Reporting for Doodie


Book Description

What would you do if you were a (suddenly) single grandmother and both of your daughter and son-in-law were sent off to war at the same time, leaving you as primary caregiver for your 2-year old grandson??? You'd do exactly what I did... Report for Doodie ! So many events inspired this book...some happy, some frustrating, some sad...but all...life-changing. My story starts with one incredibly funny incident that served as an epiphany to share my story. This was not the first time I was "Reporting for Doodie", but it was the first time I was doing it all alone. Or so I thought...I discovered a secret vault filled with friends I never knew I had. Sadly, I also lost a few along the way. I found myself in the midst of an unexpected divorce, facing the possible loss of my home and making a major career change, when someone, somewhere took a look at my proverbial "plate" and thought..."there's a little corner of her plate that isn't taken, she needs a toddler to care for...oh, and at the same time, let's throw in a rarely-heard-of medical condition to make her life even more interesting". I hope you enjoy my account of how this beautiful child saved me from myself and how I used "The Secret" to channel the inner strength my mother gave me...all compliments of the U.S. Military.




Doodie and the Chocolate


Book Description

Doodie is a charismatic 4 year old girl living the life of an only child with her Mommy, Daddy, and Otis (her dog) by her side. Like all children her age she has a tooth made just for chocolate. Can Doodie satisfy her sweet tooth while satisfying the expectations of her parents or will things turn sour?




Aven Green Baking Machine


Book Description

Now that third-grader Aven Green has retired from sleuthing, it’s time to conquer a whole new world: baking! Aven knows she’s an expert baker of cakes and cookies since she’s been baking with her mom for a really long time. Plus no one bakes quite like her. She cracks eggs with her feet and measures sugar and flour with her feet (plus measuring cups) since she was born without arms. And now Aven has her eye on the prize: a beautiful blue ribbon for baking at the county fair. So she teams up with her friends Kayla, Emily, and Sujata. But It turns out they all have very different tastes and a lot of opinions about baking. Talk about a recipe for disaster!




Dictionary of Doodie


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Something Rich Like Chocolate


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They Call Her Ed


Book Description

They Call Her Ed is a crime novel written by a team of real private investigators. A synopsis: Since he left the monastery, Johnny Loretto has had his heart broken about a hundred times ? by the same woman. And for years he has plodded forward, trying to make a living as a private investigator in Horsetooth, Colorado. When two promising clients come his way, he thinks his luck has changed.Rex King, president of Horsetooth University, hires Johnny to handle an extortion case. The blackmailer is threatening to send some incriminating photos to King?s wife and, worse yet, the board of regents. A few days later Professor Throgmorton, director of research at the veterinary school, seeks Johnny?s help in tracking down a missing sheep.The two cases collide, and Johnny uncovers an illegal cloning project involving several big players in town. When a cross-dressing sheep thief is murdered, Johnny becomes the prime suspect.With some help from his lifelong friend, Father Hank Redwine, Johnny embarks on a bruising tour de horse as he searches for evidence to expose the conspirators and prove his innocence. As he traverses the weird boulevards of Horsetooth, he must dodge his pursuers: Copeland, his freaky, stalking nemesis; Detective Shepherd, the cop convinced there is blood on Johnny?s hands; Luther, the vengeful leader of the Bros. of Bedlam biker gang; and, at the center of the storm, Jane Crowe, Johnny?s treacherous old flame.Along this strange journey Johnny finds himself in the struggle of his life, one that brings him to the edge of his existence as he fights for his very soul.




Truth in Advertising


Book Description

“F. Scott Fitzgerald said that there are no second acts in American lives. I have no idea what that means but I believe that in quoting him I appear far more intelligent than I am. I don’t know about second acts, but I do think we get second chances, fifth chances, eighteenth chances. Every day we get a fresh chance to live the way we want.” FINBAR DOLAN is lost and lonely. Except he doesn’t know it. Despite escaping his blue-collar Boston upbringing to carve out a mildly successful career at a Madison Avenue ad agency, he’s a bit of a mess and closing in on forty. He’s recently called off a wedding. Now, a few days before Christmas, he’s forced to cancel a long-postponed vacation in order to write, produce, and edit a Super Bowl commercial for his diaper account in record time. Fortunately, it gets worse. Fin learns that his long-estranged and once-abusive father has fallen ill. And that neither of his brothers or his sister intend to visit. It’s a wake-up call for Fin to reevaluate the choices he’s made, admit that he’s falling for his coworker Phoebe, question the importance of diapers in his life, and finally tell the truth about his past. Truth in Advertising is debut novelist John Kenney’s wickedly funny, honest, at times sardonic, and ultimately moving story about the absurdity of corporate life, the complications of love, and the meaning of family.




The Boy Adeodatus


Book Description

This is the story of an illegitimate son and the mother who decided to keep him. It is the story, too, of a foster mother who loved children and of her extended family. This extraordinary autobiography recreates the atmosphere of a Sydney suburb around World War I, and subtly explores the changing times.




Fairly Odd Mother


Book Description

"Fairly Odd Mother: Musings of a Slightly Off Southern Mom" is award-winning journalist Kelly Kazek's skewed and hilarious view of various aspects of life, from raising a daughter as a single mom to life in a small town to popular culture ... "I felt I had a lot of wisdom to impart to my daughter, like "Never let a man see you put on control top panty hose (or for that matter, take them off. Someone could get hurt.)" - from the column "Moms get dumber as teens age" "The idea of drinking a bovine pee cola gives a whole new meaning to those old Peter Frampton lyrics, 'I'm in you, urine me.' At least I think that's how they went. Plus, it makes you give those Red Bull ingredients a second glance." - from the column "Try an ice cold Cow-ca Cola" "Guys, at this point have likely picked up on the more obvious (to guys) mystery in this whole incident: Where does a naked woman put $40,000 in jewelry...? (Pause while we all ponder this.) ...and if this man was paying $100 per hour to have a naked woman in his house, why wasn't he watching her? I imagine to some, this would seem wasteful." - from the column "Nude maid strips man of self respect" What readers are saying ... "Kelly Kazek has a most delightful writing style and a wry sense of humor!" - Jim G., Phoenix, Arizona "I've never written to a newspaper colunist before but I had to write to tell you how much I enjoyed your column. Rarely does anything make me laugh out loud but your column did!" - Martha C. Leeds, Alabama "I burst out laughing several times" - Linda S. Whiting, New Jersey "If a new column's not there by Monday, I start to get the shakes." - Michael P., Milledgeville, Ga.




Cerebral Palsy Journal


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