Death by Smoothie


Book Description

Freelance writer and long‑time Ben & Jerry’s addict Jaine Austen uncovers murderers on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, with a little help from her snarky cat, Prozac, in this witty mystery series from acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine—a lighthearted treat for cat cozy fans and readers of Joanne Fluke, Miranda James, and Laura Childs. The Bewitched knockoff I Married a Zombie may have flopped in its day, but it’s got a devoted cult following. Jaine is delighted when one of those rabid fans hires her as script doctor for his new play based on the show—until she reads the awful script and meets Misty, the actress who’ll be playing Cryptessa’s role. Misty has Audrey Hepburn’s doe eyes but not a smidgen of her ability. Yet she can certainly act the diva, demanding a special smoothie every day at 3pm. Meanwhile, Jaine is grappling with another spoiled female—her uncooperative cat, Prozac, who’s refusing to be wrangled into a kitty harness for outside walks. When someone spikes Misty’s signature drink with a fatal shot of rat poison, the cast of suspects extends far beyond the theater. What Misty lacked in talent she made up for in enemies. Everyone Jaine talks to maintains their innocence, but one of them is clearly only playing the part. And it’s up to Jaine to figure out who, before a killer schedules an encore performance . . .




Death of a Neighborhood Witch


Book Description

Reprinted Edition "I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke When Jaine Austen's beloved cat Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played Cryptessa Muldoon, television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now she spends her days making enemies with everyone on the block. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Trespass sign on Halloween night, the neighborhood fills with relief--and possible culprits. With a killer on the loose, Jaine hardly has time to fall under the spell of her yummy new neighbor, Peter. As the prime suspect, she summons her sleuthing skills to clear her name and soon discovers that everyone has a few skeletons in their closets. . . "Levine's latest finds her at her witty and wacky best." --Kirkus Reviews "Cozy fans will enjoy seeing how Jaine wiggles out of this one." --Publishers Weekly




Murder Gets a Makeover


Book Description

The latest in acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine’s witty, lighthearted mystery series featuring Hollywood-based freelance writer Jaine Austen and her snarky cat, Prozac—a laugh-out-loud read for fans of Joanne Fluke, Miranda James, and Laura Childs. Uber-stylist Bebe Braddock plans to juice up her Instagram feed and thinks Jaine would make a perfect “Before & After” model. At Lance’s insistence Jaine is ushered into Bebe’s sprawling Brentwood spread to await her transformation. Yet, while the surroundings are glamorous, the atmosphere is toxic as Bebe bullies her team of assistants, and even her husband, into obeying her every whim. Having earned the wrath of everyone in her orbit, few are shocked when Bebe is found strangled with one of her detested wire hangers. But Jaine’s prints are all over the murder weapon, making her a prime suspect. The police, however, aren’t the only ones showing interest in her—so is Justin, Bebe’s very cute, very young personal assistant. While Jaine navigates a cougar-style romance, Prozac is mistakenly hailed as a feline hero and catapults into internet fame. Still, there are more urgent matters at hand than Prozac’s swelling ego. Unless Jaine can track down Bebe’s killer and clear her own name, the only new outfit she’ll be modeling is an orange prison jumpsuit . . . “As always, Levine’s spunky heroine gets the last laugh.” —Kirkus Reviews “For lovers of the zany this is a sure thing.” —Booklist




Death by Pantyhose


Book Description

I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny. --Joanne Fluke Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas's act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas's pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest. . .Dorcas. They figure it's an open-and-shut case, although Jaine figures no killer can be that dumb. But when Jaine sets out to find the real culprit, she is distracted by one dating disaster after another with Andrew--and she may not see the dark side of comedy until she faces the business end of a gun and a cold, deadly grin. . . "Fun. . .Jaine's dogged sleuthing and screwball antics will entertain fans of this fizzy series." --Publishers Weekly




Killer Blonde


Book Description

"Jaine Austen's amused take on life, love, sex and LA will delight readers." --Carolyn Hart A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s. But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her tub, fried by her own blow dryer. The primary suspect: Heidi, SueEllen's stepdaughter, whose account of a mysterious blonde fleeing the scene is greeted with skepticism by Beverly Hills' finest. Peroxided suspects abound, including a very private masseuse, a jealous nurse, a former game show hostess. . .even a closet blonde with a surprising secret. One of them is hiding a murderous heart behind pricey highlights, and Jaine's out to expose the killer's dark roots. Because blondes have enough fun without getting away with murder. . . "Levine's series gets stronger with each book. Her dialogue is realistic yet hilarious, and her vivid characters jump off the page." -Romantic Times "The identity of the real killer comes as [a] smart surprise." --Publishers Weekly




