Santa Claus Heard a Fart


Book Description




Father Christmas Heard a Fart


Book Description

The side-splitting festive follow-up to Old MacDonald Heard a Fart, from hilarious picture book superstar, Olaf Falafel. "Father Christmas heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" Father Christmas is getting ready to deliver the presents - but he keeps getting distracted by some VERY rude noises! Who keeps FARTING?! Could such a big noise actually be coming from someone rather small...' More windy fun is in store in this brilliant picture book by the sensational Olaf Falafel. Featuring helpful do-it-yourself instructions so you can fart along to your heart's content and drive your family nuts during the holidays, it's set to be the ultimate stocking filler for Christmas! Fans of The Dinosaur That Pooped series will love this tongue-in-cheek Christmas tale. Perfect for ages 4 and up.




When Santa Fell to Earth


Book Description

A crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews




Being Santa Claus


Book Description

A veteran Santa reveals heartwarming true stories and lessons from his twenty-year career spreading Christmas magic. With the holiday shopping season beginning earlier each year, more than ever. Americans are struggling to remember the true meaning of Christmas. And who better to deliver the gift of Christmas inspiration than a man who has spent the last two decades playing Santa? Sal Lizard was in his twenties when his beard and hair turned completely white. Today he appears everywhere from malls and parades to schools and hospitals. And— from his custom-made red velvet suits to the mistletoe that hangs from the rearview mirror in his Santa-mobile—he is Santa Claus three hundred and sixty-five days a year. In Being Santa Claus Sal reflects on his experiences with both children and adults including: Christmas magic is all around us: We don’t always see it, but it is there, shaping and enriching our lives. Sometimes you need to go that extra mile:Santa Claus is the one person who can’t even use a blizzard as an excuse not to honor his commitments, and Sal teaches adults the importance of always showing up for our children. Even a small child can make a big difference: Sal has met some impressive children over the years, and he’s learned that you don’t need to be a grown-up to make an impact on the world around you. In Being Santa Claus Sal shares these lessons, along with often heartwarming, occasionally heartbreaking, and sometimes downright hysterical stories from his twenty-year career as Santa.




Old MacDonald Heard a Fart


Book Description

"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.




Fritz the Farting Reindeer


Book Description

Leading up to the BIG day, Santa must choose his Christmas crew. Fritz the Reindeer is one of the contenders but he has a small problem: He has gas. Will Fritz make the team? Join Fritz in a new Christmas adventure that will be cherished for years to come. A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. Vote on new title names and receive freebies at humorhealsus.com.




Howard Stern Comes Again


Book Description

Presents the first book in more than twenty years from the self-proclaimed King of All Media.




Ellen Foster (Oprah's Book Club)


Book Description

"Filled with lively humor, compassion, and intimacy." —Alice Hoffman, The New York Times Book Review "When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy." With that opening sentence we enter the childhood world of one of the most appealing young heroines in contemporary fiction. Her courage, her humor, and her wisdom are unforgettable as she tells her own story with stunning honesty and insight. An Oprah Book Club selection, this powerful novel has become an American classic. Winner of the American Academy of Arts and Letters' Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction and the Ernest Hemingway Foundation's Citation for Fiction.




Farting Four-Toed Troll


Book Description

It is a funny take on a Norwegian tale of the Christmas Troll and why he feeds the animals at Christmas. It is also a book to provide a subtle teaching experience for appropriate pragmatic skills of calling others by their proper name. It also gives a great insight into the Norwegian culture of trolls and Christmas. The author lived in Norway for nine years and her daughters were lucky to grow up there. This book provides the author's grandchildren an insight into the culture that their grandparents experienced, The Christmas troll discovers that the farm animals are tired of eating only hay. In his compassion he promises to find them something better to eat. By peeking into a window he sees bowls of steaming Norwegian porridge on the table. That is exactly the food the animals will surely like. The farmer and his wife are awakened during the night by farting sounds and smells. At first the wife thinks it is her husband but then he denies it. Then, there is a crash and clatter as the troll trips over the Christmas tree. He then runs out with only three bowls of porridge and the wife is left with a mess on the floor. Then, they have to cook more porridge in the morning. Well, the father discovers why the troll has stolen the porridge. Norwegians are a very loving and compassionate people. The mother decides that every Christmas she will leave porridge out for the troll to feed the animals. And, the young girls are given a lesson in what they should call the troll, a farting four-toed troll or by his real name - Christmas Troll or the Norwegian name, Julenisse.




Ijamama Speaks: Wisdom of a Black Sistah from the Urban Hood


Book Description

Ijamama Speaks is a hilarious satire. Ijamama is a woman from the urban Hood who is accidentally discovered by a feminist magazine, Hot Heifer, after she stood up to a sexist law that allowed men to be topless in public but not women. A published interview of Ijamama in Hot Heifer magazine leads to her cohosting a feminist, late-night TV show, and eventually getting her own late-night TV show, The Ijamama Tell-It-Like-It-Is Midnight Show, targeted to urban blacks, college students, and working-class women. Although very funny, Ijamama Speaks presents meaningful lessons about rightful living and quality living through dialogues of host Ijamama with her diverse TV guests. Some of her guests include Celibate Dude, Lead Belly, Benevolent Angel, Smart-Ass White Boy, Dr. Fartenstein, PumpDaddy, Spiritual Teacher, Bootylicious Queens, Preacher-Teacher, Little Red Rapper from da Hood, and HoneyBaby.