Once a Pun a Time...


Book Description

A collection of some of my favorite pun-liners, with illustrations by some of my most talented friends. Come along on this pointless journey of ridiculousness... speaking of journeys, comedy is my dream and I don't care where it takes me. Believe in your dreams! And please dream about me being successful.




Once Upon a Tome: The Misadventures of a Rare Bookseller


Book Description

Instant National Bestseller Shortlisted for the 2023 Inc. Non-Obvious Book Award "Witty, literary and very funny." —Minneapolis Star Tribune Welcome to Sotheran’s, one of the oldest bookshops in the world, with its weird and wonderful clientele, suspicious cupboards, unlabeled keys, poisoned books, and some things that aren’t even books, presided over by one deeply eccentric apprentice. Some years ago, Oliver Darkshire stepped into the hushed interior of Henry Sotheran Ltd (est. 1761) to apply for a job. Allured by the smell of old books and the temptation of a management-approved afternoon nap, Darkshire was soon unteetering stacks of first editions and placating the store’s resident ghost (the late Mr. Sotheran, hit by a tram). A novice in this ancient, potentially haunted establishment, Darkshire describes Sotheran’s brushes with history (Dickens, the Titanic), its joyous disorganization, and the unspoken rules of its gleefully old-fashioned staff, whose mere glance may cause the computer to burst into flames. As Darkshire gains confidence and experience, he shares trivia about ancient editions and explores the strange space that books occupy in our lives—where old books often have strong sentimental value, but rarely a commercial one. By turns unhinged and earnest, Once Upon a Tome is the colorful story of life in one of the world’s oldest bookshops and a love letter to the benign, unruly world of antiquarian bookselling, where to be uncommon or strange is the best possible compliment.




Once a Pun a Time


Book Description

Want to read something funny and learn how to tell your own jokes? Then you've come to the right place! Read laugh out loud jokes in part I and learn my secret joke formula in part II. Learning how to tell your own jokes sparks creativity and creates endless hours of fun.Book is small in size and can be carried inbackpacks,gift bagstotes perfect for subway rides, airplane travels, long road trips and bored days at home.Q: What did the fallen horse say to the other horses?A: Help! I've fallen and I can't "gitty-up!"Clean comedy for the whole family. Perfect for young budding comedians of all ages!Take some time to smile today and learn some tips and tricks along the way to help you share the gift with others.Everyone loves a good pun and children will enjoy Once "a Pun" a Time. Children love to tell jokes to parents, friends, and other family members.Written by Wolf Cub Chlo, the first section of this easy-to-read book provides a question-and-answer style with several examples of puns.The second section of this children's picture book teaches children-and their parents-how to come up with a pun by using a similar-sounding word or phrase. Children love a good pun or joke that tickles your 'punny bone.'"The adorable photographs will draw children into the book, while the puns will keep them entertained ... Puns can also serve as a lesson in spelling since puns often use similar-sounding words that have a different spelling. Knight and night sound the same but have very distinct spellings and different meanings. What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render. Oh, surrender. A pun makes people think of what that word should be or how it should be spelled.I think teachers will benefit from this book by giving children some examples of puns and how to make them up. Often, puns start with a question: What do baseball players eat on? Home plates!"- Readers favorite review, 5 stars




Once Upon a Lie


Book Description

“An excellent, edgy thriller” about a single mom turned amateur sleuth confronting “secrets, betrayals, stunning revelations. This book has it all” (Lisa Gardner, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Still See You Every Where). Maeve Conlon’s life is coming apart at the seams. Her bakery is barely making ends meet, and one of her daughters spends as much time grounded as the other does studying. Her ex-husband has a new wife, a new baby, and a look of pity for Maeve that’s absolutely infuriating. Her father insists he’s still independent, but he’s slowly and obviously succumbing to Alzheimer’s. And now, her cousin Sean Donovan has been found dead, sitting in his car in a public park in quiet Farringville, New York, shot through the head. There was never much love lost between Maeve and Sean and she’s not exactly devastated by his death, but suddenly the police are poking around asking the family questions. It’s just one more hassle Maeve doesn’t have time for, until she realizes that her father, whose memory and judgment are unreliable at best, is a suspect in the murder. Maeve is determined to clear his name, but is she prepared to cope with the dark memories and long-hidden secrets that doing so might dredge up? “[A] riveting tale of ordinary cruelty and complicated heroism . . . All the characters are sharply drawn, particularly Maeve, whose dark humor and stoic attitude mask an unshakable moral core.” —Publisher’s Weekly, starred review “A darkly powerful tale of family secrets, loss, and revenge.” —Hank Philippi Ryan, USA Today–bestselling author of The House Guest “A surprising, suspenseful and satisfying story.” —Mary Jane Clark, New York Times–bestselling author of Dying for Mercy




The Pun Also Rises


Book Description

At once entertaining and educational, this engaging book is a funny, erudite, and provocative exploration of puns, the people who make them, and this derided wordplay's remarkable impact on human history.




