Book Description

We all have our "inner-child" within us. Madeline Elsworth is a fifty-eight year old social worker whose life and her familys lives are affected by her lost "inner-child", Maddie. The fourth, fifth, and sixth years of her childhood are missing. Until she locates Maddie and lives those three years with her, Madeline can It be a whole person. Madeline lives in California as the woman she thinks she should be--an educated stable wife of a surgeon and mother of two adult daughters. Shes an "actress" going through her "role of life". As she grows older, reality is becoming too frightening so shes withdrawing and becoming more dependent on her family instead of being a participating member. Madeline believes her mother passed away during her childhood. When she learns her mother has just recently died, she is forced to return alone to her childhood environment in Pennsylvania to find her lost childhood years. As Maddie begins to appear, Madeline chooses to be in denial and doesnt want to leave her "safe place" so she sees Maddie as a very happy child and her childhood as a happy one. As Maddie continues appear.inq to her, she starts seeing things she doesn It want to acknowledge. Madeline keeps running away to her migraine headaches and Codeine to lessen her discomfort. But Madeline begins to feel love for Maddie and wants to defend and protect her. With the help of her old friend and psychiatrist, Doctor Bob, she starts trusting Maddie and wants to know her better. As a result, Maddie developes a need for Madeline to help her and opens up to her. Maddie slowly reveals her fears and horror she had suffered during those lost three years. With the support of the caring new people Madeline meets in her old hometown and her growing concern for Maddie, she finds new strength to help her "inner-child". Theres the friendly mortician who had known Maddie; theres the Ott family who gives support; theres Uncle Arthur who shares Maddies mothers younger years with her maternal grandparents; theres the attorney who fills in the blanks in her memory of her father and paternal grandparents; and then there are the memories of a sweet, loving Down s Syndrome boy whose love and devotion had helped Maddie survive. Madeline lives through Maddie s fourth, fifth, and sixth years with her and helps her "inner-child" cope with each horrific episode she had encountered. As Madeline holds her hand and walks by her side through those years, Maddie developes the courage to take Madeline back to the terror-filled events of her childhood. Madeline sees the abuse by her Schizophrenic mother; the absence of her loving father; the taunting and bullying by a neighborhood boy; the feeling of loneliness; facing the deaths of loved ones; and finally, almost her own death. As Maddie conquers her fears, she no longer needs to hide within Madelines psyche. Madeline experiences a beautiful feeling of freedom--freedom from the fear of devastating emotional pain. She emerges as the confident, self-loving woman she wants to be. She can now love her family and others with the deep trusting love she could never allow. Shes become a "whole person".