F*cking History


Book Description

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life. Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born. The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.




Fucking History


Book Description

If you disliked learning about history in school, it's because you didn't have a teacher like this. Intelligent, brutally honest, and crude ¿ learning about history doesn't suck when you're learning from The Captain. Each of his 52 lessons bridges the gap between history and everyday life with relatable topics and an outlook that can only be described as "slightly f'd up."




On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down


Book Description

Sh!t happens. Every day. Mae West was sent to jail for “corrupting the morals of youth” with her first Broadway play. When participation in the Hitler Youth became mandatory in Germany, groups of teen “pirates” rebelled. Muhammad Ali refused to “drop bombs and bullets on brown people” in Vietnam. A dog sled relay carried life-saving medicine 674 miles through –50 temperatures to rescue children dying from diphtheria. The Dionne Quintuplets were stolen by the Canadian government and displayed like zoo animals for profit. Indian princess Noor Inayat Khan was one of the most successful spies against the Nazis in World War II. A children’s television show called Caillou tortured parents for more than a decade . . . Sh!t goes down every single day of the year, year after year. Sometimes it’s a battle that changes the course of history, other times it’s a life-saving medical advancement. Bravery is counter-balanced with cowardice. There is slavery and there is self-sacrifice. History is replete with deeds both noble and despicable. Some were motivated by greed, others generosity. Many dedicated themselves to the art of killing, while others focused their efforts on curing. There have been grave mistakes and moments of greatness. Confrontation and cooperation. Early in the twentieth century Spanish philosopher George Santayana wrote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” But history serves not just as a warning; it also offers encouragement. Humanity is not endless suck. There is inspiration to be found amidst the atrocities. On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down will significantly expand your knowledge of world history in the most hilarious and profane way possible.




Humans


Book Description

“If Sapiens was a testament to human sophistication, this history of failure cheerfully reminds us that humans are mostly idiots.” —Greg Jenner, author of A Million Years in a Day Now an International Bestseller A Toronto Star–Bestselling Book of the Year Modern humans have come a long way in the seventy thousand years they’ve walked the earth. Art, science, culture, trade—on the evolutionary food chain, we’re true winners. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, and sometimes—just occasionally—we’ve managed to truly f*ck things up. Weaving together history, science, politics and pop culture, Humans offers a panoramic exploration of humankind in all its glory, or lack thereof. From Lucy, our first ancestor, who fell out of a tree and died, to General Zhou Shou of China, who stored gunpowder in his palace before a lantern festival, to the Austrian army attacking itself one drunken night, to the most spectacular fails of the present day, Humans reveals how even the most mundane mistakes can shift the course of civilization as we know it. Lively, wry and brimming with brilliant insight, this unique compendium offers a fresh take on world history and is one of the most entertaining reads of the year. “It’s hard to imagine someone other than Phillips pulling off a 250+ page roast of mankind, but his perfect blend of brilliance and goofiness makes it a joy to read.” —Buzzfeed “With the delicate touch of a scholar and the laugh-out-loud chops of a comedian, Tom Phillips shows us how our species has been messing things up . . . [for] four million years.” —Steve Brusatte, New York Times–bestselling author




Total F*cking Godhead


Book Description

“Total F*cking Godhead brings Chris Cornell, the voice of a generation, alive on the page. Impressively researched and compulsively readable, Godhead pulls no punches in recounting Cornell’s remarkable life and prolific career. It’s an inspired chronicle of an impassioned soul. Read it!” —Greg Renoff, author of Van Halen Rising With input from those who knew and worked with him—together with his own words—Total F*cking Godhead recounts the rise of Chris Cornell and his immortal band Soundgarden as they emerged from the 1980s post-punk underground to dominate popular culture in the ’90s alongside Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, and Nirvana. “From his days as a struggling Seattle musician at the forefront of the grunge scene to becoming a global icon, Total F*cking Godhead thoroughly chronicles the life story and prolific output of one of the greatest and most influential singers of all time. You will discover the man and his music all over again.” —David de Sola, author of Alice in Chains: The Untold Story Seattle resident and rock writer Corbin Reiff also examines Cornell’s dynamic solo career as well as his time in Audioslave. He delves into his hard-fought battle with addiction, and the supercharged reunion with the band that made him famous before everything came to a shocking end. “For those of us still trying to sort out the tragedy of Chris Cornell's death comes this loving look back at the man's life and music. I wrote my own book about grunge, and I still learned a lot from this excellent biography." —Mark Yarm, author of Everybody Loves Our Town: An Oral History of Grunge




