Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories


Book Description

40 short stories by Alex Shvartsman, winner of the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction. * An elder god trapped in a pocket dimension turns up in the world's oldest magic pawn shop. * A cybernetically-enhanced assassin who can't feel pain faces a dangerous adversary. * A computer hacker and a mystic team up to break into the Book of Fate and change their futures. * Vatican investigators are called to examine a miracle on another planet. and much, much more! Each story includes author notes, written for this collection. Praise for "Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma": "Wit, sentiment, imagination--Alex Shvartsman's got them all." -Mike Resnick, Hugo award winner. "Fantastic variety and scope ... Prepare to be entertained, delighted and amazed." -Esther Friesner, Nebula award winner. "His stories feature tightly constructed, intricate, puzzle-like plots with clever banter and plenty of fresh, twisted pop culture references." -Ken Liu, Hugo and Nebula award winner "Full of intriguing ideas and wit." -Jody Lynn Nye, bestselling author "A wonderful collection of short stories that will make you laugh, think and feel." -Gini Koch, bestselling author "If you ever need to explain Cthulhu to your Grandma, this is the place to start." -Henry Gee, senior editor at Nature.




The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories


Book Description

31 science fiction and fantasy short stories encompassing hard SF, fantasy humor, and everything in-between. * Refugees with a salvaged mech suit find that family ties are stronger than armor. * Two artificial intelligences in love turn the world into their playground. * Modern-day Dante is guided through hell by the ghost of Bob Marley. * Ancient gods and monsters stalk the halls of a 1920s night club. * A young woman must save her planet by committing an act of terror. * In the rekindled space race between the United States, Russia, and India, the winner might be the nation willing to sacrifice the most.




The Cackle of Cthulhu


Book Description

TOP AUTHORS POKE FUN AND PAY TRIBUTE TO H.P. LOVECRAFT'S CTHULHU MYTHOS. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cthul. Cthul who? Exactly! I've come to tickle your funnybone. Oh, and also to eat your soul. In 1928, Weird Tales debuted “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft, and the Cthulhu Mythos was born. In the 90 years since, dozens of writers have dared play within HPL’s mind-blowing creation—but never with such terrifyingly funny results. Now top authors lampoon, parody, and subvert Lovecraft’s Mythos. See Cthulhu cut short his nap at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to invade North Korea! Watch the Unspeakable Eater of Souls solve crimes on the pulpy streets of Innsmouth! And speaking of largish Elder Gods, listen to a plastic Elvis doll dispense folksy advice straight from the heart of the Emperor of Dread! Again Ol’ Tentacle-Face is confronted by frail humans who dare defy the Incarnation of Ultimate Evil—but this time not by brave monster hunters and terrified villagers, but by fan fiction writers, clueless college students, and corporate lawyers (okay, we realize it’s hard to know who to root for in that confrontation). Twenty-three mirthful manifestations within the Cthulhu Mythos from best-selling and award-winning authors Neil Gaiman, Mike Resnick, Esther Friesner, Ken Liu, Jody Lynn Nye, Laura Resnick, Nick Mamatas, and many more! Guaranteed to leave you howling. Because if you look at it just right, there’s nothing funnier than a soul writhing in cosmic horror before a tentacled maw of malevolence. As HPL himself saith: “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.” Praise for the Unidentified Funny Objects anthologies, edited by Alex Shvartsman: “This book is a delight. There are a lot of giggles here, and every now and then you’ll laugh your head off. This is a hoot from start to finish.”—Galaxy’s Edge “Shvartsman delivers a wonderful anthology and if you want to broaden your humorous SFF reading, Unidentified Funny Objects is a great place to start.”— A Fantastical Librarian Praise for Alex Shvartsman: “Shvartsman is an entertaining writer who can take on many voices and make them his.” –Locus “Alex Shvartsman’s comedy is bright and direct with clever dialogue of both the inner and outer sort.”—Tangent Online Complete Contributor List: Neil Gaiman Jody Lynn Nye Mike Resnick Ken Liu Nick Mamatas Esther Friesner David Vaughan Kevin Wetmore Shaenon K. Garrity Brian Trent Alex Shvartsman Rachael Klahn Jones Yvonne Navarro Scott Huggins Gini Koch Aidan Doyle Konstantine Paradias Amanda Helms Laura Resnick Matt Mikalatos Laura Pearlman Lucy A. Snyder Original stories by David Vaughan, Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Brian Trent, Yvonne Navarro, G. Scott Huggins, Gini Koch, Aidan Doyle, Amanda Helms, Laura Resnick, Laura Pearlman, Lucy Snyder, and Nick Mamatas. Reprints by Esther Friesener, Kevin Wetmore, Shaenon K. Garrity, Alex Shvatsman, Ken Liu, Rachael K. Jones, Neil Gaiman, Konstantine Paradias, and Matt Mikalatos. **