Once Upon a Unicorn


Book Description

A science-minded unicorn and a (literal) fiery horse team up in this fantasy adventure perfect for fans of Fablehaven and the Wizards of Once series. Have you ever heard of a unicorn who is more interested in science experiments than magic? Or a flaming horse who's a walking fire hazard? When a pumpkin-headed menace called Jack o' the Hunt and monsters untold threaten their home, this unlikely pair must team up to save all of the Whisperwood--and themselves! Award-winner Lou Anders delivers a fantasy adventure about friendship, fearlessness, and finding your true herd.




Once Upon a Farm


Book Description

National Bestseller Sometimes it’s not only what we plant but where we’re planted. Now raising their four-year-old daughter, Indiana, alone, after Joey’s passing, Rory Feek digs deeper into the soil of his life and the unusual choices he and his wife, Joey, made together and the ones he’s making now to lead his family into the future. When Rory Feek and his older daughters moved into a run-down farmhouse almost twenty years ago, he had no idea of the almost fairy-tale love story that was going to unfold on that small piece of Tennessee land . . . and the lessons he and his family would learn along the way. Now two years after Joey’s passing, as Rory takes their four-year-old daughter Indiana’s hand and walks forward into an unknown future, he takes readers on his incredible journey from heartbreak to hope and, ultimately, the kind of healing that comes only through faith. A raw and vulnerable look deeper into Rory’s heart, Once Upon a Farm is filled with powerful stories of love, life, and hope and the insights that one extraordinary, ordinary man in bib overalls has gleamed along the way. As opposed to homesteading, this is instead a book on lifesteading as Rory learns to cultivate faith, love, and fatherhood on a small farm while doing everything, at times, but farming. With frequent stories of his and Joey’s years together, and how those guide his life today, Rory unpacks just what it means to be open to new experiences. “This isn’t a how-to book; it’s more of a how we, or more accurately, how He, God, planted us on a few acres of land and grew something bigger than Joey or I could have ever imagined.”




Once Upon A Time...there was a Little Bird


Book Description

Introduce your little one to fables and fairy tales from around the world with this spellbinding series of board books for children. Little Bird has broken her wing and can't fly south for the winter with her friends. She has to find shelter, but will any trees offer her a safe place to rest? This charming retelling of a Native American tale of why evergreen trees keep their leaves in winter teaches children about the importance of being kind and sharing. This story is the perfect length for bedtime reading, and Maja Andersen's colorful illustrations bring the magic and wonder of the tale to life. It is sure to be a storybook that little ones will treasure forever.




Once Upon a Quinceanera


Book Description

Finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award, a “phenomenal, indispensable” (USA Today) exploration of the Latina “sweet fifteen” celebration, by the bestselling author of How the García Girls Lost Their Accents and In the Time of Butterflies The quinceañera, a celebration of a Latina girl’s fifteenth birthday, has become a uniquely American trend. This lavish party with ball gowns, multi-tiered cakes, limousines, and extravagant meals is often as costly as a prom or a wedding. But many Latina girls feel entitled to this rite of passage, marking a girl’s entrance into womanhood, and expect no expense to be spared, even in working-class families. Acclaimed author Julia Alvarez explores the history and cultural significance of the “quince” in the United States, and the consequences of treating teens like princesses. Through her observations of a quince in Queens, interviews with other quince girls, and the memories of her own experience as a young immigrant, Alvarez presents a thoughtful and entertaining portrait of a rapidly growing multicultural phenomenon, and passionately emphasizes the importance of celebrating Latina womanhood.




Once Upon a Time


Book Description

Ice Prince. Prince Jamil of Calluvia dislikes that moniker, but he has to admit it's not wrong. He is responsible and proper, and it's probably accurate to say that he isn't good at emotions. After being widowed, Jamil's life has revolved around his duties as a crown prince and little else. But one night it changes. One night, Jamil meets a man at the royal stables, a man who is the opposite of proper, a man with eyes as black as sin. Rohan di'Lehr is everything Jamil should despise. He's a rude, lowborn criminal. He's terrible for Jamil's self-control. He makes Jamil behave like a wanton man, not the crown prince. They have nothing in common. They have no future together. He still can't stay away. A story of forbidden attraction and love that defies all odds.