AITA?: A Modern Fairy Tale


Book Description

Dear Schmedit: This past weekend my fiancé (24 M) and I (23 F) were at a party at a friend’s and I’ll admit we both got pretty wasted.... Apparently sometime that night he asked me if it was okay to summon a demon for a threesome before our wedding, and according to him, I told him, “Yes.” I don’t actually remember this happening so clearly? But his friends must have heard me—because a week later, they’d all pitched in to have a Delectably Demonic ™ summoning kit delivered to our house for him. I want to put my foot down, but that would make him sad. I think he was really looking forward to it after I told him it’d be okay—and his friends really did spend a lot of money on this thing. It’s top of the line, and they can’t return it. You know how demons are. So I kind of feel like a jerk. I mean, I did say yes, and I don’t want to let him down. If I tell him no . . . AITA? AITA? is a sizzling sapphic romcom based on instantly recognizable internet lore.




Assholes


Book Description

In the spirit of the mega-selling On Bullshit, philosopher Aaron James presents a theory of the asshole that is both intellectually provocative and existentially necessary. What does it mean for someone to be an asshole? The answer is not obvious, despite the fact that we are often personally stuck dealing with people for whom there is no better name. Try as we might to avoid them, assholes are found everywhere—at work, at home, on the road, and in the public sphere. Encountering one causes great difficulty and personal strain, especially because we often cannot understand why exactly someone should be acting like that. Asshole management begins with asshole understanding. Much as Machiavelli illuminated political strategy for princes, this book finally gives us the concepts to think or say why assholes disturb us so, and explains why such people seem part of the human social condition, especially in an age of raging narcissism and unbridled capitalism. These concepts are also practically useful, as understanding the asshole we are stuck with helps us think constructively about how to handle problems he (and they are mostly all men) presents. We get a better sense of when the asshole is best resisted, and when he is best ignored—a better sense of what is, and what is not, worth fighting for.




The No Asshole Rule


Book Description

The definitive guide to working with -- and surviving -- bullies, creeps, jerks, tyrants, tormentors, despots, backstabbers, egomaniacs, and all the other assholes who do their best to destroy you at work. "What an asshole!" How many times have you said that about someone at work? You're not alone! In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton builds on his acclaimed Harvard Business Review article to show you the best ways to deal with assholes...and why they can be so destructive to your company. Practical, compassionate, and in places downright funny, this guide offers: Strategies on how to pinpoint and eliminate negative influences for good Illuminating case histories from major organizations A self-diagnostic test and a program to identify and keep your own "inner jerk" from coming out The No Asshole Rule is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Week bestseller.




The Asshole Survival Guide


Book Description

“This book is a contemporary classic—a shrewd and spirited guide to protecting ourselves from the jerks, bullies, tyrants, and trolls who seek to demean. We desperately need this antidote to the a-holes in our midst.”—Daniel H. Pink, best-selling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive How to avoid, outwit, and disarm assholes, from the author of the classic The No Asshole Rule As entertaining as it is useful, The Asshole Survival Guide delivers a cogent and methodical game plan for anybody who feels plagued by assholes. Sutton starts with diagnosis—what kind of asshole problem, exactly, are you dealing with? From there, he provides field-tested, evidence-based, and often surprising strategies for dealing with assholes—avoiding them, outwitting them, disarming them, sending them packing, and developing protective psychological armor. Sutton even teaches readers how to look inward to stifle their own inner jackass. Ultimately, this survival guide is about developing an outlook and personal plan that will help you preserve the sanity in your work life, and rescue all those perfectly good days from being ruined by some jerk. “Thought-provoking and often hilarious . . . An indispensable resource.”—Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before “At last . . . clear steps for rejecting, deflecting, and deflating the jerks who blight our lives . . . Useful, evidence-based, and fun to read.”—Robert Cialdini, best-selling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion




