Fart Squad #3: Unidentified Farting Objects


Book Description

It's the third adventure from the bloaters of the big leagues, the stinkers to the stars, the gassians of the galaxy . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and porta-potties full of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish. When Darren Stonkadopolis claims he's had a close encounter of the stinky kind, the other Fart Squad members think he's full of hot air. But then the alien Stink Weeds descend, and the Fart Squad is forced to smell the truth. It'll take some Weedwacking, stealthy stench tactics, and buttfuls of gas so smelly they'd make the sun blush to stop these mutant extraterrestrial vegetables from universal stinkination.




F is for FART #2


Book Description

If F is for FART blew you away with its hysterical humor, you will surely love F is for FART #2. F is for FART #2 is about farts. Yes, farts. It's also about ABCs, rhymes, and animals-but it's mostly about farts, and making you and your loved ones laugh about farts. Each letter stands for an animal and is accompanied by a rhyme, which is short and stinky-much like farts are stinky. We hope you think this book stinks in all the right ways. What are the right ways? I'm glad you asked. We've got farts that smell, farts that BOOM, farts that TOOT, farts that groan, and plenty of fart FACTS. Was it you? Was it me? No, of course not-it was the animals! We've got animals from Africa, China, and even Rottnest Island! We've got animals from the East and animals from the West; animals from near and animals from far! We've got animals that fly high in the sky and those that swim deep in the sea! We've even got animals from the land down under-even an animal that is extinct! Some farting creatures live in forests; others live in trees! Just buy the book and you-you will see; just buy the book-just buy it, please! Worried that we've skipped a favorite animal of yours? I don't think so! We've got ... A for alpaca B for brown bear C for chimpanzee D for dolphin E for elk F for fox G for gorilla H for horse I for impala J for jackal K for koala L for lion M for moose N for numbat O for owl P for panda Q for quokka R for rat S for seal T for tiger U for unicorn fish V for vampire bat W for walrus X for xenoceratops (ZEE-no-SEH-rah-tops) Y for yellow mongoose and Z for zebu. If your kids love farts as much as ours, we're sure this book will be a favorite, so please consider adding it to your library. Mr. Smelt It and Mrs. Dealt It Also available F is for FART handwriting activity book F is for FART coloring book P is for POOPS The EMBARRASSED UNICORN A is for AVIATION N is for NATIONAL PARKS




Fart Squad #5: Underpantsed!


Book Description

It’s the fifth adventure from the crack of the crop, the bum de la bum, the stink of the litter . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt load of bathroom humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish. Underwear is disappearing all over Buttzville, and it’s up to the Fart Squad to sniff out the villain who’s brought the city to a chafing halt. But the heroes better hold on to their tighty-whities. Doctor Lucius René Bottom is out to pants the city that yanked his underwear business out from beneath him—and take the Fart Squad down, too. Get ready to go commando like no kid has gone before, because the Fart Squad is filling with fuel, gaining gas, and getting ready to kick some Bottom with the foulest fart attack in the history of Buttzville!




Fart Squad #6: Blast from the Past


Book Description

It’s the sixth adventure from the crack of the crop, the wild at fart, the first in gas, the fart-astic four . . . the fearless FART SQUAD! Here ye, here ye, good sirs and ladies! The magnificent Fart Squad has arrived to pull ye olde Golden Scratcher from a stone as tough as buns of steel. The Fart Squad must travel back in time to rescue the Golden Scratcher before Harry Buttz can get his hands on it—and leave the world in an itchy mess. Can the heroes of Buttzville cut the cheese on his stinky plan and save history? This laugh-out-loud chapter book series is perfect for Captain Underpants fans. With black-and-white illustrations throughout and a butt-load of kid-perfect humor, young readers will be giggling from start to finish.




Figuring Shit Out


Book Description

"Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.




The Things They Carried


Book Description

A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.




Spin


Book Description

One night in October when he was ten years old, Tyler Dupree stood in his back yard and watched the stars go out. They all flared into brilliance at once, then disappeared, replaced by a flat, empty black barrier. He and his best friends, Jason and Diane Lawton, had seen what became known as the Big Blackout. It would shape their lives. The effect is worldwide. The sun is now a featureless disk - a heat source, rather than an astronomical object. The moon is gone, but tides remain. Not only have the world's artificial satellites fallen out of orbit, their recovered remains are pitted and aged, as though they'd been in space far longer than their known lifespans. As Tyler, Jason, and Diane grow up, space probe reveals a bizarre truth: The barrier is artificial, generated by huge alien artifacts. Time is passing faster outside the barrier than inside - more than a hundred million years per day on Earth. At this rate, the death throes of the sun are only about forty years in our future. Jason, now a promising young scientist, devotes his life to working against this slow-moving apocalypse. Diane throws herself into hedonism, marrying a sinister cult leader who's forged a new religion out of the fears of the masses. Earth sends terraforming machines to Mars to let the onrush of time do its work, turning the planet green. Next they send humans...and immediately get back an emissary with thousands of years of stories to tell about the settling of Mars. Then Earth's probes reveal that an identical barrier has appeared around Mars. Jason, desperate, seeds near space with self-replicating machines that will scatter copies of themselves outward from the sun - and report back on what they find. Life on Earth is about to get much, much stranger.




Six Tires, No Plan


Book Description

Most Unlikely to Succeed No one who charted Bruce Halle's early years would predict that the poor kid from New Hampshire might achieve greatness as an adult. Challenged in school and growing up in a struggling family, Halle looked like every other kid who would leave high school in the 1940s and disappear into a factory. Instead, Halle created one of America's most respected companies, rose to join the Forbes magazine list of the four hundred richest Americans and serve as the role model for the ordinary Joes who seek out success at Discount Tire Company. Six Tires, No Plan maps Halle's journey out of poverty and failure and reveals the deceptively simple values that drive success for him, his company and thousands of employees. Key among those principles is Halle's commitment to passing on his good fortune to the thousands of employees who serve his customers every day. This is Halle's true passion, and paying it forward to the ordinary guy is a cornerstone of Discount Tire's ongoing success. Avoiding the spotlight, crediting his employees for the success of the company, Halle demonstrates the incredible power of perseverance and fundamental values to create long-term success. His journey offers a roadmap worth following in both career and life.




Breakout Squad


Book Description

A Jedi general vanishes to a distant world, leaving his apprentice and a group of untested clone troopers to complete a dangerous mission. Trapped in Wild Space in the far reaches of the galaxy, the inexperienced team must look for help from smugglers and bounty hunters. With few options and time running out, they need all the help they can get.




Ask a Manager


Book Description

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together