Handpicked Animal Humor


Book Description

Not Again! More buggers, creatures, and animals on my cemented land! Do they not know they belong in a field where they can roam, play, and live away from me! You won't see me on there grounds asking them to come visit my house. One because I don't speak their language and two there's not an app for that! And if you could contact me somehow it better not be through the phone because I just blocked your name, number, and all contacts!




Handpicked Animal Humor


Book Description

This book is filled with plenty of Handpicked Animal Humor. Here the author is trying to protect her territory again by informing her family to be ready for battle against neighborhood animals. Is her hometown facing a critical mini war? Is it woman against beast? Holy God, please intervene here because we need your help.




Handpicked Husband


Book Description

The whole state of Texas is convinced Autumn Reese was born to be Clayton Barnett's bride. And nothing she or Clay say or do can convince the world otherwise. Unless, of course, they find their own marriage partners? Which is why they've both signed up with the Yellow Rose Matchmakers. Only, watching Clay date other women has made Autumn realize that perhaps the man she's always thought of as Mr. Wrong may be oh so right!




Thrown Under the Omnibus


Book Description

An essential collection of career-spanning writings by the political satirist and #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Parliament of Whores. From his early pieces for the National Lampoon, through his classic reporting as Rolling Stone’s International Affairs editor in the 1980s and 1990s, and his brilliant, inimitable political journalism and analysis, P. J. O’Rourke has been entertaining and provoking readers with high octane prose, a gonzo Republican attitude, and a rare ability to make you laugh out loud. Christopher Buckley once described his work as “S. J. Perelman on acid.” Thrown Under the Omnibus brings together his funniest, most outrageous, most controversial, and most loved pieces in the definitive O’Rourke reader. Handpicked and introduced by the humorist himself, Thrown Under the Omnibus is the essential O’Rourke anthology. “The funniest writer in America.” —The Wall Street Journal




In One Hand


Book Description

IN ONE HAND demonstrates the authors ability to evoke the street life of New York City, and allows the reader to delve into the mind of Tony Sardelli, a man who, on the exterior, is cold and tough. The author brings to him, however, a sensitivity and understanding which deepens the portrait of a basically gentle man. The seemingly contradictory facets of his personality are seen throughout his affair with Dana Lynn. On the surface, anyone who knew Tony would take him for a very lucky man. After all, he has a beautiful wife, satisfying career and an on-going affair with seductive movie star but the reader is privy to the inner turmoil that the affair is causing him. The author has a wry way with vernacular English prose, and his characterizations allows the reader to "know" the many people that Tony comes in contact with........... Tami C. Editorial Coordinator ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... IN ONE HAND is a story depicting a man's hardships in life when someone or something he learns to love is given to him and then almost as quickly, gets taken away. The story takes place in an era of inquiry and surprise, the 1960's, which is exactly what this book has to entail. The author will keep you guessing and in shock to the very last page. He is able to capture you in the story and embrace you with the details and emotions of the main character's life; never to forget that life is what you make it and sometimes that isn't enough. The characters sketch themselves before the reader's very eyes to convey a sense of understanding of the main character. Overall, I adored the book and couldn't help but fall under enchantment with the blessings and unfortunate happenings to Tony Sardelli....... Lauren P.




Tundra


Book Description

From the vast frozen wilderness of Alaska, Chad Carpenter brings Tundra. The National Cartoonists Society named Tundra as the Best Newspaper Panel Cartoon of the Year in 2007. These are award-winning cartoons from a naturally wonderful place. A tour guide might overlook some of the more quirky aspects of Alaska, but Carpenter sees it in a completely different light (even if that light only shows itself part of the year). Carpenter gives nature's residents, the furry and the not-so-furry, full attention. He also gives them voices that can bring a tear of laughter to the eye. Tundra is full of talking snowmen, inept hunters, obsessed fishermen, and inviting wildlife looking for their next meal. It's also packed with an abundance of hilarity. Tundra: Nature's Favorite Comic Strip features a "best of" collection with 560 cartoons from over 16 years of syndication.




