Book Description

This book describes my experiences being subjected to and living with abuse during my childhood and early adult years in the Lubavitch-Chabad community, in Brooklyn, New York. I discuss the effects this physical, emotional and psychological abuse had on my development and life, which resulted in my leaving this community and lifestyle. When I grew up in this community, the topic of abuse was either denied, or spoken about in whispers. Generally, even if abuse of a child was known, it was not reported to law enforcement, and the child was not protected from further abuse. The topic of reporting such crimes to the law enforcement authorities, for eventual criminal prosecution, is referred to as 'mosur' a term of revilement. Such a person, regardless of the crime(s) committed, is protected by the Jewish community and the victim is forced to face the abuse by himself/herself, without the benefit of communal embrace for resolution. Moreover, Jewish law excoriates a 'mosur' / informer, by exclusion from normative communal membership. These exclusions are embodied in codes of Jewish law which formalizes the process by vilifying the informer. The victim thereby faces a double attack. The first is by the predator, and the second by the code of silence forced upon the victim. The primary focus of this book regards the physical attack I endured at the hands of my mother. She was angered by my non-diligence in religious study motivating her to try to break my arm. I was eight years old at the time. And she was following the actions of another mother who broke the arm of her son for the same perverse reason. this attack was a life changing event. It forced to identify my mother, and others, as persons who represented a great danger to me, necessitating measures that resulted in distance and eventual examination of the fundamentals of this religious life and identity. I describe the other Jewish family that similarly abused a child. Similar to my own circumstance, no investigation or prosecution was ever conducted. I remain convinced other families from these ultra-Orthodox (Charedi) Jewish communities experienced similar, or worse, violence, but such violence was muted and not reported. My father was aware of the attack but did not intervene. I discuss the details of the abuse, as well as its aftermath, and the larger concatenates these events caused in my life. I conclude my narrative by stating that these acts, and especially community refusal to acknowledge and respond, is shameful and indefensible. A few persons reviewed this material prior to publication. While I remain grateful for their comments and recommendations, the publication reflects my own insights and I remain responsible for any errors or oversights.