Adult Children of Abusive Parents


Book Description

A history of a childhood abuse is not a life sentence. Here is hope, healing, and a chance to recover the self lost in childhood. Drawing on his extensive work with Adult Children, and on his own experience as a survivor of emotional neglect, therapist Steven Farmer demonstrates that through exercises and journal work, his program can help lead you through grieving your lost childhood, to become your own parent, and integrate the healing aspects of spiritual, physical, and emotional recovery into your adult life.




Liking the Child You Love


Book Description

How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children"




Adult Children of Abusive Parents


Book Description

Adults who have suffered from an abusive childhood often have a difficult time functioning normally and forming meaningful relationships. They grew up in an environment that was considered abnormal by society's standards, so it becomes very hard for them to understand what exactly a normal relationship is. The mental and social effects of emotional abuse are perhaps the most complicated and prevalent. No matter what type of abuse a child suffers from, they will experience some kind of emotional or social consequence as a result. Once the child becomes an adult, these traits or thinking patterns have become second nature and it becomes far more difficult to change. A person's will is at the heart of their ability to change. 'Will' is what controls the human personality. It gives a person permission to express themselves. 'Will' must give them permission to change, in order for reprogramming of the mind to truly work. When a person takes control of their conditioning, they take back the keys to their own destiny. They no longer allow their traumatic past to control their lives or allow others to manipulate them. Recovering from childhood abuse is a long and trying process, but it is one that allows the adult child to finally break free from the fear and anger that once controlled their life. It is possible to lead a happy and fulfilling life if the individual is willing and able to work through their issues and face their fears. From understanding what abuse is and the many forms it takes to family dynamics and reconditioning of the mind, this book will walk the individual in need of healing towards positive restoration and renewal.




Breaking The Bonds Of Adult Child Abuse


Book Description

BREAKING THE BONDS OF ADULT CHILD ABUSE: A BIBLICAL TEXTBOOK ON ABUSIVE NARCISSISTIC FAMILIES, HOW THEY OPERATE, AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM ADULT CHILD ABUSE *The Only Form of Abuse still tolerated, accepted and condoned in our society. *The Only Form of Abuse in which it is considered okay for a competent adult to be controlled, exploited, or damaged by someone else. *The Only Form of Abuse in which the victim is expected to continue suffering indefinitely, criticized for trying to protect herself, judged for escaping from her abuser, and openly discouraged from standing up for herself, talking about it, or revealing the abuse to others. Where do folks get the idea that Christians have to be meek and mild, silently enduring mistreatment, tolerating anything anybody else does, and timidly standing by while abusers trample all over them and other innocent victims? Since when is it a sin to take a stand and speak out against evil? This is what our abusers want us to believe, and it is nothing but misconceptions and lies. Do you know that God wants us to confront people who do evil? That he tells us to have nothing further to do with those who will not listen to rebuke? That there is no biblical requirement to forgive the unrepentant? In this book, you will learn about family abusers and their Silent Partners, why they abuse us and why we let them, setting and enforcing limits, godly confrontation, The Law of Sowing and Reaping and letting abusers suffer the Natural Consequences of their own behavior, how to tell if a comment is really a criticism, family jealousy and how to detect if a relative is jealous of you, recognizing and cutting ties with reprobates, improving your family holidays, how to forgive and what forgiveness really means, and what Jesus would REALLY do. Filled with helpful dialogue, this book offers many valuable lessons, including: *107 Examples of abusive behavior and betrayal *6 Major No-Nos for mature, independent adults *26 Reasons why they abuse us, and 55 questions to help us understand why we allow it *27 Ways to respond to a critic *35 Empowering Statements for declaring your boundaries and enforcing consequences *10 Simple Steps for learning to say no and 8 responses for those who aren%u2019t happy about it *40 Off-Limits Subjects *38 Signs of a meaningless apology and 17 signs of a meaningful one *The 21 Rules of No Contact *102 Questions to ask yourself when you%u2019re trying to decide if you should end a toxic relationship *5 Strategies for more pleasant holidays with your relatives *The 7 Biblical Duties of a proper parent *11 Steps for getting over a lost relationship Written with empathy, wisdom and understanding, and loaded with scriptural references, this book is an eye-opener that will help you claim your freedom and change your life.




Outgrowing the Pain


Book Description

“Anyone who had a troubled childhood ought to read this book.”—Anne H. Cohn, D.P.H., Executive Director, National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse Do you have trouble finding friends, lovers, acquaintances? Once you find them, do they dump on you, take advantage of you, or leave? Are you in a relationship you know isn't good for you? Are you still trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up? Are you drinking too much, eating too much or trying to numb your pain with drugs of any kind? These are just a few of the problems abused children experience when they become adults. You may not realize you were abused. You may think your parents didn't mean it, didn't know better, or that others had it much worse. You may not even have made the connection between the past and your current problems. Outgrowing the Pain is an important book for any adult who was abused or neglected in childhood. It's an important book for professionals who help others. It's a book of questions that can pinpoint and illuminate destructive patterns. The answers you discover can lead to a life filled with new insight, hope, and love. “The best book available to help survivors cope and understand.”—Dan Sexton, Director, Childhelp's National Abuse Hotline “An invaluable aid for adult survivors of child abuse.”—Suzanne M. Sgroi, M.D., Executive Director, New England Clinical Associates




Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents


Book Description

Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory




Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind


Book Description

An examination of adults who have been manipulated by divorcing parents. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) occurs when divorcing parents use children as pawns, trying to turn the child against the other parent. This book examines the impact of PAS on adults and offers strategies and hope for dealing with the long-term effects.




When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart


Book Description

Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.




Rules of Estrangement


Book Description

A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.




Bad Childhood---Good Life


Book Description

In this important book, Dr. Laura Schlessinger shows men and women that they can have a Good Life no matter how Bad their Childhood. For each of us, there is a connection between our early family dynamics and experiences and our current attitudes and decisions. Many of the people Dr. Laura has helped did not realize how their histories impacted their adult lives, or how their choices in people, repetitive situations, and decisions -- even their emotional reactions -- were connected to those early negative experiences, playing a major role in their current unhappiness. For these people and millions like them, too much time is dedicated to repeating the ugly dynamics of childhood in a vain attempt to repair or cope with deep hurt and longings. Too often they use their emotional pain to control others or excuse their own inappropriate and destructive behaviors. Some turn to therapy, only to find themselves trapped in their self-pitying victim mode, robbed of optimism, confidence, and growth. Dr. Laura will help you realize that no matter what circumstances you came from or currently live in, you are ultimately responsible for how you react to them. The acceptance of this basic truth is the source of your power to secure the Good Life you long for. In her signature straightforward style, with real-life examples, Dr. Laura shows you what you will gain by not being satisfied with an identity as a victim, or even as a survivor -- but striving to be a victor! In Bad Childhood -- Good Life, Dr. Laura will guide you to accept the truth of the assaults on your psyche and soul, understand your unique coping style and how it impacts your daily thoughts and actions, and help you embrace a life of more peace and happiness. Bad Childhood -- Good Life comes from a compassionate and personal place. Dr. Laura also reveals some of her own experiences with a difficult childhood and what efforts it took to attain a Good Life. She writes, "My resilience has paid off, and I'm doing the best I can with what I've got." Now you can, too.