Just Don't Be an Asshole


Book Description

Take it from a mom who raised two teenage boys into actual humans—yes, they can and do change. This is her tough love and candid advice on being a good guy in a world full of assh*les. Have you ever returned the family car with less than a quarter tank left? Or gotten a technical in a rec-league basketball game? If so, you might be an assh*le—or you’re at least acting like one. But there’s hope for you yet! As it turns out, everyone needs to learn one major lesson to safely avoid assh*le territory: Other people are also humans. (Whoa.) This frank, funny, and necessary guidebook contains everything young men need to know to have positive interactions, make better decisions, and recognize when they’re being jerks. Things like, just don’t be an assh*le . . . • To your family: Parents are not your servants. • To your friends: They’ll laugh at you, not with you. • At work: No one wants to hear your podcast idea. • To women: “Are you up?” doesn’t qualify as romance. • Online: If you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it. • In real life: People unlike you are also people. • To yourself: It’s okay not to have all the answers. And if someone got you this book, don’t be an assh*le to them. Instead, consider this a gentle nudge in a different direction.




How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes


Book Description

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day. As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes? On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place? How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.




AM I THE ASSHOLE?


Book Description

"A hilariously irreverent take on the modern memoir....you'll never look at memoirs the same way again." -Boston Globe "A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir, Dr. Brandon Day takes us on his lifelong odyssey of hellish introspection and painstaking self-discovery. He chronicles his battles with homelessness, addiction, bosses, teachers, cable companies, neighbors, his children, and his ex-wife to answer the existential question that burns inside all of us, "Am I the Asshole?" -NEW YORK TIMES Brandon Day grew up in an abusive home. All through his childhood, his sadistic and overbearing parents tortured him by forcing him to perform all sorts of unthinkable acts such as brushing his teeth and doing his homework, and by the time he was ten years old he had already become addicted to Nintendo. He would spend hours upon hours in his bedroom playing games such as Mike Tyson's Punchout and The Legend of Zelda as a means to escape the suffering he endured at the hands of his cruel and merciless parents. Without any real skills, talent or drive, Dr. Brandon Day knew that if he wanted to become rich and famous that he would have to tell his story. He would have to write a really self-righteous memoir where he plays the victim and shits all over his friends and family, complains about how hard his life is, and then brags about how he overcame it all. That would be his only way out of the insufferable torture of having hardly any followers on social media. But upward mobility required crafting the perfect resilience narrative. He had to prove to himself and the rest of the world that he was not just lazy, and he was an "overcomer," made stronger by all the bullshit he had endured at the hands of not only his parents, but other family members, friends, co-workers, teachers, wives, ex-wives, bosses, neighbors, and even his own children. However, the truth was more complicated. After he graduated from college, Dr. Brandon's mom and dad kept breaking his balls about smoking too much pot and finding a fucking job already. If only it were that easy. Eventually his parents would kick him out of their house and even force him to pay for his own car insurance when he was just a young, scared, 26-years-old little boy. Dr. Brandon learns to confront his own past filled with many secrets: a marijuana stash he hid in his sock drawer all through high school, phone calls from debt collectors who use strange numbers to try to trick him into picking up, dozens of lost car keys and wallets he never found, and sometimes even peeing in the kitchen sink when he is drunk. All of which led to the unbecoming desperation of a 40-year-old man forced to a reckoning with his own identity. Although Dr. Brandon would go on to graduate from college and become a high school guidance counselor, he found that sweet-ass summer vacations and a strong teacher's union didn't necessarily mean safety from judgment from the patriarchy or American meritocracy. Both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it, this searing debut memoir exposes the price we pay for the promise of a bright future. Dr. Brandon Day's story challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and live life on our own terms, even if those terms mean that you're kind of an asshole.




Ascent of the A-Word


Book Description

An attention-grabbing, thought-provoking exploration of the life of the word "asshole," by a renowned linguist and author




Assholes Finish First


Book Description

Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.




Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?


Book Description

A full-frontal guide to hacking your way to platinum status—in everything.