The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs


Book Description

At Edinburgh's Department of Environmental Health, hard-drinking, womanising officer Danny Skinner wants to uncover secrets: 'the bedroom secrets of the master chefs', secrets he believes might just help him understand his self-destructive impulses. But the arrival of the virginal, model-railway enthusiast Brian Kibby at the department provokes an uncharacteristic response in Skinner, and threatens to throw his mission off course. Consumed by loathing for his nemesis, Skinner enacts a curse, and when Kibby contracts a horrific and debilitating mystery virus, Skinner understands that their destinies are supernaturally bound, and he is faced with a terrible dilemma.




If You Liked School, You'll Love Work


Book Description

Irvine Welsh, the author of Trainspotting, is up to his old tricks with his new work of transgressive short fiction. Irvine Welsh's first short-story collection since his debut work The Acid House presents five extraordinary stories, which remind us that he is a master of the short form, a brilliant storyteller, and—unarguably—one of today's funniest and most subversive writers. In "Rattlesnakes" three young Americans, lost in the desert, are accosted by two armed Mexicans. A Korean chef and a Chicago socialite find themselves connected through the disappearance of a pooch named Toto in "The D.O.G.S. of Lincoln Park." And in the title story, Mickey Baker—an ex-pat English bar owner living on the Costa Brava—tries to keep all of his balls in the air: maintaining his barmaid's weight at the sexual maximum, attending to the youthful Persephone, and dodging his ex-wife and Spanish gangsters. In typically Welshian fashion, the characters and settings are anything but typical. These stories will make you laugh and gasp.




The Digested Read


Book Description

Literary ombudsman John Crace never met an important book he didn't like to deconstruct. From Salman Rushdie to John Grisham, Crace retells the big books in just 500 bitingly satirical words, pointing his pen at the clunky plots, stylistic tics and pretensions of Big Ideas, as he turns publishers' golden dream books into dross.




Joe Beef: Surviving the Apocalypse


Book Description

A new cookbook/survival guide/love letter to Montreal for these apocalyptic times, from the James Beard Award–nominated culinary adventurists and proprietors of the beloved restaurant, Joe Beef. “The first Joe Beef cookbook changed forever what a cookbook could be. Anything that came after had to take it into account. Now, with this latest and even more magnificent beast, the rogue princes of Canadian cuisine and hospitality show us the way out of the numbing, post-apocalyptic restaurant Hell of pretentiousness and mediocrity that threatens to engulf us all. It makes us believe that the future is shiny, bright, beautiful, delicious—and probably Québécois. This book will change your life.” —Anthony Bourdain It’s the end of the world as we know it. Or not. Either way, you want Joe Beef: Surviving the Apocalypse in your bunker and/or kitchen. In their much-loved first cookbook, Frédéric Morin, David McMillan, and Meredith Erickson introduced readers to the art of living the Joe Beef way. Now, they’re back with another deeply personal, refreshingly unpretentious collection of more than 150 new recipes, some taken directly from the menus of Fred and Dave’s acclaimed Montreal restaurants, others from summers spent on Laurentian lakes and Sunday dinners at home. Think Watercress Soup with Trout Quenelles, Artichokes Bravas, and seasonal variations on Pot-au-Feu—alongside Smoked Meat Croquettes, a Tater Tot Galette, and Squash Sticky Buns. Also included are instructions for making your own soap and cough drops, not to mention an epic 16-page fold-out gatefold with recipes and guidance for stocking a cellar with apocalyptic essentials (Canned Bread, Pickled Pork Butt, and Smoked Apple Cider Vinegar) for throwing the most sought-after in-bunker dinner party Filled with recipes, reflections, and ramblings, in this book you’ll find chapters devoted to the Québécois tradition of celebrating Christmas in July, the magic of public television, and Fred and Dave’s unique take on barbecue (Burnt-End Bourguignon, Cassoulet Rapide), as well as ruminations on natural wine and gluten-free cooking, and advice on how children should behave at dinner. Whether you’re holing up for a zombie holocaust or just cooking at home, Joe Beef is a book about doing it yourself, about making it on your own, and about living—or at least surviving—in style.




Trainspotting


Book Description

"The best book ever written by man or woman...deserves to sell more copies than the Bible."--Rebel, Inc.




The Beatle Man


Book Description

"It all came back. With a bang. Another one." Danny McColl's career as a Glasgow lawyer doesn't start too well. A broken nose and a trip to the hospital. It will get worse. He doesn't yet realise the havoc his personal search for retribution will unleash. Taking revenge on his assailants, and driven by a need to make up for his part in the death of his alcoholic father, he takes on the Finches, a family of thugs that terrorise his new neighbours. In doing so he reveals the truth behind the mysterious life of The Beatle Man with tragic, violent consequences...




The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins


Book Description

When Lucy Brennan, a Miami Beach personal-fitness trainer, disarms an apparently crazed gunman, the police and the breaking-news cameras are not far behind. Within hours, Lucy becomes a hero. The solitary eye-witness, the depressed and overweight Lena Sorenson, thrilled by Lucy's heroism and decisiveness, becomes obsessed with the trainer and enrolls as a client at her Bodysculpt gym. It quickly becomes clear that Lena is more interested in Lucy's body than her own, and a budding fatal attraction takes hold. However, it's when Lucy imprisons Lena, and can't stop thinking about the sex lives of Siamese twins, that the real problems start. In Lucy and Lena, Irvine Welsh has created two of his most memorable female protagonists, and one of the most bizarre, sadomasochistic folie à deux in contemporary fiction. The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins taps into two great obsessions of our time--how we look and where we live--and tells a story so subversive and dark it blacks out the Florida sun.




Skagboys


Book Description

Chronicles the misadventures of Mark Renton and his friends as they cope with economic uncertainties, family problems, drug use, and the opposite sex in 1980s Edinburgh.




Ecstasy


Book Description

A bestsellig romance author suffers a paralyzing stroke and her philandering husband wonders how this will affect his gambling and whoring budget; two young lovers must come to terms with their chemically induced deformity; Lloyd from Leith transfigures his passion for an unhappily married woman. These three tales confirm Irvine Welsh's position as a master of the "chemical" romance genre.




Babylon Heights


Book Description

In 1935 MGM Studios embarked on a movie adaptation of L. Frank Baum's 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz'. The production called for the casting of many dwarfs to play Munchkins of the mythical Land of Oz, and the studio began recruiting "small persons" from all over the world. During production, rumors spread around Hollywood of wild Munchkin sex orgies, drunken behavior, and general dwarf debauchery. More sinisterly, a Munchkin is said to have committed suicide by hanging himself on the set during filming-what appears to be a small human body is clearly visible hanging from a tree in the Tin Woodman scene. It is an unsubstantiated claim that has passed into Hollywood legend. Set in a hotel room in Culver City, California, ' Babylon Heights' is Irvine Welsh and Dean Cavanagh's scabrous and hilarious imagining of what could, very possibly, have led to that dwarf suicide.