Parachutes and Ribbons and Scarves, Oh My!


Book Description

Grades K5 What could be better than a resource that will have your students begging to listen to more classical music? Artie Almeida shares some of her most beloved listening and movement-based lessons. Outstanding orchestral tracks, video performances of the lessons, and reproducible visuals and teaching aids are included!




Ragsale


Book Description

Jessann and her family spend Saturday going to the ragsales of their Appalachian town.




Crash and Burn


Book Description

In this follow-up to his memoir Too fat to fish, the comedian and radio personality focuses on his drug addiction and life-threatening depression with an unflinching eye and his signature wit. A veteran comedian and radio personality, Lange was addicted to heroin and prescription drugs. He details his very public meltdown, and explains how he turned his life and career around.




Artie and the Wolf Moon


Book Description

Audisee® eBooks with Audio combine professional narration and sentence highlighting for an engaging read aloud experience! “A heartfelt, magical family drama you can really sink your teeth into.” —Nilah Magruder, M.F.K. After sneaking out against her mother's wishes, Artie Irvin spots a massive wolf—then watches it don a bathrobe and transform into her mom. Thrilled to discover she comes from a line of werewolves, Artie asks her mom to share everything—including the story of Artie's late father. Her mom reluctantly agrees. And to help Artie figure out her own wolflike abilities, her mom recruits some old family friends. Artie thrives in her new community and even develops a crush on her new friend Maya. But as she learns the history of werewolves and her own parents' past, she'll find that wolves aren't the scariest thing in the woods—vampires are. "A breath of fresh air. . . . Full of robust characters, dynamic panels, and immersive landscapes, this coming-of-age story of family and the supernatural is one any reader will have a hard time putting down."—Shannon Wright, Twins "A book of cycles—love, loss, reunion, redemption. Readers will thoroughly enjoy getting lost in the beautifully rendered forests."—Wendy Xu, Mooncakes "A love letter to the power of family to help you grow, heal, and find yourself. . . . As rich and immersive as a big family dinner."—Melanie Gillman, Stage Dreams “An absolutely gorgeous, thrilling read.”—Blue Delliquanti, O Human Star “Heartbreaking and heart mending.”—Priya Huq, Piece by Piece: The Story of Nisrin’s Hijab




Robots Feel Nothing When They Hold Hands


Book Description

A collection of humorous quotes taken from the Twitter feeds of "Family Guy" writers and illustrators.




Too Fat to Fish


Book Description

Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern. When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting. A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics. True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio. Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.




Based on a True Story


Book Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”




Artie


Book Description

When the Johnson family generously donated money to adopt an endangered animal, little did they know that a young, orphaned polar bear with a passion for ice-hockey and mischief, would turn up on their doorstep! Join Artie on his adventure all the way from the far north of Canada to downtown London. Will the Johnsons give Artie the family he so desperately wants?




Artie's Courage


Book Description

A courageous farm girl's life is changed forever when she falls in love with a charming street musician, opening her eyes to the cruel mistreatment of Mexico's mine workers and compelling her to stand with them against their oppressor - the man she is marrying. Esperanza lives a charmed life. The daughter of a wealthy landowner, her family is thrilled when she attracts the attentions of the handsome and mysterious Don Raúl, opening the door to a glittering life of opulence for them all. However, a chance encounter with a charming street musician forces Esperanza to open her eyes to the cruel underworld of Mexico's mistreated working classes, and she begins to doubt everything she ever thought she wanted. As the people begin to rise up in a bloodthirsty revolution against their oppressors, Esperanza is forced to make choices that she hoped never to face. Esperanza's decisions threaten to tear apart her family, her heart, and the country she loves. In this brutal world where a few careless words can cost lives, will the price of freedom prove to be more than what she is willing to pay? Led by strong female characters, ARTIE'S COURAGE turns the common damsel in distress trope on its head. Based on real historical events, this thrilling page-turner story of love and courage in the face of adversity follows characters on an emotional journey through laughter, tears, passion, and heartbreak.




The Butt Book


Book Description

Tall butts, short butts, round butts, flat butts. Butts on mummies and butts on mommies. Butts on giraffes and elephants and dogs and... FISH? Yes, even fish butts are celebrated in this tribute to backsides, rumps, tushies, keisters, heinies, and derrieres. Dozens of funny rhymes and pages of laugh-out-loud pictures pay homage to a body part that keeps kids and grown-ups giggling with glee. Bottoms up!