Fat, Dumb, and Ugly


Book Description

The world's lone superpower...supreme guardian of democracy...and home of the blithely uninformed and epidemically obese. Welcome to America -- pull up a chair, click on the tube, and grab a donut. Concerned Citizen Peter Strupp is shocked and bothered by what he sees. It seems we're not as thin, smart, and good-looking as we like to think. Packed with real facts and statistics, Fat, Dumb, and Ugly takes readers on an eye-opening, laugh-out-loud, and at times horrifying tour of the numbers that shape our country: • Percentage of adults in the United States who are overweight: 64.5 • Percentage of Americans who believe they have actually spoken with Satan: 5 • Percentage of voters for whom Saturday Night Live and MTV are primary sources of information about presidential candidates: 16 • Average number of pink lawn flamingos sold annually in America: 250,000 A wickedly hilarious and addictive cultural snapshot of our nation of conspicuous consumers, fast-food fanatics, and dumbed-down dolts, Fat, Dumb, and Ugly casts a revealing spotlight on John Q. Public, the average American -- and it's not always pretty.




Fat, Stupid, Ugly


Book Description

In the spirit of A Child Called "It" comes an amazing story of resilience from a woman who triumphed over child abuse, cancer, and alcoholism to founder of A Place Called Home. "I began life, it would seem, as some kind of Grimm's fairy tale creature, large and oafish, undesirable, grossly imperfect. Neatly penned in my baby book were the words, 'Debbie was a fat, unattractive baby.' Fat and ugly aside, my life was fairly normal for a couple of years. It would be a while before the abuse began. Before the smoking and pills, the rage and rebellion, the alcoholism and cancer, the broken marriages. In those first uncomplicated years I could have set out on any of a dozen different paths toward an orderly life . . . it was not to be. . . . But this is not a story of defeat." This is a book about surviving. It's about hope. It's about how each of us-ordinary, imperfect, damaged-can dream and heal. This book weaves the humorous, often outrageous, always courageous tapestry of Debrah Constance's life. Voted Woman of the Year by the State of California Legislature for founding A Place Called Home, (APCH) an organization providing services to at-risk inner-city kids in South Los Angeles, she proves that anyone can rise above life's obstacles and make a better life for themselves-and others.




Fat Dumb and Ugly


Book Description

A wickedly hilarious cultural skewering of our nation of soft-heads (and softer midsections), "Fat, Dumb, and Ugly" casts a revealing spotlight on John Q. Public--the average American.




Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations


Book Description

Move over P.J. O'Rourke! From Al Franken, America's premier liberal satirist, comes a hilarious homage to the wonderful, awful, and always absurd American political process that skewers a whole new crop of presidential hopefuls--just in time for the 1996 presidential election. "(Franken is) responsible in part for some of the most brilliant political satire of our time".--John Podhoretz, New York Post.




Michael Moore Is a Big Fat Stupid White Man


Book Description

How, they ask, does Moore pull off his proletarian, "man-of-the-people" image so at odds with his lifestyle as a fabulously wealthy Manhattanite?




Yo' Mama Is So...


Book Description

It's everyone's favorite form of insult comedy (as seen on MTV!) -- hundreds of crushingly funny one-liners about "yo' mama" -- and all yo' other relatives -- sure to shut people's mouths or make them howl with laughter. Yo' mama is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. Yo' mama is so old that when she was young, rainbows were black and white. Yo' mama is so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo' mama is so dumb that when she saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. Yo' mama's so short you can see her feet on her driver's license. So dumb, so fat, so ugly, and so old have never been SO FUNNY, thanks to this exhaustive and inventive assortment of laugh-out-loud one-line jokes sure to cause a sensation. Hundreds of quotable and easy-to-remember quips have been gathered here by a comedy master, and the result is a relentless collection of wholesome, all-in-good-fun nastiness for every occasion. Divided into handy categories (in case you happen to need a boatload of fat jokes, skinny jokes, or whatever) Yo' Mama Is So . . . is an essential addition to the humor shelf of any self-respecting smart aleck. Hey . . . what did you call my mama??!!




Ugly


Book Description

A funny, moving, and true story of an ordinary boy with an extraordinary face that's perfect for fans of Wonder—now available in the U.S. When Robert Hoge was born, he had a tumor the size of a tennis ball in the middle of his face and short, twisted legs. Surgeons removed the tumor and made him a new nose from one of his toes. Amazingly, he survived—with a face that would never be the same. Strangers stared at him. Kids called him names, and adults could be cruel, too. Everybody seemed to agree that he was “ugly.” But Robert refused to let his face define him. He played pranks, got into trouble, had adventures with his big family, and finally found a sport that was perfect for him to play. And Robert came face to face with the biggest decision of his life, he followed his heart. This poignant memoir about overcoming bullying and thriving with disabilities shows that what makes us “ugly” also makes us who we are. It features a reflective foil cover and black-and-white illustrations throughout.




The DUFF


Book Description

An irreverent and irresistible New York Times bestselling romance between the so-called Designated Ugly Fat Friend and the Hot Jock. Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper may not be the prettiest girl in her high school, but she has a loyal group of friends, a biting wit, and a spot-on BS detector. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush, who calls Bianca the Duff—the Designated Ugly Fat Friend—of her crew. But things aren't so great at home and Bianca, desperate for a distraction, ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it. Eager for escape, Bianca throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with him. Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.




Don't Worry, It Gets Worse


Book Description

Alida Nugent graduated college with a degree in one hand and a drink in the other, eager to trade in parties and all-nighters for “the real world.” But post-grad wasn’t the glam life she imagined. Soon buried under a pile of bills, laundry, and three-dollar bottles of wine, it quickly became clear that she had no idea what she was doing. But hey, what twentysomething does? In Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse, Nugent shares what it takes to make the awkward leap from undergrad to “mature and responsible adult that definitely never eats peanut butter straight from the jar and considers it a meal.” From trying to find an apartment on the black hole otherwise known as Craigslist to the creative maneuvering needed to pay off student loans and still enjoy happy hour, Nugent documents the formative moments of being a twentysomething with a little bit of snark and a lot of heart. Perfect for fans of HBO's Girls and Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half, and based on her popular Tumblr blog The Frenemy, Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse is a love note to boozin’, bitchin’ ladies everywhere.




Why We Suck


Book Description

The New York Times bestseller One of America’s most original and biting comic satirists, Denis Leary takes on all the poseurs, politicians, and pop culture icons who have sucked in public for far too long. Sparing no one, Leary zeroes in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it—his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics—with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for CancerLock ’n Load. Proudly Irish-American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are both penetrating social commentary with no holds barred and laugh-out-loud funny. As always, Leary’s impassioned comic perspective in Why We Suck is right on target. Leary is the star and co-creator of the Emmy-nominated television show Rescue Me.