This Pen For Hire


Book Description

"I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke Smarmy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Freelance writer Jaine Austen has penned them all. But no one needs her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple enough: a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor. The fact that he's never actually met the woman gives Jaine pause--yet she soon overcomes her misgivings, and the unlikely Romeo lands a date! But his triumph is short-lived. On Valentine's Day, Howard finds Stacy bludgeoned to death with a Thigh Master--and is quickly named the prime suspect. Jaine is shocked. Sure, Howard's awkward and eccentric. But a murderer? That's hard to believe. Especially after a little sleuthing reveals a plethora of people who harbored less-than-loving feelings towards the svelte Stacy. Now Jaine had better wrangle her clues quickly, before a crafty killer catches on--and puts a whole new spin on her ghost writing career. . . "Sheer fun!" --Carolyn Hart




Festive in Death


Book Description

Eve Dallas deals with a homicide—and the holiday season—in this thrilling In Death novel from #1 New York Times bestselling author J. D. Robb. Personal trainer Trey Ziegler was in peak physical condition. If you didn’t count the kitchen knife in his well-toned chest. Lieutenant Eve Dallas soon discovers a lineup of women who were loved and left by the narcissistic gym rat. While Dallas sorts through the list of Ziegler’s enemies, she’s also dealing with her Christmas shopping list—plus the guest list for her and her billionaire husband’s upcoming holiday bash. Feeling less than festive, Dallas tries to put aside her distaste for the victim and solve the mystery of his death. There are just a few investigating days left before Christmas, and as New Year’s 2061 approaches, this homicide cop is resolved to stop a cold-blooded killer.




Death of a Gigolo


Book Description

It's homicide on the funny side as freelance writer and long-time Ben & Jerry's addict Jaine Austen battles crime (and cellulite) on the mean streets of Beverly Hills! Freelance writer Jaine Austen's life is suddenly full of romance. For one thing, she's reconnected with her ex--though her cat, Prozac, isn't happy about it. And Jaine's also got a new ghostwriting gig, working on a steamy novel called Fifty Shades of Turquoise... Daisy Kincaid is in her sixties and heiress to a fortune. Now she wants to make a name for herself as a romance author...with a little help from Jaine, that is. As Jaine labors away on love scenes, she gets to know the wealthy woman's gentleman friend, her household staff, and her social circle--every one of whom is horrified when Daisy falls under the spell of a much younger stud named Tommy, a rude, crude lothario who's made himself a fixture in Daisy's Bel Air mansion. After Tommy and Daisy shock everyone by announcing their engagement, it doesn't take long for someone to stab him in the neck--with the solid gold Swiss Army knife that Daisy gave him as a gift. But to narrow down the list of suspects, Jaine will have to put a bookmark in that love story--and focus all her creative talent into untangling a tale of money and murder...




Death Paints a Picture


Book Description

Penelope Standing walks dogs, delivers mail, and never lets her age keep her from getting into trouble. There’s always something interesting happening nearby. Then their small town’s artist-in-residence turns up dead. Though nobody had a motive to poison the French painter, Penelope can’t help but wonder if it really was an accident. Turns out Jean-Philippe had secrets. And the killer isn’t finished yet. If you love cozies featuring witty characters, tantalizing puzzles, and hilarious animals, grab the latest Penelope Standing Mystery, Death Paints a Picture, today!




Until Death


Book Description

The best laid plans can still go awry…in the most terrifying way. Shanice Lawrence is hiding, but she soon learns that everything she’s been told has been a lie. After she and Cruz finally reunite, she’s happy and content in the life they’ve built together. A normal life, far from the turmoil of the past. But then the unthinkable happens, and she’s thrust into a nightmare she didn’t see coming. When Cruz Cordoba finds Shanice alive, he vows to never leave her again, and for a while, life is good—a far cry from the violence and chaos he’s used to as a Plan B assassin. Unfortunately, a deadly force won’t leave the couple alone. In the end, Cruz has no choice. Kill, or be killed. This is Part 2 of 2 and should only be read after reading Part 1, Until Now.