English as a Second F*cking Language


Book Description

Demonstrates swearing for those learning English as a second language, and explains the meaning of obscene, off-color, and vulgar expressions




Watch Your F*cking Language


Book Description

Let the squeamish beware! Watch Your F*cking Language takes a no-holds-barred approach to taboo words and expressions. It shows you how to use them to your advantage -- and have fun doing so. Building on the lessons learned in English as a Second F*cking Language, this book emphasizes traditional English swears as well as powerful (and hidden) expressions from other cultures and languages. Through numerous examples, it puts the real language of real people into context: FLOYD: I just heard a Dan Quayle speech. It was really f*cking confusing. RUBY: I just got back from a Mongolian cluster f*ck. It was really confusing f*cking. The name of the game is communication, and Watch Your F*cking Language shows readers how to hammer home their messages with confidence and gusto. Among its features: *Numerous examples of proper (and so-called improper) usage *An Idioms section that emphasizes the niceties of swearing *A "Need to Know, "Nice to Know," and "Forget It" system for identifying swear words *A Final F*cking Exam







How to Swear Around the World


Book Description

Presents information on a number of obscene words in different languages around the world, offering advice on how and when to use them in foreign countries.




The Elements of F*cking Style


Book Description

The truth about English is that it can get pretty boring. Dangling modifiers, gerunds, punctuation marks--it's enough to make you want to drop out of high school. Swearing and sex on the other hand, well, these time-honored pastimes warm the cockles of our hearts. Now, The Elements of F*cking Style drags English grammar out of the ivory tower and into the gutter, injecting a dull subject with a much-needed dose of color. This book addresses everything from common questions ("What the hell is a pronoun?") to philosophical conundrums ("Does not using paragraphs or periods make my thesis read like it was written by a mental patient?"). Other valuable sections include: •All I've got in this world are my sentences and my balls, and I don't break 'em for nobody •A colon is more than an organ that gets cancer •Words your bound to f*ck up One glance at your friend's blog should tell you everything you need to know about the sorry state of the English language. This book gives you the tools you need to stop looking like an idiot on message boards and in interoffice memos. Grammar has never before been so much f*cking fun.




Artemis


Book Description

The bestselling author of The Martian returns with an irresistible new near-future thriller—a heist story set on the moon. Jasmine Bashara never signed up to be a hero. She just wanted to get rich. Not crazy, eccentric-billionaire rich, like many of the visitors to her hometown of Artemis, humanity’s first and only lunar colony. Just rich enough to move out of her coffin-sized apartment and eat something better than flavored algae. Rich enough to pay off a debt she’s owed for a long time. So when a chance at a huge score finally comes her way, Jazz can’t say no. Sure, it requires her to graduate from small-time smuggler to full-on criminal mastermind. And it calls for a particular combination of cunning, technical skills, and large explosions—not to mention sheer brazen swagger. But Jazz has never run into a challenge her intellect can’t handle, and she figures she’s got the ‘swagger’ part down. The trouble is, engineering the perfect crime is just the start of Jazz’s problems. Because her little heist is about to land her in the middle of a conspiracy for control of Artemis itself. Trapped between competing forces, pursued by a killer and the law alike, even Jazz has to admit she’s in way over her head. She’ll have to hatch a truly spectacular scheme to have a chance at staying alive and saving her city. Jazz is no hero, but she is a very good criminal. That’ll have to do. Propelled by its heroine’s wisecracking voice, set in a city that’s at once stunningly imagined and intimately familiar, and brimming over with clever problem-solving and heist-y fun, Artemis is another irresistible brew of science, suspense, and humor from #1 bestselling author Andy Weir.




F*cking History


Book Description

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life. Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born. The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.




Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language


Book Description

"Entertaining and thought-provoking…Byrne’s enthusiasm for her esoteric subject is contagious, damn it." —Melissa Dahl, New York Times Book Review In this sparkling debut work of popular science, Emma Byrne examines the latest research to show how swearing can be good for you. She explores every angle of swearing—why we do it, how we do it, and what it tells us about ourselves. Packed with the results of unlikely and often hilarious scientific studies—from the “ice-bucket test” for coping with pain, to the connection between Tourette’s and swearing, to a chimpanzee that curses at her handler in sign language—Swearing Is Good for You presents a lighthearted but convincing case for the foulmouthed.




Dirty Sign Language


Book Description

GET D RTY Next time you're signing with your friends, drop the ASL textbook formality and start flashing the signs they don't teach in any classroom, including: - cool slang - funny insults - explicit sex terms - raw swear words Dirty Sign Language teaches casual everyday words and expressions like: - Peace out - Asshole. - Bit me - Dumbfuck - Boner - I'm hung like a horse.




How to Behave in a Crowd


Book Description

A witty, heartfelt novel that brilliantly evokes the confusions of adolescence and marks the arrival of an extraordinary young talent. Isidore Mazal is eleven years old, the youngest of six siblings living in a small French town. He doesn't quite fit in. Berenice, Aurore, and Leonard are on track to have doctorates by age twenty-four. Jeremie performs with a symphony, and Simone, older than Isidore by eighteen months, expects a great career as a novelist—she's already put Isidore to work on her biography. The only time they leave their rooms is to gather on the old, stained couch and dissect prime-time television dramas in light of Aristotle's Poetics. Isidore has never skipped a grade or written a dissertation. But he notices things the others don't, and asks questions they fear to ask. So when tragedy strikes the Mazal family, Isidore is the only one to recognize how everyone is struggling with their grief, and perhaps the only one who can help them—if he doesn't run away from home first. Isidore’s unstinting empathy, combined with his simmering anger, makes for a complex character study, in which the elegiac and comedic build toward a heartbreaking conclusion. With How to Behave in a Crowd, Camille Bordas immerses readers in the interior life of a boy puzzled by adulthood and beginning to realize that the adults around him are just as lost.