Uncle Si the Christmas Elf


Book Description

Duck the halls! This ebook starring Uncle Si of Duck Dynasty® captures the true message of Christmas and makes for a perfect present—to either give or receive! Uncle Si plays the part of an elf in order to help Santa Claus to save one little boy’s Christmas. This humorous, heartwarming picture book is told in verse that’s true to Uncle Si’s unique way of spinning a tale.




Si-cology 1


Book Description

You know him from the hit A&E® show Duck Dynasty®—now you can enjoy Uncle Si’s tall tales, crazy exploits, and quirky one-liners in one raucous collection! “These hands are so fast, I can get your wallet before you know it. In a minute, you’ll be standing there buck naked and won’t know what hit you!” “Look here—if it wasn’t for my tripped knee, I’d be playing in the NBA today.” “Hey, Jack!” Any of these sound familiar? If they do—or even if they don’t—you’re in for a good laugh. The brother of patriarch Phil Robertson, Uncle Si has a limitless supply of stories about his childhood, duck hunting adventures, his days in Vietnam, and everything in between. Now the best of those tales are gathered into this roaring book. And as Uncle Si recounts his outlandish tales, he weaves in an up-close look into his personal life. You’ll learn about his childhood as the youngest son in the Robertson family, his college days, and how he came to use a green Tupperware cup for his ever-present tea.. And in many of these never-before-heard tales, Si openly talks about his wife Christine and two children, Scott and Trasa—who are never seen and rarely mentioned on the show. Sure to please die-hard fans and curious newbies alike, Si’s one-liners are presented alongside fun, expressive photographs, as well as photos of his family. As you learn about his behind-the-scenes life, this smattering of zany stories will have you falling over with laughter and retelling them to all your friends.




Si-renity


Book Description

"Beginning where Si-cology 1 ended, Uncle Si gets much more personal as he talks about his life on the road as one of [Duck dynasty's] favorites, and how he feels about life after the show"--




Letters From Father Christmas


Book Description

Every December an envelope bearing a stamp from the North Pole would arrive for J.R.R. Tolkien’s children. Inside would be a letter in a strange, spidery handwriting and a beautiful colored drawing or painting. The letters were from Father Christmas. They told wonderful tales of life at the North Pole: how the reindeer got loose and scattered presents all over the place; how the accident-prone North Polar Bear climbed the North Pole and fell through the roof of Father Christmas’s house into the dining room; how he broke the Moon into four pieces and made the Man in it fall into the back garden; how there were wars with the troublesome horde of goblins who lived in the caves beneath the house, and many more. No reader, young or old, can fail to be charmed by Tolkien’s inventiveness in this classic holiday treat.




People I Want to Punch in the Throat


Book Description

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear




The Ruin of Kings


Book Description

A Kirkus Best of Science Fiction and Fantasy pick for 2019! A Library Journal Best Book of 2019! An NPR Favorite Book of 2019! "Everything epic fantasy should be: rich, cruel, gorgeous, brilliant, enthralling and deeply, deeply satisfying. I loved it."—Lev Grossman, author of The Magicians When destiny calls, there's no fighting back. Kihrin grew up in the slums of Quur, a thief and a minstrel's son raised on tales of long-lost princes and magnificent quests. When he is claimed against his will as the missing son of a treasonous prince, Kihrin finds himself at the mercy of his new family's ruthless power plays and political ambitions. Practically a prisoner, Kihrin discovers that being a long-lost prince is nothing like what the storybooks promised. The storybooks have lied about a lot of other things, too: dragons, demons, gods, prophecies, and how the hero always wins. Then again, maybe he isn't the hero after all. For Kihrin is not destined to save the world. He's destined to destroy it. Jenn Lyons begins the Chorus of Dragons series with The Ruin of Kings, an epic fantasy novel about a man who discovers his fate is tied to the future of an empire. "It's impossible not to be impressed with the ambition of it all . . . a larger-than-life adventure story about thieves, wizards, assassins and kings to dwell in for a good long while."—The New York Times A Chorus of Dragons 1: The Ruin of Kings 2: The Name of All Things 3: The Memory of Souls




Rip Van Winkle, and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow


Book Description

A man who sleeps for twenty years in the Catskill Mountains wakes to a much-changed world.




Everything's Better with a Beard


Book Description

The Duck Commander family knows there’s nothing that a beard can’t make better—or funnier—in this laugh-out-loud photographic picture book for the youngest Duck Dynasty® fans. The Duck Commander family is known for their long, flowing beards. In this photographic picture book with whimsical, rhyming text, objects both animate and inanimate are given the Duck Commander family treatment—with beards! Whether it’s a dog, a truck, or a duck, one thing’s for sure: Everything’s better with a beard!




Where the Wild Things Are


Book Description

Max is sent to bed without supper and imagines sailing away to the land of Wild Things,where he is made king.




The Children's Book


Book Description

From the renowned author of Possession, The Children’s Book is the absorbing story of the close of what has been called the Edwardian summer: the deceptively languid, blissful period that ended with the cataclysmic destruction of World War I. In this compelling novel, A.S. Byatt summons up a whole era, revealing that beneath its golden surface lay tensions that would explode into war, revolution and unbelievable change — for the generation that came of age before 1914 and, most of all, for their children. The novel centres around Olive Wellwood, a fairy tale writer, and her circle, which includes the brilliant, erratic craftsman Benedict Fludd and his apprentice Phillip Warren, a runaway from the poverty of the Potteries; Prosper Cain, the soldier who directs what will become the Victoria and Albert Museum; Olive’s brother-in-law Basil Wellwood, an officer of the Bank of England; and many others from every layer of society. A.S. Byatt traces their lives in intimate detail and moves between generations, following the children who must choose whether to follow the roles expected of them or stand up to their parents’ “porcelain socialism.” Olive’s daughter Dorothy wishes to become a doctor, while her other daughter, Hedda, wants to fight for votes for women. Her son Tom, sent to an upper-class school, wants nothing more than to spend time in the woods, tracking birds and foxes. Her nephew Charles becomes embroiled with German-influenced revolutionaries. Their portraits connect the political issues at the heart of nascent feminism and socialism with grave personal dilemmas, interlacing until The Children’s Book becomes a perfect depiction of an entire world. Olive is a fairy tale writer in the era of Peter Pan and Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind In the Willows, not long after Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. At a time when children in England suffered deprivation by the millions, the concept of childhood was being refined and elaborated in ways that still influence us today. For each of her children, Olive writes a special, private book, bound in a different colour and placed on a shelf; when these same children are ferried off into the unremitting destruction of the Great War, the reader is left to wonder who the real children in this novel are. The Children’s Book is an astonishing novel. It is an historical feat that brings to life an era that helped shape our own as well as a gripping, personal novel about parents and children, life’s most painful struggles and its richest pleasures. No other writer could have imagined it or created it.