Unidentified Funny Objects 9


Book Description

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! In this volume you'll find: * Overworked fairies distributing swords. * Alien yeti slackers * Elf bakers * Absconded books * Superhero dance battles * Matchmakers ... in spaaace! This anthology contains the following stories: "The Hero of Small Things" by Amanda Saville "Chai Noon" by Esther Friesner "If Pages Could Blush" by Kyle A. Massa "The Time Loop Device is Counting Down" by Beth Goder "Crouching Swan Hidden Polka" by Jim C Hines "Sgt. Yeti" by Gini Koch "The Great Beyond Commands" by John Wiswell "The Second Wish" by James Beamon "These Three Aliens Walk into a Bar" by Simon R. Green "Our Most Sincere Apologies to the People of Brazil" by Jane Espenson "Liability Insurance Policy for Immortals, Cryptids, and Other Magical Beings: Annual Newsletter" by Tina Connolly "The Shadchen of Venus" by Lavie Tidhar "Cory Sucks" by Auston Habershaw "Sunnyside Daycare Employees' Chat Log, Post Alien Takeover" by Amanda Helms "Cooking Up Trouble" by C. Flynt "Right to Remain Silent" by Jody Lynn Nye "Auntie Elsie's Compleat Guide to Heartbreak" by Tim Pratt "The Troll Bridge" by Adam Gaylord "Do Gumshoes Dream of Electric Sleep" by Dave Vierling "Hell's Bureaucracy" by David Hankins "A Crisis of Fate" by Zach Shephard




Unidentified Funny Objects 7


Book Description

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! * A long time ago in a galaxy close enough not to violate any copyrights, the clone army fighting for the side of the evil empire is made up of a bunch of bros named Chad. * Can a couple of wise guys from New Jersey broker a sit down between two groups of warring aliens? * Witness an epic battle of mad science vs. dark magic. * US presidents elected in 1860 and 1960 were both assassinated. What's going to happen to whoever's elected in 2060? * Beware the dragon polite enough to return your drone after it breached the barriers between worlds and bonked him on the snout.




Unidentified Funny Objects 8


Book Description

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! * Superheroes mired in government bureaucracy. * Cat cat-burglars. * Grandmotherly golems. * Literal-minded self-driving cars. * Evil overlords retired in Florida. * Indifferent aliens.




EOM: Equal Opportunity Madness


Book Description

In the depths of the cosmos there is madness to be found and there are stories to be told... The Elder Gods, Cthulhu, Nyarlethotep, and the like have a taste for fear, for madness, for flesh... But over the years they have grown bored with the taste of the standard straight, white male so often portrayed in the tales of the Mythos. Like a human being with a hankering for Thai after a steady diet of steak and potatoes, the Gods of the Mythos are craving something different... An African Igbo head man defends his tribe against eldritch incursion with the help of his own Gods... A deeply scarred man gathers strength from Sobek, the Egyptian God who claimed him young, as he stands against the horrors shoulder to shoulder with a Priestess of Bast... A Jewish lesbian rides into town to save it from the Unspeakable, with a little help from her girlfriend and her rich heritage... All this and more await you in these pages. Welcome to equal opportunity madness...




