Do Ask, Do Tell


Book Description

The original Bill of Rights, sponsored largely by James Madison, is now about 210 years old. Reinforced by the Fourteenth Amendment, which eventually applied many of its provisions to the states, it has served us well. It is time to re-evaluate our fundamental constitutional rights and to seriously consider their major renovation. This is my central proposal. Are we ready to trust ourselves as individuals with the personal responsibilities that go with rights? When government defines personal moral values, we tend to take less account for not only our own actions but also our own underlying values, for those spiritual yearnings that make us, all unique people, who we are. We tend to lose interest in speaking for ourselves and tend to leave moral judgments to "experts" who get paid to pass judgment on all of us. I discuss a philosophy, often called libertarianism, of extremely restricted government. I present it from the personal perspective of a gay man who grew up in a period of enormous change and migration toward cultural individualism. My argument is intended for everyone, but I provide my own detailed perspectives on many issues. The parallel between draft deferments during the Vietnam era and the gays-in-the-military battle today How close the gay community, as we know it, came to total catastrophe during the early days of AIDS crisis What the "family values" debate is really all about Volunteerism and social obligations, and how both military service and parenting fit into these What "discrimination" is really all about How the "Don’t Tell" mentality interferes with political and social debate in many areas Why equal rights for gays is important for everybody A science of personal growth and why libertarianism is good for personal growth




Do Ask, Do Tell: When Liberty Is Stressed


Book Description

As our culture has placed increasing importance on the individual, it may be time to consider reinforcing our rights. Individual liberties have recently come under severe stress; not only from the necessary war on terror but also from corporate misconduct and well-founded concerns about managing exploding technology, as well a more traditional questions about culture and family values. Many of the affirmative protections in the original Bill of Rights are largely procedural. It would be well to list and review our fundamental rights with a conceptual bottom-up review. These rights would include psychological rights to express to others who we are as individuals and would invoke social rights to ensure basic fairness to all people. How do we reinforce individual rights and, simultaneously, maintain stability. Security and social justice in our society? With many issues, the free market provides a much more dependable means of regulation than can government. But there are some areas where law is essential to maintain real freedom. This book comprises ten essays about balancing individual liberties with increasing concerns about security and stability.




Do Ask, Do Tell, Let's Talk


Book Description

Conversations among friends accomplish more than debates between opponents. Conversations on controversial issues do not to go well when the dialogue happens community-to-community or figurehead-to-figurehead. Whether it’s race, religion, or politics, groups don’t talk well with groups. Too much is at stake when we feel like our words and actions speak for the collective whole. Platforms and podiums will never accomplish what can only be done around dinner tables and in living rooms. Two individuals from those respective groups are much more likely to forge a good relationship, influencing one another in various ways. Unfortunately, an individual who listens well is often viewed by his or her collective compatriots as engaging in compromise; at the group level, representing each side fairly feels too much like agreement. That is why the aim of this book is friendship. Friendship is the level at which influence can be had, because the dialogue does not seek to represent an agenda but to understand a person. Friendship is what protects good points from becoming gotcha moments. The subject for which this approach may be most vital for the modern church may be homosexuality and same-sex attraction (SSA). Yet our approach has tended to be more polemical or political than pastoral and personal. Churches have articulated their position on a conservative sexual ethic. Churches have re-examined the key biblical texts that are challenged in defense of a progressive sexual ethic. As important as these things are, however, they do not equip everyday Christians to develop meaningful friendships with people who experience same-sex attraction or have embraced a gay identity. In the absence of relationship, our theology becomes theory. Many Christians are seeing that the church’s unwillingness to befriend people who experience SSA has blocked us from engaging with the subject of homosexuality on a person-to-person level. We are reticent to engage relationships where it feels probable that there will be awkwardness. Admittedly, this book is not as “neat” as you might like for it to be. Many tensions will be navigated; maybe not all contradictions will be avoided. However, when it comes to being salt and light for the sake of the gospel, it seems far better to choose possible messiness over guaranteed ineffectiveness. That means we must realize that it is good for us to have conversations where we don’t know what to say. This is part of the essence of being a growing person. When we’re not having conversations that challenge us to think about new things, we will commit sins either of pride or apathy. We should always be praying that God will bring people into our lives who will provide the opportunity for us to ask new and important questions. The desire of this book is to be a resource God uses to grow his people into excellent ambassador-friends to their classmates, colleagues, and family members who experience SSA. If this is what you want to do and be, then God will be faithful to complete this work in you regardless of the strengths and weaknesses, insights and oversights of this book (Philippians 1:6). Thank you for taking this journey with me. —Brad Hambrick




