You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win


Book Description

Understand what your teenage daughter really means—and learn to use your arguments to strengthen your bond with her. Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.




Being 14


Book Description

SHORTLISTED FOR NON-FICTION BOOK OF THE YEAR, ABIA AWARDS 2018 Is your daughter 14? Are you struggling to know what's going on inside her head? Are you worried? This is the book that can help you understand how she's feeling, what she's thinking and what you need to do to help her navigate her tricky teens to become a fabulous woman. BEING 14 gives a voice to every teen girl in Australia. Madonna King has interviewed 200 14-year-old girls across the country, talked to successful school principals, psychologists, CEOs, police, guidance and neuroscientists to reveal the social, psychological and physical challenges every 14-year-old girl is facing today. -How much independence do they need? -What is the power of a friendship group? -How do you help build self-confidence? -Why the obsession with selfies, social media and FOMO? -How are parents unknowingly making life so much harder for them? Overwhelmingly, these young girls - on the brink of womanhood - struggle to tell their parents how they feel. That's why BEING 14 gives you the answers you are looking for. It's your daughter, talking to you. And her hope, beyond anything, is that you will listen. 'valuable for any parents of teens or pre-teens' SUNDAY TIMES




Passing Judgment: Praise and Blame in Everyday Life


Book Description

Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self. Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn’t be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your relationships? “Keenly perceptive” (The Atlantic) psychologist and writer Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships, and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self. Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise, and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant’s dependence, we continue to monitor others’ judgments of us, and we ourselves develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a “judgment meter,” which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, and registers a positive or negative opinion. In Passing Judgment, Apter reveals how interactions between parents and children, within couples, and among friends and colleagues are permeated with praise and blame that range far beyond specific compliments and accusations. Drawing on three decades of research, Apter gives us the tools to learn about our personal needs, goals and values, to manage our biases, to tolerate others’ views, and to make sense of our most powerful, and often confusing, responses to ourselves and to others.




Language Research in Multilingual Settings


Book Description

This book describes the steps undertaken by language researchers to disseminate their findings at sites of practice. It discusses questions that arise from such efforts and provides meaningful, real-life, first-hand accounts of both interactions with practitioners and practitioners’ feedback. The authors use narrative accounts, case studies, and semi-ethnographies of focus groups and workshops to draw a full picture of dissemination, its intricacies, multiple stakeholder interests, reflexivity challenges, and future relevance and responsibility for all parties involved. It is an attempt to fill the gap between the end of research domains and the places of dissemination of research findings, and the book will be of interest to applied linguistics researchers, students and scholars of organisational discourse, and practitioners working in multilingual settings.




Lesbian Family Life, Like the Fingers of a Hand


Book Description

In this book, an array of approaches - first person and theoretical accounts, clinical understandings, qualitative and quantitative research - are brought to bear on controversial or under-discussed topics in lesbian family life. From conception all the way to care for elderly parents, this book takes a fresh look at lesbian family relationships. Topics include: butch/femme couples, infidelity, the psychological meaning of family for lesbians, age-discrepant couples, lesbian nuns as family, Listservs as family, intentional family for aging women, women raising sons, mothers who come out late in life, mothers and children in situations of domestic violence, lack of support for lesbian domestic violence survivors, death of a partner, psychological issues in the use of sperm donors or surrogates, and middle-aged lesbians caring for homophobic elderly parents. Some authors use self psychology and Jungian psychology to describe aspects of family life. The richness and diversity of topics makes it a text on "lesbian lives". Therapists and academics from throughout the U.S. have contributed to this collection. Many lesbian women, as well as teachers (it can be a text) and mental health professionals who work with children, families, couples and elderly will find useful material here. This book was published as a special issue of the Journal of Lesbian Studies.




Adolescence in the 21st Century


Book Description

What is wrong with young people today? This question has captured the concerns of the older generation about the habits and attitudes of the adolescents in their midst. The assumption is that there is indeed something wrong with young people. Even Plato must have rolled his eyes, as he relates his diatribe about the adolescents of Greece. Is the current generation of adolescents less motivated or less focused than their parents? How will they respond to the challenges facing them as they progress to adulthood? When, in fact, do they become adults? Although every generation draws upon their own unique and varied experiences, the speed of our current societal changes has created a very different adolescent passage for contemporary youth than ever before. The world as we know it has changed significantly and because of it, much of today’s youth is decidedly different from their parents. Adolescence itself has shifted dramatically. Young children are displaying adolescent behaviors well before they are ready to act on or understand their meaning, and older adolescents are staying perpetual children. As one writer put it, “the conveyer belt that transported adolescents into adulthood has broken down”. This book provides an interdisciplinary collection of research on the constants and challenges faced by young people today. Failure to launch? Social media? Economic stagnation? For the generation that is coming of age in a post-terrorist world and in the midst of economic upheaval, the challenges might seem insurmountable. However, in this book, scholars from across the academy, from sociology, psychology, education, philosophy, science, and business, explain how the young people today are responding to the constants of growth and change in adolescence and the unique challenges of life in the 21st century.




What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws


Book Description

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws. When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse. What Do You Want From Me? takes a fresh look at the age-old problem of managing conflict with in-laws, offering practical help for dealing with problems that are both immediate (“How do I deal with my in-laws now?”) and strategic (“How can I change the nature of my in-laws’ demands?”). Terri Apter, a psychologist whose books on family dynamics have received international acclaim, draws on nearly two decades of psychological research to pinpoint the sources of tension between in-laws and explore the ways in which we can build healthy relationships with the in-laws in our lives.




Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power


Book Description

An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters. An internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond.




5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, Revised and Expanded Edition


Book Description

From the cradle to college, tell your daughters the truth about life before they believe the culture’s lies. For mothers with girls newborn to eighteen, Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter is simply a must-have book. Youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in their daughters' formative years. To fully address the dynamic social and spiritual issues and influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which are: 1. Don’t let the culture define you 2. Guard your heart 3. Have a little sex respect 4. Childhood is only for a season 5. You are who you’ve been becoming The book also includes questions at the end of each conversation to help facilitate individual or group study.




You're Grounded Forever...But First, Let's Go Shopping


Book Description

Susan Shapiro Barash's provocative new book examines the most difficult challenges any woman faces when raising daughters. Sample chapters include: • What color would you like that Prada bag in? (material indulgence) • Do you need to be eating that? (fixations on food and weight) • Of course you can drink when you're home with me (loose boundaries and rules) • I know she's your friend but... (underestimating female friendships) • I'll just say you aren't feeling well (making excuses) • And much more.