Book Description

Welcome to Horridscopes. This book is a 2020 week-to-view planner with a single horoscope per spread. Each one of these horrible horoscopes deliver a sweet little parcel of nasty honesty, direct to your life, courtesy of one mean little psychic medium. Careful now, these horoscopes are not for the fainthearted. Do you ever wish the zodiac would stop pussy-footing around and actually tell you the damn truth, regardless of how ugly that truth is? Perhaps you just want some advice from the universe that isn't all mysteries and love. Or, there'a possibility that you just want to buy a gag gift for your friend for Christmas. For all of these options, there are Horridscopes. What are Horridscopes? Frankly put, they're mean. Horridscopes aren't your usual star sign predictions. They're not going to warm your heart with promises of tall dark strangers entering your life on a horse (unless we're talking about one of the horsemen). They're going to warn you that you're acting like an ass, that the outfit you wore to work today just isn't very cute, and that you might be being followed by the CIA. If a dead bird falls on your head, it's probably predicted in your Horridscope. If a bouquet of roses turns up on your doorstep, we probably didn't see that coming. Who writes Horridscopes? These horoscope predictions are channeled as all starsign predictions are, through the universe. Only, for these, we pick a time when the universe is like, super grumpy. Think like 6am universe, where the universe next door felt the need to mow its lawn again, waking everyone up. And then our universe gets out of bed and stubs it's toe. Yeah, we channel that universe. Who should buy this book? If you're an ass. If you're friend's an ass. If you want a planner for 2020, and are an ass. The possibilities are endless. But basically, be an ass, otherwise this book might not be right for you. Oh, and best not to be a child - they don't deal well with the ugly truths of the universe. Specs: 134 printed pages Week to View planner with space for tasks and notes Calendar view for the year, and one for every month Horoscope, week number, and dates are on every planner spread (53 total) White paper, easy to write on Cute matte cover with soft spine