Santa Claus Heard a Fart


Book Description




Father Christmas Heard a Fart


Book Description

The side-splitting festive follow-up to Old MacDonald Heard a Fart, from hilarious picture book superstar, Olaf Falafel. "Father Christmas heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" Father Christmas is getting ready to deliver the presents - but he keeps getting distracted by some VERY rude noises! Who keeps FARTING?! Could such a big noise actually be coming from someone rather small...' More windy fun is in store in this brilliant picture book by the sensational Olaf Falafel. Featuring helpful do-it-yourself instructions so you can fart along to your heart's content and drive your family nuts during the holidays, it's set to be the ultimate stocking filler for Christmas! Fans of The Dinosaur That Pooped series will love this tongue-in-cheek Christmas tale. Perfect for ages 4 and up.




I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus


Book Description

“One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping...he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice....




Old MacDonald Heard a Fart


Book Description

"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.




When Santa Fell to Earth


Book Description

A crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews




Being Santa Claus


Book Description

A veteran Santa reveals heartwarming true stories and lessons from his twenty-year career spreading Christmas magic. With the holiday shopping season beginning earlier each year, more than ever. Americans are struggling to remember the true meaning of Christmas. And who better to deliver the gift of Christmas inspiration than a man who has spent the last two decades playing Santa? Sal Lizard was in his twenties when his beard and hair turned completely white. Today he appears everywhere from malls and parades to schools and hospitals. And— from his custom-made red velvet suits to the mistletoe that hangs from the rearview mirror in his Santa-mobile—he is Santa Claus three hundred and sixty-five days a year. In Being Santa Claus Sal reflects on his experiences with both children and adults including: Christmas magic is all around us: We don’t always see it, but it is there, shaping and enriching our lives. Sometimes you need to go that extra mile:Santa Claus is the one person who can’t even use a blizzard as an excuse not to honor his commitments, and Sal teaches adults the importance of always showing up for our children. Even a small child can make a big difference: Sal has met some impressive children over the years, and he’s learned that you don’t need to be a grown-up to make an impact on the world around you. In Being Santa Claus Sal shares these lessons, along with often heartwarming, occasionally heartbreaking, and sometimes downright hysterical stories from his twenty-year career as Santa.




Mickey's Fight


Book Description

I wasn’t dreaming; I was visiting. I had a unicorn race with Jesus, Mary, and Jesus’ dad. Mick’s father, Mark, was stunned to hear the words from his son, who was battling cancer. He posted the story on Facebook—allowing people to intimately step inside their lives. After his son’s diagnosis, Mark had doubts and was even angry, but God stood close to him and led his family across the country seeking treatments banned in some places. Jesus gave him and his wife, Rachel, the strength to do whatever it took to save their boy. The Macholls’ need to help their son also ignited a desire to promote change and educate the world about the ineffectiveness of conventional medicine versus integrative care. They seek to spark a movement that will give parents a choice and provide hope after a grim diagnosis. The stakes for Mark and Rachel couldn’t be higher: their young son’s life. With candor, they share the ups and downs they went through during a struggle that ultimately brought them closer to God—and each other.




Ellen Foster (Oprah's Book Club)


Book Description

"Filled with lively humor, compassion, and intimacy." —Alice Hoffman, The New York Times Book Review "When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy." With that opening sentence we enter the childhood world of one of the most appealing young heroines in contemporary fiction. Her courage, her humor, and her wisdom are unforgettable as she tells her own story with stunning honesty and insight. An Oprah Book Club selection, this powerful novel has become an American classic. Winner of the American Academy of Arts and Letters' Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction and the Ernest Hemingway Foundation's Citation for Fiction.




The World Needs More Purple People


Book Description

#1 New York Times bestseller! Actress, producer, and parent Kristen Bell (The Good Place, Veronica Mars, Frozen) and creative director and parent Benjamin Hart have a new challenge for you and your kids: become a purple person by embracing what makes YOU special while finding common ground with those around you. What is a purple person? Great question. I mean, really great! Because purple people always ask really great questions. They bring their family, friends, and communities together, and they speak up for what’s right. They are kind and hardworking, and they love to laugh (especially at Grandpa’s funny noises)! A purple person is an everyday superhero! How do you become one? That’s the fun part! Penny Purple will lead you through the steps. Get ready to be silly, exercise your curiosity, use your voice, and be inspired. Looking to reach beyond the political divide of red and blue, Kristen Bell and Benjamin Hart have created a hilarious and joyous read-aloud that offers a wonderful message about embracing the things that bring us together as humans. This book will inspire a whole generation to paint the world purple!




Old MacDonald Heard a Fart


Book Description