The Indispensable Guide to Clean Humor and Wit


Book Description

Over the fifty years of his speaking career, Mit has compiled a collection of over 11,000 jokes, one liners, puns, and philosophical witticisms. This treasure of hilarity and advice, aids in making a point, has been specifically selected for public engagements and is non offensive or profane. Whether you are a public speaker, businessman, salesman, internet user or engaged in casual everyday communication, the appropriate use of good clean humor and wit can increase the affinity between you and another and bring about better communication and understanding. Indispensable Guide to Clean Humor and Wit is a quick reference text, categorized by topic, to help you successfully communicate your message, meet others and become friends through the use of laughter.




Cinder


Book Description

Queen Levana is a ruler who uses her 'glamour' to gain power. but long before she crossed paths with Cinder, Scarlet, and Cress, Levana lived a very different story - a story that has never been told ... until now.




The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires


Book Description

“This funny and fresh take on a classic tale manages to comment on gender roles, racial disparities, and white privilege all while creeping me all the way out. So good.”—Zakiya Dalila Harris, author of The Other Black Girl Steel Magnolias meets Dracula in this New York Times best-selling horror novel about a women's book club that must do battle with a mysterious newcomer to their small Southern town. Bonus features: • Reading group guide for book clubs • Hand-drawn map of Mt. Pleasant • Annotated true-crime reading list by Grady Hendrix • And more! Patricia Campbell’s life has never felt smaller. Her husband is a workaholic, her teenage kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she’s always a step behind on her endless to-do list. The only thing keeping her sane is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime. At these meetings they’re as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are about their own families. One evening after book club, Patricia is viciously attacked by an elderly neighbor, bringing the neighbor's handsome nephew, James Harris, into her life. James is well traveled and well read, and he makes Patricia feel things she hasn’t felt in years. But when children on the other side of town go missing, their deaths written off by local police, Patricia has reason to believe James Harris is more of a Bundy than a Brad Pitt. The real problem? James is a monster of a different kind—and Patricia has already invited him in. Little by little, James will insinuate himself into Patricia’s life and try to take everything she took for granted—including the book club—but she won’t surrender without a fight in this blood-soaked tale of neighborly kindness gone wrong.




Home Comforts


Book Description

A classic bestselling resource for every household, Home Comforts helps you manage everyday chores, find creative solutions to domestic dilemmas, and enhance the experience of life at home. “Home Comforts is to the house what Joy of Cooking is to food.” —USA TODAY Home Comforts is an engaging and comprehensive book about housekeeping. It is a lively and readable guide for both beginners and experts in all the domestic arts. From keeping surfaces free of germs, watering plants, removing stains, folding a fitted sheet, cleaning china, tuning a piano, lighting a fire, setting the dining room table—this guide covers everything that people might want to do for themselves in their homes. Further topics include: making up a bed with hospital corners, expert recommendations for safe food storage, reading care labels (and sometimes carefully disregarding them), keeping your home free of dust mites and other allergens, this is a practical, good-humored, philosophical guidebook to the art and science of household management.




Feel this Book


Book Description

"We are professionals. Though not specifically professionals in the field of 'psychology' or 'psychiatry, ' we are both highly paid actors and comedians, and as such know more about neuroses than you could possibly imagine. . . ." If you're tired of following the rules, dating people from Mars and Venus, gorging on chicken soup for your soul, or getting lost on a road less traveled, then it's time you listened to Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo, two people who actually sweat the small stuff . . . because, let's face it, if your body doesn't sweat, it dies--much like Ben and Janeane's train wreck of a relationship many years ago. From that experience came wisdom and self-reproachment. Now, in Feel This Book, they tackle the tough questions: - Is love necessary? - How can I make money off my spouse? - Compassion--is it overrated? - Why can't I sleep around and still love you? - How many times have you told your significant other that you would pick up something for dinner on your way home from the office, and next thing you knew you're at an all-night eatery with some hermaphrodite you found on the strip, having eggs and bacon at three in the morning? Through helpful tips, completely fabricated case studies, the six laws of spiritual success, the fourteen by-laws of spiritual awakening, and the twenty-three addendums and sub-laws regarding anything spiritual and successful, Stiller and Garofalo teach such valuable lessons as: - When it comes to family, grasp onto the blame and don't let go - Make the connection . . . between Deepak and Tupac - Your mother lied; looks are everything, and the sooner you submit and stop denying the inevitable, the happieryou will be - And much more! Feel This Book. Let it be your path, your compass, your sensible shoes, your Frappuccino(R). It's what self-help was meant to be.




