained in the print version of Decision Points A groundbreaking first in bringing multimedia to presidential memoir, the Deluxe eBook edition of Decision Points will captivate supporters, surprise critics, and change perspectives on eight remarkable years in American history—and on the man at the center of events.




Pigs Can Fly


Book Description

Barry Cryer has collaborated with all the greats from Max Miller to Tony Hancock, Bob Hope, Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore, John Cleese, Frankie Howard, Kenny Everett, Spike Milligan, Eric Sykes, Dave Allan, Richard Prior, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Graham Chapman, the Two Ronnie's, Morecome and Wise, in fact almost all the great comedians and comic writers since the mid 1950s. This is his collection of true, tall, stories form his fifty years in comedy all neatly packaged alphabetically under the names of those told to, by or about.