Monsters Eat Whiny Children


Book Description

Dad has warned Henry and Eve: If you whine too much, monsters will eat you. Henry and Eve don’t listen, of course. The only problem is, when the monster comes, he can’t find the right recipe for whiny children—and neither can his monster friends! A whiny child salad doesn’t work because there’s paprika in the dressing. A whiny child cake won’t do because the flour spills all over the floor. And whiny child burgers are out of the question because the grill is too hard to light up. Arguments and hilarity ensue. And just when our persnickety monsters decide on the perfect dish…the worst thing of all happens….




Cousin Irv from Mars


Book Description

From the author/illustrator of Monsters Eat Whiny Children comes a humorous tale about learning to accept your family—even if one of them is an alien. Teddy isn’t excited about Cousin Irv’s visit. Cousin Irv is too weird. He steals Teddy’s pillow, eats Teddy’s food, and even plays with Teddy’s action figures. Not to mention that Cousin Irv is from MARS. What will Teddy’s friends say? But it turns out that everyone at school loves Cousin Irv. Not only is he from a different planet, he can vaporize things! Maybe cousins from Mars aren’t so bad after all... Illustrated with clever simplicity in New Yorker cartoonist Bruce Kaplan’s trademark style and filled with out-of-this-world whimsy, Cousin Irv from Mars is an interplanetary treat that begs to be shared.




I Would Really Like to Eat a Child


Book Description

One morning Achilles, a young crocodile, insists that he will eat a child that day and refuses all other food, but when he actually finds a little girl, she puts him in his place.




That Monster on the Block


Book Description

Monster is excited to see what kind of creature will move into Vampire's old house on the block. He even starts practicing his welcome growl for the new neighbor. But when the moving truck pulls up, it's not a greedy goblin, an ogre, or a dastardly dragon that steps out. Instead, it's something even more terrifying than Monster could have imagined! Monster quickly rallies the other neighbors to unite against the new guy on the block. But what if the new neighbor isn't exactly as bad as Monster thinks? Join Monster as he confronts his fears in this charming and lighthearted look at what it means to accept others who are different from us.




Meaniehead


Book Description

Famed "New Yorker" cartoonist and bestselling author Kaplan depicts the catastrophic and humorous consequences of sibling rivalry in this companion to his "Monsters Eat Whiny Children." Full color.




Go the F**k to Sleep


Book Description

The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.




Someone Farted


Book Description

Two words throw a family’s car trip into utter (and smelly) chaos in this hilarious story of denial from Bruce Eric Kaplan. The Krupkes are having a nice, peaceful Saturday morning drive to the grocery store when: it happens. Someone. Farts. The car is thrown into chaos. Sister turns against brother. Mom almost faints. Dad almost gets into an accident. The smell is so bad it’s criminal—so criminal they all end up in jail! And still no one will take responsibility for the odious odor. Will the Krupkes make it through this ordeal in one piece, or will they fracture from the unending accusations of “whoever smelt it dealt it?”




The Latke who Couldn't Stop Screaming


Book Description

"Latkes are potato pancakes served at Hanukah. Lemony Snicket is an alleged children's author. For the first time in literary history, these two elements are combined in one book. People who are interested in either or both of these things will find this book so enjoyable it will feel as if Hanukah is being celebrated for several years, rather than eight nights."--back cover.




Pirate's Log


Book Description

Hoist the anchor and get ready for high seas adventure! This arrr-inspiring journal provides aspiring pirates games, puzzles, challenges, and advice on everything from swabbing the deck to walking the plank and avoiding scurvy. And for studying treasure maps after the lights go out, this journal also includes a reading light for secret journaling below deck!




Comet's Nine Lives


Book Description

It all begins when Comet walks away from the lighthouse close to his birthplace on Nantucket Island. He visits a garden, a bookstore, a boat, and a party, and at each place he gets into trouble and loses one of his lives. Comet starts to worry. He longs for a home, a place where he’ll be safe. Will he find one before he uses up all nine lives?