The Splat Conspiracy


Book Description

Being a 73 year old man who was raised during the great depression I have seen enormous changes in America. There has been dramatic changes in technology, human rights, political philosophy (and engineering) and social values. I have written a 75000 word story about a college professor named Adam Solomon who after winning a large sum of money, decides to initiate a bazaar plan designed to influence the national political agenda. Adam's goal is to prevent any further erosion of wholesome morality and America's constitutional liberties. To accomplish this Adam assemblies a group of highly skilled and experienced assassins. Their assignment is to surgically remove specific individuals who have become an unwelcome influence by endorsing ideas that are contrary to the American constitution. After several dozen high profile killing's a fire-storm ensues across the nation. On the one hand thousands cry for justice and a stop to the mayhem. Yet, others, the disenfranchised, the poor, the malcontents, neo-nazis and some various kooks applaud and support the activities. Some want to join up with and take part in Adam's program. As the story builds the situation turns into a national crisis involving all of law enforcement and the President of the United States. During the crisis Adam finds himself drawn into a close relationship with the only female assassin. They have a brief sexual experience but, Adam finally succumbs to the charms of his beautiful young secretary. A sub plot develops when a program supporter discovers the existence of an underworld child pornography ring centered in Guatemala. After much persuasion Adam and his team raid the Guatemala children's camp freeing 200 enslaved children. They are sent to a Christian care center and later return to a normal life. Adam works through the plot with a good friend called the Captain. The Captain is a veteran of Desert Storm and though he has a dirty mouth he has a good heart and great military skills. Adam's other good friend is a man they call Shakespear. He has a proclivity to speak using only lines that rhyme sometimes causing problems. Adam becomes friends with one of the assassins code named the Jackal. He's very dangerous and useful. The story ends with an unusual twist. Does Adam and his friends receive justice? Do they get captured? What will their punishment consist of? Will Adam and his devoted secretary get married? Could these event actually take place? J.Joseph Higgins




The 117-Story Treehouse


Book Description

New York Times-bestselling team Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton invite readers to come hang out with them in their 117-Story Treehouse—the ninth book in the illustrated chapter book series filled with Andy and Terry's signature slapstick humor! Andy and Terry live in a 117-story treehouse. (It used to be a 104-story treehouse, but it just keeps growing!) It now has a pajama-party room, a water-ski park filled with flesh-eating piranhas, an Underpants Museum, a giant-fighting-robot arena, and the Door of Doom (don’t open it or you’ll be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY DOOMED!). For as long as Andy and Terry have been writing books together, Andy has always been the narrator and Terry has always been the illustrator. But when Terry tries to prove that he can narrate as well as draw, the story goes completely out of control and the Story Police arrive to arrest the whole treehouse team for crimes against storytelling! Andy, Terry and Jill go on the run, but how long can they evade the Story Police and stay out of Story Jail? Praise for Andy Griffiths and the Treehouse series: "Anarchic absurdity at its best. . . . Denton's manic cartooning captures every twist and turn in hilarious detail." —Publishers Weekly, starred review, on The 13-Story Treehouse "Will appeal to fans of Jeff Kinney and Dav Pilkey. . . . The wonderfully random slapstick humor is tailor-made for reluctant readers. . . . A treat for all." —Booklist on The 13-Story Treehouse Read the whole series! The 13-Story Treehouse The 26-Story Treehouse The 39-Story Treehouse The 52-Story Treehouse The 65-Story Treehouse The 78-Story Treehouse The 91-Story Treehouse The 104-Story Treehouse The 117-Story Treehouse




Terry's Dumb Dot Story


Book Description

Meet Andy and Terry. They make books together in the world's coolest treehouse! They've got loads of different storeys in their home in the sky: you can find a marshmallow machine, the world's most powerful whirlpool, a penguin ice-skating rink, a tank full of sharks and a human pinball machine, among many other things. But none of these help them agree on their special story for World Book Day – and it's not just Mr Big Nose keeping an eye on them now, but the story police too! Terry's Dumb Dot Story is a special World Book Day Treehouse adventure from Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton, told through a combination of laugh-out-loud text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!




Travelers' Tales, American Southwest


Book Description

With its vast vistas, splendid sunsets, and rich history, the American Southwest has always inspired superb writing. "Travelers' Tales Southwest" features a choice selection of some of the best by Tony Hillerman, David Roberts, Barbara Kingsolver, Alex Schoumatoff, Terry Tempest Williams, Edward Abbey, and others. Maps.