Do Ask Do Tell: Speech Is a Fundamental Right; Being Listened to Is a Privilege


Book Description

Do Ask, Do Tell: Speech Is a Fundamental Right, Being Listened to Is a Privilege is the third of a sequence of my Do Ask, Do Tell books. The general themes of the books are individualism and personal responsibility, and especially how these precepts apply to gay equality and free speech issues. The first book was Do Ask, Do Tell: A Gay Conservative Lashes Back in 1997. The book was motivated by the early fight over gays in the military that ensued after President Clintons inauguration in 1993. There is a long narrative going back to my own expulsion from a civilian college and then my experience with the military draft, which makes for a certain irony. The book, toward the end, switches from historical and autobiographical accounts to policy discussions on discrimination in other areas, which are presented in a manner concentric to the military issue as like a superstorm core. One important concept is that individual rights are connected to the ability to share risks (like availability for military service) that belong to the common good. In late 1998, I published a supplementary booklet, less than a hundred pages, called Our Fundamental Rights, which does not carry the Do Ask, Do Tell prefix. In 2002, I published Do Ask Do Tell: When Liberty Is Stressed, a set of essays that respond to the issues accentuated by the 9/11 attacks and by new legal threats to Internet speech (such as the 1998 Child Online Protection Act, or COPA). One idea that I covered in the book was a Bill of Rights II. The latest book traces these widely dispersed issues centered around individualism further, particularly in areas like various threats to Internet freedom that we take for granted, gay equality (including marriage and parenting), the workplace, and eldercare, the latter driven by rapid demographic change. The new book is in two parts. Part 1 comprises a prologue and six nonfiction chapters about different problem areas, with recreation of a variety of incidents at various points in my life. However, the sequence of narration is not chronological, as it was in the first book. Part 2 consists of three short stories. The stories demonstrate some of the ideas in the nonfiction chapters. One, written in 1969, is a somewhat fictionalized account of my own Basic Combat Training experience in 1968. The second, written in 1981, depicts two former college roommates reuniting and going on a trip through countryside heavily damaged by strip-mining for coal. The third, written in 2013, presents another road trip, this one more bizarre, with the protagonist, having gotten what he wants, returns home to find a world besieged with an unusual catastrophe and ready to accept the idea of an instant family, like it or not. My ideas about how to process all the questions about individual rights have become more subtle and far more personal. Back in the 1990s, it was easy to say that social and political policy should be fiscally conservative yet socially liberal. Libertarian positions, of minimal government at all levels, seemed to promote individual rights; there was no legitimate reason for the state to concern itself with adults in the bedroom or even what they choose to put into their own bodies. Of course, even then, as I discussed in the first book, there were enormous practical tensions. Even though there were plenty of complaints that gays and singles were not treated equally in public policy, in practice people without families often had much more discretionary income and much more time for their own pursuits. In time, it has become apparent that the disinclination of many people to have children at all can lead to enormous problems in the future in funding retirement income and health and custodial care. In areas ranging from the epidemiology of HIV to the way bizarre and dangerous infectious diseases are incubated by agricultural practice in the developing world, and in debates about vaccine policy, it is apparent tha




Go Ask Alice


Book Description

A teen plunges into a downward spiral of addiction in this classic cautionary tale. January 24th After you’ve had it, there isn't even life without drugs… It started when she was served a soft drink laced with LSD in a dangerous party game. Within months, she was hooked, trapped in a downward spiral that took her from her comfortable home and loving family to the mean streets of an unforgiving city. It was a journey that would rob her of her innocence, her youth—and ultimately her life. Read her diary. Enter her world. You will never forget her. For thirty-five years, the acclaimed, bestselling first-person account of a teenage girl’s harrowing decent into the nightmarish world of drugs has left an indelible mark on generations of teen readers. As powerful—and as timely—today as ever, Go Ask Alice remains the definitive book on the horrors of addiction.