The Monster Hunter Files


Book Description

For well over a century, Monster Hunter International has kept the world safe from supernatural threats small and large—and in some cases very, very large. Now, join us as MHI opens their archives for the first time. From experienced Hunters on their toughest cases, to total newbies' initial encounters with the supernatural, The Monster Hunter Files reveals the secret history of the world's most elite monster fighting force. Discover what happened when Agent Franks took on the Nazis in World War Two. Uncover how the Vatican’s Combat Exorcists deal with Old Ones in Mexico. And find out exactly what takes place in a turf war between trailer park elves and gnomes. From the most powerful of mystical beings to MHI’s humble janitor, see the world of professional monster hunting like never before. Featuring seventeen all new tales based on Larry Correia’s bestselling series, from New York Timesbest-selling authors Jim Butcher, John Ringo, Jessica Day George, Jonathan Maberry, Faith Hunter, and many more. Contributors: Larry Correia Jim Butcher Mike Kupari Jessica Day George John C. Wright Maurice Broaddus Brad R. Torgersen Faith Hunter Jody Lynn Nye Quincy J. Allen Alex Shvartsman Kim May Steve Diamond John Ringo Bryan Thomas Schmidt & Julie C. Frost Sarah A. Hoyt Jonathan Maberry About Larry Correia and the Monster Hunter International series: “[E]verything I like in fantasy: intense action scenes, evil in horrifying array, good struggling against the darkness, and most of all people—gorgeously flawed human beings faced with horrible moral choices that force them to question and change and grow.”—Jim Butcher “[A] no-holds-barred all-out page turner that is part science fiction, part horror, and an absolute blast to read.”—Bookreporter.com “If you love monsters and action, you’ll love this book. If you love guns, you’ll love this book. If you love fantasy, and especially horror fantasy, you’ll love this book.”—Knotclan.com “A gun person who likes science fiction—or, heck, anyone who likes science fiction—will enjoy [these books] . . . The plotting is excellent, and Correia makes you care about the characters . . . I read both books without putting them down except for work . . . so whaddaya waitin’ for? Go and buy some . . . for yourself and for stocking stuffers.”—Massad Ayoob “This lighthearted, testosterone-soaked sequel to 2009's Monster Hunter International will delight fans of action horror with elaborate weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, disgusting monsters, and an endless stream of blood and body parts.”—Publishers Weekly on Monster Hunter Vendetta About Mission: Tomorrow, edited by Bryan Thomas Schmidt: “This themed anthology . . . will appeal to a wide range of readers, who will appreciate the diversity of stories . . . a solid introduction to a classic genre.”—Kirkus “Editor Schmidt adds grandmasters to a mix of newer established names and balances the tragic with the humorous.”—Publishers Weekly About Shattered Shields, edited by Jennifer Brozek and Bryan Thomas Schmidt: “In this well-built anthology, seventeen original stories cut to the heart of military fantasy, diving directly into the most exciting moments of dramatic bravery, grand battles, and life-changing heroism. . . . Readers who prefer to cut straight to the action, but want more depth than pure hack-and-slash, will find these offerings appealing.”—Publishers Weekly “An inventive and thought-provoking set of tales that capture the bravery and terrors of battle. Carries the banner of military fantasy proudly.”—John Marco, author of The Bronze Knight Series About The Raygun Chronicles, edited by Bryan Thomas Schmidt: “Fans of sf should enjoy this stylistically varied homage to a genre as old as the fiction . . . ”—Library Journal The Monster Hunter Memoirs series by Larry Correia and John Ringo: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Grunge Monster Hunter Memoirs: Sinners The Monster Hunter series by Larry Correia: Monster Hunter International Monster Hunter Vendetta Monster Hunter Alpha Monster Hunter Legion Monster Hunter Nemesis




Unidentified Funny Objects 6


Book Description

SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR * Cranky Goblin Cooks * Unscrupulous Chemists * Lecherous Space Pirates * Disagreeable Alien Symbiotes * Soul-Searching Snot Elementals The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny. zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch. Jim Hines reimagines a Game of Thrones with goblins in it, Ken Liu begs a sentient AI to spare him, and Esther Friesner takes us on a tour of Chelm, complete with dragons and gratuitous footnotes. There are also tales of an interdimensional secret agent, a warrior-writer on a quest from an evil god, a necromancer intent on rehabilitating the image of his profession, and many more. TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Alex Shvartsman “A Game of Goblins” by Jim C. Hines “The Breakdown of Parasite/Host Relationship” by Paul R. Hardy “From This She Makes a Living?” by Esther Friesner “Twenty-Nine Responses to Inquiries About My Craigslist Post: Alien Spaceship for Sale $200, You Haul” by Tina Connolly “Tyler the Snot Elemental Scours the Newspaper, Searching for Change” by Zach Shephard “Agent of Chaos” by Jack Campbell “Display of Affection” by P. J. Sambeaux “The Great Manhattan Eat-Off” by Mike Resnick “An Evil Opportunity Employer” by Lawrence Watt-Evans “Common Scents” by Jody Lynn Nye “A Mountain Man and a Cat Walk into a Bar” by Alan Dean Foster “Lost and Found” by Laura Resnick “A Crawlspace Full of Prizes” by Bill Ferris “Return to Sender” by Melissa Mead “The Friendly Necromancer” by Rod M. Santos “An Open Letter to the Sentient AI Who Has Announced Its Intention to Take Over the Earth” by Ken Liu “Approved Expense” by David Vierling “Alexander Outland: Space Jockey” by Gini Koch “Dear Joyce” by Langley Hyde “Impress Me, Then We’ll Talk About the Money” by Tatiana Ivanova (translated from Russian by Alex Shvartsman)




Little Blue Marble 2017


Book Description

Now in a single collection by editor Katrina Archer, get all of the short climate fiction published by Little Blue Marble in 2017. M. Darusha Wehm shows us our blue marble as viewed from Mars. Anatoly Belilovsky meditates on family and love in a drowned future Ireland. Alex Shvartsman controls the weather. Robert Dawson evokes the nostalgia of a child for gas-powered cars. Holly Schofield's highlights wildlife in distress with an allegory of clowns. Liam Hogan takes the slacker's doctrine to its logical extreme. Matt Colborn's toaster fixes the planet. William Delman gives us quiet persistence in the face of disaster. And Ariel Bolton investigates the plight of refugees from the North Pole. Get inspired to change our climate for the better with stories from these distinctive voices of speculative fiction.