A Confederacy of Dunces


Book Description

Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).




Good Clean Fun


Book Description

After two New York Times bestsellers, Nick Offerman—woodworker, actor, comedian, and co-host of NBC’s crafting competition series Making It—returns with the subject for which he’s known best—his incredible real-life woodshop. Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-god hard day’s work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff—kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, mustache combs, even cedar-strip canoes. Now Nick and his ragtag crew of champions want to share their experience of working at the Woodshop, tell you all about their passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teach you how to make a handful of their most popular projects along the way. This book takes readers behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching them to make their own projects and besotting them with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves. In these pages you will find a variety of projects for every skill level, with personal, easy-to-follow instructions by the OWS woodworkers themselves; and, what’s more, this tutelage is augmented by mouth-watering color photos (Nick calls it "wood porn"). You will also find writings by Nick, offering recipes for both comestibles and mirth, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery. Whether you’ve been working in your own shop for years, or if holding this stack of compressed wood pulp is as close as you’ve ever come to milling lumber, or even if you just love Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom, you’ll find Good Clean Fun full of useful, illuminating, and entertaining information.




How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind


Book Description

Bring your home out of the mess it’s in—and learn how to keep it under control! Housekeeping expert Dana K. White shares reality-based cleaning and organizing techniques that will help you learn what really works. Do you experience heart palpitations at the sound of an unexpected doorbell? Do you stare in bewilderment at your messy home, wondering how in the world it got this way again? You’re not alone. But there is hope for you and your home. Managing your home isn’t an all-or-nothing approach, and Dana has broken down the most critical things that you'll need to do to keep up with the housework. With understanding, honesty, and her trademark humor, Dana shares her field-tested strategies including: Exactly where to start to tame the chaos Which habits deserve your focus and will make the most impact How to gain traction in your quest for a manageable home Practical tips you can implement and immediately to declutter huge amount of stuff with minimal emotional drama Cleaning your house is not a one-time project—it’s a series of ongoing and daily decisions. Start learning Dana’s reality-based cleaning and organizing techniques—and see how they really work! Praise from Readers: “This book lays out the hard truths of a clean house but in a way that doesn’t make me feel silly for not having embraced them before.” “Dana leads you step-by-step with the heart of a woman who has been there and struggled with the same issues you are currently struggling with. Really, this is a must read for anyone who wants to learn the secrets that all those organized types seem to know.” “I felt like a failure already. Did I really need to read yet another book full of tips and tricks that would leave me feeling worse? From the first page, I was put at ease.” Get ready to say goodbye to the stacks of dirty dishes crowding your kitchen counters, conquer the never-ending piles of laundry, and stop tripping over clutter on your living room floor as Dana helps you discover what works for you, for your unique personality, and in your unique home.




The Essential Guide to Intellectual Property


Book Description

A broad introduction to the changing roles of intellectual property within society Intellectual property is one of the most confusing--and widely used--dimensions of the law. By granting exclusive rights to publish, manufacture, copy, or distribute information and technology, IP laws shape our cultures, our industries, and our politics in countless ways, with consequences for everyone, including artists, inventors, entrepreneurs, and citizens at large. In this engaging, accessible study, Aram Sinnreich uncovers what's behind current debates and what the future holds for copyrights, patents, and trademarks.




The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad


Book Description

A practical guide for modern-day parenting geared towards stay-at-home dads, offering advice on everything from learning to cook and clean with children, to dealing with mental health and relationships and addressing male loneliness, with the easygoing perspective that dads can use their natural talents to parent any way that they choose. The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad manual takes the best advice and wisdom from a dads' group, and puts it into a format to help new stay-at-home fathers. Characterized by actionable and direct advice to fathers, the book takes on parenting from a father's point of view and encourages dads to use their natural talents to become a better parent. That advice is further bolstered by an additional 57 other dads who also give advice. All this advice is framed by the author's personal stories, which help the reader connect with the content and drives the advice home. This is a book that takes on day-to-day parenting, not just as a stay-at-home dad--working fathers could benefit from this book as much as at-home dads.