Ask, Tell


Book Description

Where can you turn when you’re caught in a crossfire of war and passion? Captain Sabine Fleischer is a skilled and dedicated U.S. Army surgeon deployed to a combat hospital in Afghanistan. She is also one of the thousands of troops who are forced to serve in silence because of the military’s anti-gay policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).” Usually driven and focused, Sabine finds that battles raging both inside and outside the perimeter walls are making it more and more difficult for her to deal with her emotions. Dealing with loss and mortality, lack of privacy, sleep deprivation, loneliness and the isolation forced on her by “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” are all taking their toll. Plus, her long-term relationship with a civilian back home is quickly becoming another casualty of war. Colonel Rebecca Keane is an enigmatic career officer who runs the surgical unit like clockwork. Well liked and respected by those who work with and under her, she walks a fine line to preserve the military’s chain of command while connecting with those under her care and supervision. Sabine knows the Colonel is way off-limits, but can’t help fantasizing about her. Especially when she starts picking up unspoken cues—a stolen glance, a secret smile, an “accidental” brush of hands. Or is it just wishful thinking? After all, Rebecca’s wedding ring shines almost as brightly as her deep blue eyes…




Messy Grace


Book Description

Sometimes, grace gets messy. Caleb Kaltenbach was raised by LGBT parents, marched in gay pride parades as a youngster, and experienced firsthand the hatred and bitterness of some Christians toward his family. But then Caleb surprised everyone, including himself, by becoming a Christian…and a pastor. Very few issues in Christianity are as divisive as the acceptance of the LGBT community in the church. As a pastor and as a person with beloved family members living a gay lifestyle, Caleb had to face this issue with courage and grace. Messy Grace shows us that Jesus’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself” doesn’t have an exception clause for a gay “neighbor”—or for that matter, any other “neighbor” we might find it hard to relate to. Jesus was able to love these people and yet still hold on to his beliefs. So can you. Even when it’s messy. “Messy Grace is an important contribution to the conversation about sexual identity for churches and leaders. Caleb's story is surprising and unique, and he weaves it together compellingly. He states his views clearly, leaves room for disagreement, and champions love no matter where you are in this conversation.” —Jud Wilhite, Sr. Pastor, Central Christian Church




Don't Ask, Don't Tell


Book Description

Private Kyle Sullivan is a happily married man who thinks he's left his homosexual experiences in his past. What he didn't count on was the high-ranking officer who forces a sexual relationship with him. After breaking off a relationship with her abusive girlfriend, Lauren Burns has finally made her dreams come true by becoming a member of the U.S. Army. Anji Foster is looking at her entrance into the military as a way out of her small town and a place to meet lots of men. What will happen when these two very different women cross paths? Sky Love is engaged to be married to a handsome and wealthy man, but she's not ready to let go of her woman on the side. Lela is willing to keep their secret because if it gets out, she's not sure how her fellow soldiers will react. When Four Star General Orpheus Beauregard Roulette III finally acts upon the homosexual urges he's been suppressing for years, he gets more than he bargained for. Now he finds himself caught between the crosshairs of his scorned wife and the young man who's blackmailing him. The Don't Ask, Don't Tell law may have been repealed, but what if there are some members of the U.S. armed forces who still have reasons to keep their sexuality a secret? Urban Books authors M.T. Pope, Tina Brooks McKinney, Brenda Hampton, and Terry E. Hill explore this subject with their own trademark dramatic style.




This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids


Book Description

Written in an accessible Q&A format, here, finally, is the go-to resource for parents hoping to understand and communicate with their gay child. Through their LGBTQ-oriented site, the authors are uniquely experienced to answer parents' many questions and share insight and guidance on both emotional and practical topics. Filled with real-life experiences from gay kids and parents, this is the book gay kids want their parents to read.




Ask a Manager


Book Description

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together