F*ck It, I'll Start Tomorrow


Book Description

A no-holds-barred chronicle meets self-help guide from the bestselling author, rapper, artist, and chef Action Bronson From the New York Times bestselling author, chef-turned-rapper, and host of Viceland’s F*ck, That’s Delicious and The Untitled Action Bronson Show, F*ck It, I’ll Start Tomorrow is a brutally honest chronicle about struggles with weight, food addiction, and the journey to self-acceptance. In his signature voice, Action Bronson shares all that he’s learned in the past decade to help you help yourself. This isn’t a road map to attaining a so-called perfect body. Instead, Bronson will share his journey to find confidence, keep the negative vibes at bay, stay sane, chill out, and not look in the mirror hoping to see anyone but yourself. F*ck It, I’ll Start Tomorrow is not about losing weight—it’s about being and feeling excellent regardless of your size or shape. It’s about living f*cking healthy, period.




Another F*cking Coloring Book


Book Description

Rude, funny, and f*cking awesome! Another F*ing Coloring Book is perfect for anyone who knows that neither sunshine and kittens nor gardens and mandalas can fix everything. The funny, relatable swears and phrases that accompany the paisley patterns, meditative mandalas, and all that other shit will help you express your frustration with--or add your own dark shade of humor to--any situation. Whether you need to unwind after a hellish day or simply want to let the world know you've got better things to do with your time, you'll find a cheerfully profane and delightfully inappropriate image perfectly designed to calm you the f*ck down.




There Is No F*cking Secret


Book Description

People ask Kelly Osbourne all the time: “What’s your secret?” Kelly Osbourne may not always have been a typical role model, but no one can say that her perspective isn’t hard won after spending three decades in the spotlight: from growing up completely exposed to the heavy metal scene—replete with crazy antics most readers have only begun to hear about—to spending her teenage years as the wild middle child of an even wilder Ozzy Osbourne, to the family’s popular stint on their wacky eponymous reality show. Since then, Osbourne has forged her own path as a style icon and powerful woman in the media who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is and be honest with her fans. But being the daughter of a music legend hasn’t always been glamorous; growing up Osbourne is an experience that Kelly wouldn’t trade, but there are battle scars, and she is finally now ready to embrace and reveal their origins. Told as a series of letters to various people and places in her life, There Is No F*cking Secret gives readers an intimate look at the stories and influences that have shaped Osbourne’s highly speculated-about life, for better or for worse. The stories will make readers’ jaws drop, but ultimately, they will come away empowered to forge their own path to confidence, no matter how deranged and out of control it may be, and to learn the ultimate lesson: that there just is no f*cking secret.




The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck


Book Description

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.




Shit Is Fucked Up And Bullshit


Book Description

From the writer hailed for giving voice to a generation in Kids These Days comes a bold rejection of a society in which inequality, police violence, and exploitation have come to define our lives In these new and selected pieces, Malcolm Harris, one of our sharpest and most versatile critics, examines everything from the lowering of wages to the rise of fascism—and the maddening cultural landscape in between. Along the way, he explores protest strategies past and present; questions the wrong (and often racist) lessons we’ve learned from American history; and, most comfortingly, assures us that Marx saw the necessity of a crisis moment just like the one we're in. Rarely does a writer come along who can turn our world so thoroughly upside down that we can finally understand it for what it really is, but Harris's wry and biting essays do just that, and help us laugh at what we see. Our economic situation, political discourse, and future prospects have gotten much worse since a guy brought a sign that said "Shit is Fucked Up and Bullshit" to the Occupy Wall Street protests. We all knew what he meant then . . . but where are we now? And how has so much happened since the so-called end of history? The over thirty pieces collected here offer compelling answers to these questions and more.