5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners


Book Description

First published under the title 5,000 great one-liners. London: Robson Press, 2012.




5,000 Great One Liners


Book Description

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.




Blood out of Stone


Book Description

Kripos’ police inspector Odd Gripar stumbles upon a grim history and finds out, not only the truth behind three stuffed dead men, but also behind the man with the code name ‘Wolfsangel’, designer of judgment. This man, seemingly possessed by revenge, has many other human characteristics. These develop in intimate settings out of interaction of social factors, choices and illness. In this intriguing adventure Wolfsangel first looks like an apparent devilish ghoul who 'squeezes blood out of stone', leading Norway to a man who should never have been born, whose species used to be a recognized disease in Norway. The confessions of three stuffed dead in a bunker make clear how much his kind, the Lebensborn children, suffered. Lebensborn was a race improvement experiment by SS leader Heinrich Himmler. About 12000 children were born in Norway during WWII to a Norwegian mother and a German father, the most famous being ABBA singer Frida. After the war, many these children were declared mentally defective and hereditary weak by the Norwegian authorities. They ended up in institutions, were mistreated or worse. Wolfsangel ruthlessly grows to his Norwegian plan. In 2007, after the European court in Strasbourg considered the Lebensborn case as inadmissible, he forces his way to recognition and justice, learning the hard way how truth can be disturbing, but that also love can break stones.




Gluper The Alien


Book Description

WARNING. This book contains scenes of edge of the seat excitement, heroic bravery and 2015-11-06 Front Coverextreme silliness. You are about to meet Gluper. Strap yourself in as he takes you across the universe and beyond to strange new worlds as well as the strangest planet of all, Earth. Have you ever wondered what an alien would eat? Have you ever wondered what animals live on an alien world? The answers to all these questions are inside as well as the answer to the question that everyone asks, why does Gluper have triangular boots?




The Herald Diary: Owling with Laughter


Book Description

You can have a lot of laughs in ten years, which is why we have collected the very best of the amusing stories encountered by the readers of The Herald Diary column over the past decade. There was even a Scottish Labour Prime Minister all those years ago, Celtic fans could only dream that their team would begin its quest for 10 titles in a row, and the word Covid was simply a typing error for David or cove. So as everyone could really do with a smile just now, we have combed well over two thousand Diary columns to bring the best of what made Scots laugh over the last ten years, whether it is the sharpest humour from pubs, the daft things children say or the humour from all sides of Scottish courts, the very best are here.




One Of Those Days


Book Description

Malika always thought she was happy and did a good job of making everyone else think so too. Her carefree lifestyle was what most women lusted for. Able to do and go whenever and wherever she wanted at the drop of a dime. Not having to answer to anyone but God and herself and to be honest she didn't really put God in the equation for the most part. She would always answer when asked why she wasn't married or why she had no children I ain't never want to be married and damn sho didn't wanna be a nobody's momma. Little did she know her life was about to change in a matter of months. Malika's story reaches and touches on the lives of all women in some way or another. The woman who chose career over caress, the woman who found herself knee deep in a relationship and couldn't tell you when it happenned. Those of us that are always leb by our head itjust gives all of those women a different look at the choices made to survive but that kept us from living.




The Castle Omnibus


Book Description

50 immortals, chosen by the emperor lead humanity in an endless war against hordes of ginant insects. Their immortality, conferred on them by the emperror can be taken away if they lose a challange to be part of the circle of 50. Jant, the emperor's drug-addicted messanger, the only man who can fly, tells the story of mankinds savage fight for survival in a uniquely imagined, beautiful fantasy world.




Happy Days


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Strand Magazine


Book Description