Robots, Dorks or Old Men


Book Description

Many investors find that with nothing more than discipline and an Internet connection, they are able to improve their financial life without the aid of a third party. But not everyone is thrilled with the idea of DIY financial planning. Robots, Dorks or Old Men focuses on those trying to figure out which source of financial advice is best suited to their personality, needs, goals, means, and values. This clear, accessible guide explains the different types of financial and robo-advisors out there. It identifies the five most common sources of financial advice and thoroughly investigates each one, including checklists to help you determine if that source is right for you. With Robots, Dorks or Old Men, you’ll soon find a great partner to help you pursue your financial dreams!




The NERDS 5-Book Collection


Book Description

Read all five books in the hilarious NERDS series and experience the excitement of international espionage combined with the awkwardness of elementary school! The N.E.R.D.S (National Espionage, Rescue, and Defense Society) have been gifted with nanobyte-enhanced superpowers. The only catch: they’re still in elementary school! Join Duncan "Gluestick" Dewey, Ruby "Pufferfish" Peet, Heathcliff "Choppers" Hodges, Julio "Flinch" Escala, Matilda "Wheezer" Choi, and Jackson "Braceface" Jones as they work from their school basement headquarters to save the world, confront former teammates gone bad, infiltrate the cheerleading squad, stop a plague of evil alter-egos, and save the President's daughter. Read the NERDs series now and try to stop yourself from laughing (warning: it’s impossible)!




Lord Rings, Bourne Hercules and Xena, Totally Recall I Robot Die Hard


Book Description

Hilarious parodies of Lord of the Rings, the Bourne trilogy, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess, Total Recall, I, Robot, and the Die Hard trilogy. Or as I call them, Load of the Rings, Harpocrates, Xenon, Porn Born, starring Chasten Porn (nothing naughty, just a name), Totally Reek, Y'all, Diet Hard, and My Robot. Here's a sample of that, 'Will Smith plays Dull Snooper, a young cop who loves robots so much he even cut off his own arm just so he could have a robot arm put on.' Perhaps I missed the spirit of the piece. Meet Booboo Baggies, Skipper the Ranger, Harpo and Yo Lass, Xenon and Gabby Well, Xenon's daughter, Pinto. Speaking of names, a spy needs inconspicuous names on his fake ID's such as Dildo Pimpernel of Saskatoon, Jar Jar Binks of Katmandu, and Troma Kinky, of Kubla Khan.




NERDS: The Villain Virus


Book Description

A virus has infected Arlington, Virginia, home of NERDS headquarters, and it’s much worse than your run-of-the-mill flu. Instead of coughing and sneezing, the victims of this voracious virus are transformed into superintelligent criminal masterminds. Soon nearly everyone—including some of the NERDS team—is plotting to take over the world. And who’s to blame for this nasty infection? None other than former NERDS teammate Heathcliff Hodges. With more people breaking out into evil cackles every day, it’s up to Flinch, the hyperactive superspy with a sweet tooth, to stop the virus. He needs to destroy the virus at its source, and to do that he’s going to have to get inside Heathcliff’s head—literally. Flinch will have to miniaturize himself and take a fantastic voyage through the supervillain’s body to fight white blood cells, stomach acid, and a nest of nasty nanobytes in the hope that he can save the world from . . . the Villain Virus.




The Villain Virus (NERDS Book Four)


Book Description

The NERDS series combines the excitement of international espionage with the awkwardness of elementary school as it follows the adventures of a group of unpopular fifth graders who run a spy network from inside their school. With the help of cutting-edge science, they transform their nerdy qualities into incredible abilities, and the results are awesome, inspiring—and hilarious. A virus has infected Arlington, Virginia, home of NERDS headquarters, and it’s much worse than your run-of-the-mill flu. Instead of coughing and sneezing, the victims of this voracious virus are transformed into superintelligent criminal masterminds. Soon nearly everyone—including some of the NERDS team—is plotting to take over the world. And who’s to blame for this nasty infection? None other than former NERDS teammate Heathcliff Hodges. With more people breaking out into evil cackles every day, it’s up to Flinch, the hyperactive superspy with a sweet tooth, to stop the virus. He needs to destroy the virus at its source, and to do that he’s going to have to get inside Heathcliff’s head—literally. Flinch will have to miniaturize himself and take a fantastic voyage through the supervillain’s body to fight white blood cells, stomach acid, and a nest of nasty nanobytes in the hope that he can save the world from . . . the Villain Virus.




Brace for Impact


Book Description

Two archenemies/best friends set off on a journey across America to save their friend. They have six days to reach San Francisco from Kentucky, but they have no money and few practical skills. Along the way, they encounter truckers, pro-wrestlers, love-crazed middle-aged Japanese women, robots, an insane smoothie maker, and a plan to bring down the Internet.




Geeks, Girls, and Secret Identities


Book Description

A SUPER funny, SUPER fast-paced, SUPER debut! Can knowing the most superhero trivia in the whole school be considered a superpower? If so, Vincent Wu is invincible. If not (and let's face it, it's "not"), then Vincent and his pals Max and George don't get any props for being the leaders (and, well, sole members) of the (unofficial) Captain Stupendous Fan Club. But what happens when the Captain is hurt in an incident involving BOTH Professor Mayhem and his giant indestructible robot AND (mortifyingly) Polly Winnicott-Lee, the girl Vincent totally has a crush on? The entire city is in danger, Vincent's parents and his friends aren't safe, the art teacher has disappeared, and talking to Polly is REALLY, REALLY AWKWARD.Only Vincent Wu has what it takes to save the Captain, overcome Professor Mayhem, rally his friends, and figure out what to say to Polly. But will anyone take him seriously? Seriously. Anyone??Find out in this action-packed super comedy debut.




Geeks, Babes and Sentient Vegetables: Triumvirate Singularity with a Squirt of Lemon Juice


Book Description

For those people who loved Star Wars, Star Trek and science fiction in general but don't take them too seriously. Every science fiction trope and cliche expertly mashed into one tale about a guy, his cat, his secret agent alien dancing girl and a talking 7 foot tall avocado. In the finest traditions of everything that was wrong with Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens, Transformers and many more movies, television shows and video games all crammed into the day to day adventures of Will Campbell, average minimum wage employee at a miniature golf course. An epic quest across the galaxy filled unreasonable amounts of violence from highly impractical weapons and vague references to every science fiction masterpiece that came before it. Plus some really obscure ones and some no one has heard of before."




Geeks, Babes and Sentient Vegetables Volume 3 Kicking Sci-Fi in the Roddenberries


Book Description

For those people who loved Star Wars, Star Trek and science fiction in general but don't take them too seriously. Every science fiction trope and cliché expertly mashed into one tale about a guy, his cat, his secret agent alien dancing girl and a talking 7 foot tall avocado. In the finest traditions of everything that was wrong with Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens, Transformers and many more movies, television shows and video games all crammed into the day to day adventures of Will Campbell, average minimum wage employee at a miniature golf course. An epic quest across the galaxy filled unreasonable amounts of violence from highly impractical weapons and vague references to every science fiction masterpiece that came before it. Plus some really obscure ones and some no one has heard of before.




The Old Man and the Tee


Book Description

One man's hilarious and heartwarming quest to drop 10 strokes from his golf game in a year, using the top teachers, pros, and equipment money can buy.