You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!


Book Description

Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!




Excuse Me


Book Description

A razor-sharp collection from the acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and Instagram sensation whom Vulture recently called “a remarkable young talent” With her trademark, scratchy style and keen eye for the absurd, Liana Finck has amassed a large, devoted following who love the deeply insightful, delightfully odd way she describes how we all experience the world. Excuse Me assembles more than 500 of her most loved cartoons from Instagram and The New Yorker over the past few years, in such distinctive chapters as: Love & Dating; Gender & Other Politics; Animals; Art & Myth-Making; Humanity; Time, Space, and How to Navigate Them; Strangeness, Shyness, Sadness; and Notes to Self. Melancholy and hilarious, relatable and surreal, intensely personal yet surprisingly universal, Excuse Me brings together the best work so far by one of the most talented young comics artists working today.




Excuse Me. . . Are You a Witch?


Book Description

Herbert doesn't have a home. He doesn't have any friends, and when the weather's bad life is pretty unpleasant. Except for the library -- it's always warm, and there are lots of good books to read. But you can't live at the library! Then, while reading one day, Herbert learns that witches love pets -- especially black cats! Now all Herbert has to do is find a witch . . .




Excuse Me, Are You a Dragon?


Book Description

A young king thinks it would be fun to have a dragon to fight, so he sends a knight to find one and bring it back to the kingdom.




Excuse You!


Book Description

Did you ever hold the door for someone who walked right through without thanking you? You want to say very loudly, “Excuse You!” That kind of scenario captures the essence of this book. During random conversations about rudeness, I began to think, “How can we, who believe rudeness is rampant, initiate change?” In reality, only the individual can change or improve themselves. We must become a glaring example of courtesy as rude individuals are glaring examples to us. Can we really make our own lives better by being nice to someone else? “Excuse You!” says, without question, yes! It begins with a brief description of how courtesy originated. The focus then shifts to identify obstacles to being more courteous, solutions to overcome obstacles, and a plan for change. That thing we complain about (rudeness) is within our power to reverse. I invite you to discover a different perspective of courtesy.




What's Your Excuse?


Book Description

In this positive and practical memoir, John Foppe learns how to not only survive amidst insurmountable odds, but live a full life and inspire others to do the same. Born without arms, John has faced unique obstacles to living a normal life. But what he's always had is an indomitable faith?a faith that not only gives him the will to survive, but also the will to thrive. With a foreword by Zig Ziglar, John asks the reader hard questions and applies his own experiences as well as the unique insights he's developed. As a trained counselor and motivational speaker, John advises us how to: confidently confront adversity discover our own dynamic potential achieve accomplishment and fulfillment As John says, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, "All things are within reach." "John Foppe's book What's Your Excuse? is an inspiration just like he is for all those who have been touched by him." ?Jimmy Johnson, former NFL coach, Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins "If you truly want to reach your goals, then you must read What's Your Excuse?" ?Rudy Ruettiger, the inspiration behind the TriStar hit movie Rudy "Every one of us has survived some type of tragedy. John's story and practical insights help all of us to overcome the challenges in our lives. What's Your Excuse? is not just an inspirational book but a definitive 'how to' guide for triumphing over our problems." ?Dav Pelzer, number one international bestselling author of A Child Called It and Help Yourself




Excuse Me!


Book Description

This book teaches toddlers the ABCs of polite behavior in a gentle and funny way. Includes stickers. Full color. Consumable.




Solo


Book Description

Solo by Kwame Alexander and Mary Rand Hess is a New York Times bestseller! Kirkus Reviews said Solo is, “A contemporary hero’s journey, brilliantly told.” Through the story of a young Black man searching for answers about his life, Solo empowers, engages, and encourages teenagers to move from heartache to healing, burden to blessings, depression to deliverance, and trials to triumphs. Blade never asked for a life of the rich and famous. In fact, he’d give anything not to be the son of Rutherford Morrison, a washed-up rock star and drug addict with delusions of a comeback. Or to no longer be part of a family known most for lost potential, failure, and tragedy, including the loss of his mother. The one true light is his girlfriend, Chapel, but her parents have forbidden their relationship, assuming Blade will become just like his father. In reality, the only thing Blade and Rutherford have in common is the music that lives inside them. And songwriting is all Blade has left after Rutherford, while drunk, crashes his high school graduation speech and effectively rips Chapel away forever. But when a long-held family secret comes to light, the music disappears. In its place is a letter, one that could bring Blade the freedom and love he’s been searching for, or leave him feeling even more adrift. Solo: Is written by New York Times bestselling author and Newbery Medal and Coretta Scott King Book Award-winner Kwame Alexander Showcases Kwame’s signature intricacy, intimacy, and poetic style, by exploring what it means to finally go home An #OwnVoices novel that features a BIPOC protagonist on a search for his roots and identity Received great reviews from Publishers Weekly, School Library Journal, Booklist, and Kirkus. If you enjoy Solo, check out Swing by Kwame Alexander and Mary Rand Hess.




Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting


Book Description

"A professional matchmaker teaches people how to find their soul mates using the Law of Attraction"--Provided by publisher.




Excuse Me


Book Description

Discover a wealth of business etiquette in this invaluable resource book that helps prevent bad behavior in the workplace. What are the rules for business etiquette today? Is it acceptable to text your boss at home? What is the polite way to ask a colleague to take a distracting conversation behind closed doors? What about the use of smartphones in meetings? In today’s workplace, manners matter more than ever. With an increasing amount of open-plan workplaces and constant connectivity, the chances of unintentionally annoying or offending others is growing. Merging classic rules of behavior with new realities of modern business, Excuse Me spotlights dozens of puzzling situations, with suggestions for bridging divides. This book untangles the nuances of: meeting etiquette, interview expectations, proper office attire, electronic manners, privacy in tight spaces, nonverbal cues, small talk, social media use, and more. In even the most diverse workplaces, good manners will create an atmosphere of respect, smoothing the way for everyone to succeed. Excuse Me explains how to begin.