Nextinction


Book Description

The Boids are back in town ... The follow-up to the award-winning EXTINCT BOIDS, this book features more of the incredible art of cartoonist Ralph Steadman. This time the focus is not on the birds that are gone, but the ones that there's still time to save. These are the 192 Critically Endangered birds on the IUCN Red List, species such as the Giant Ibis, the Kakapo, the Sumatran Ground-cuckoo and the iconic Spoon-billed Sandpiper – these, along with a number of classic Steadman creations such as the Unsociable Lapwing, are the NEARLY-EXTINCT BOIDS. Woids are again by author, conservationist and film-maker Ceri Levy. Together, Ceri and Ralph are THE GONZOVATIONISTS.




Selected Poems


Book Description

“ a philosophical thread through the underpinnings of one man’s outlook on the mind’s journey” “a voice so wrangled, you can almost hear the tone and emphasis give shape to meaning”




The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English


Book Description

Reviews of the two-volume New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, 2005: The king is dead. Long live the king! The old Partridge is not really dead; it remains the best record of British slang antedating 1945 Now, however, the preferred source for information about English slang of the past 60 years is the New Partridge. James Rettig, Booklist, American Library Association Most slang dictionaries are no better than momgrams or a rub of the brush, put together by shmegegges looking to make some moola. The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, on the other hand, is the wee babes. Ian Sansom, The Guardian The Concise New Partridge presents, for the first time, all the slang terms from the New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English in a single volume. With over 60,000 entries from around the English-speaking world, the Concise gives you the language of beats, hipsters, Teddy Boys, mods and rockers, hippies, pimps, druggies, whores, punks, skinheads, ravers, surfers, Valley girls, dudes, pill-popping truck drivers, hackers, rappers and more. The Concise New Partridge is a spectacular resource infused with humour and learning its rude, its delightful, and its a prize for anyone with a love of language.







Splattery


Book Description

Meet Mawdy. Mawdy's one sticky fella. And the star. Of this felonious novella. He likes to steal things. Or so it seems. He's got a degree. In Kleptology. Believe you me. Mawdy's been in The Joint. Two times. And he doesn't want to make it three. That's the hat factory. Where he studiously. Studied. The Big Books. Cutting up. The Big Words. Fun. Da. Men. Tally. With Doler, the old guy. His mentoring mentor. Ever so elementarily. Mawdy hates The Mayor. But he loves the ladies. As all is fair. With the right amount. Of savoir-faire. He's paid his dues. With a hat that's black. And one that's blue. He has some Momma issues. And a few enemies. But most importantly. Mawdy. Our word-proficient. Visionary. Is down for the cause. Con. Se. Quently. Carrying the water. For The Cheese. A strikingly original poetic narrative, Splattery illustrates the timeless story of a person's internal struggle with their place in the world. Mawdy works for The Cheese, the overweight crime boss who runs the eastern section of the city. Being employed by the most powerful man in town has its privileges, but is Mawdy the master of his destiny or just a victim of an inescapable fate?




The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English


Book Description

Booklist Top of the List Reference Source The heir and successor to Eric Partridge's brilliant magnum opus, The Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English, this two-volume New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English is the definitive record of post WWII slang. Containing over 60,000 entries, this new edition of the authoritative work on slang details the slang and unconventional English of the English-speaking world since 1945, and through the first decade of the new millennium, with the same thorough, intense, and lively scholarship that characterized Partridge's own work. Unique, exciting and, at times, hilariously shocking, key features include: unprecedented coverage of World English, with equal prominence given to American and British English slang, and entries included from Australia, New Zealand, Canada, India, South Africa, Ireland, and the Caribbean emphasis on post-World War II slang and unconventional English published sources given for each entry, often including an early or significant example of the term’s use in print. hundreds of thousands of citations from popular literature, newspapers, magazines, movies, and songs illustrating usage of the headwords dating information for each headword in the tradition of Partridge, commentary on the term’s origins and meaning New to this edition: A new preface noting slang trends of the last five years Over 1,000 new entries from the US, UK and Australia New terms from the language of social networking Many entries now revised to include new dating, new citations from written sources and new glosses The New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English is a spectacular resource infused with humour and learning – it’s rude, it’s delightful, and it’s a prize for anyone with a love of language.