Embrace the Lessons


Book Description

This book was not intended to be about me. It is a memoir, yet, I truly do not consider myself so significant that anyone would want to read my memoirs. It consists of stories throughout my life that have been significant because of the lessons learned. If not for the belief that I am here as a student, in this University called Earth, with the ultimate goal of evolving spiritually, then life in and of itself would be an existential purgatory. I write to teach. The paradox is that we are alone in this journey called life, yet we are never truly alone. We are all connected. Embrace the Lessons speaks to a Universal truth that acknowledges that the purpose of the human experience is to grow as spiritual beings. I share with you my personal stories of transcendence, in the hopes that you will become open to your own. You are invited to open yourself to the lessons that Life has to offer. Embrace the Lessons is a look inside one womans journey to remain on the path of healing and transcendence. Much of this book was written over the course of three decades. It is packed with insight and inspiration. It is thought provoking, heart-felt, and entertaining. It is written for you. It is written to inspire you to engage in frequent acts of courage and stamina in order to awaken to your own personal growth and transformation. Awaken to your Teachers. Listen, watch, and observe the many forms in which they appear. Fear not. Open your mind and heart in order to Embrace the Lessons.




Handpicked Husband & The Bride Next Door


Book Description

Romance on the Texas frontier Handpicked Husband Regina Nash must marry one of the men her grandfather has chosen for her or lose custody of her nephew. But Reggie knows marriage is not for her, so she must persuade them—and Adam Barr, her grandfather’s envoy—that she’d make a thoroughly unsuitable wife. Adam is drawn to the free-spirited photographer, but his job was to make sure Regina chose from the men he escorted to Texas—not marry her himself! The Bride Next Door Daisy Johnson is ready to settle in Turnabout, Texas, open a restaurant and perhaps find a husband. Of course, she’d envisioned a man who actually likes her, not someone who offers a marriage of convenience to avoid scandal. Newspaper reporter Everett Fulton may find himself suddenly married, but his dreams of leaving haven’t changed. What Daisy wants—home, family, tenderness—he can’t provide…




Jane Delaney Humorous Mystery Series: Books 1-3 Box Set


Book Description

“Look out, Janet Evanovich: Jane Delaney is a worthy rival of Stephanie Plum. Bright, smart, and incredibly funny, Undertaking Irene is a delightful laugh-out-loud roller-coaster ride.” — Lorna Barrett, New York Times best-selling author of Book Clubbed “Engaging and hilarious, Uprooting Ernie is the perfect summer read with its Long Island setting, light (but not trite) prose and very human humor.” — Tamsen Schultz, best-selling author of the Windsor Series mysteries “Uprooting Ernie is an intriguing murder mystery, full of twists and turns, interesting characters, and hilarious escapades you don’t want to miss.” — Angel Sefer, best-selling author of The Greek Isles Series “Witty characters, humorous story line and a plot so fun you won’t want to stop reading this book!... It’s laugh-out-loud funny and will make people wonder what you are reading!” — Shelley’s Book Case “This one is definitely ♥♥♥♥♥!” — Rantin’, Ravin’, & Reading “Undertaking Irene by Pamela Burford is one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time!... I was laughing out loud right from the start… I can’t wait for book two. If you like humor with your mystery, definitely check this one out!” — Brooke Blogs, 5 Stars! “Quirky characters, an intriguing mystery, and snappy dialogue!” — Escape With Dollycas “I hated to put it down… I will be looking to read other books by Pamela Burford!” — Readalot “Oh what a fun read!... There are some seriously superb ideas in this book! The names especially—I mean, how not to love Sexy Beast, the most adorable, lovable purse-sized doggie in the world, who just happens to be a millionaire, owning a mansion for his house. And his human, the Death Diva (aka Jane Delaney)? Come on, admit you’re smiling at this point... Yeah, lots of good chuckles, a bit of nail-biting suspense, a love triangle of sorts, or at least a good dilemma in the subject—all my faves!!!... Really entertaining book!!! Two thumbs up!” — BookBug's World “The real delight of these books is the humour. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the things that Jane gets herself involved in... I loved this book and really hope that we don't have to wait too long for the next one. I for one, can't wait to see what Jane gets up to next.” — Crazy K.A.L.M. ◊ Death Diva Jane Delaney performs various tasks related to, well, dead folks. When one of those deaths begins to look suspicious, her job description suddenly expands to include amateur sleuthing. But no worries, because Jane’s canine sidekick, Sexy Beast, is there to lend moral support. Book 1: Undertaking Irene Jane Delaney does things her paying customers can’t do, don’t want to do, don’t want to be seen doing, can’t bring themselves to do, and/or don’t want it to be known they’d paid someone to do. To dead people. Life gets complicated for Jane and her Death Diva business when she’s hired to liberate a gaudy mermaid brooch from the corpse during a wake—on behalf of the rightful owner, supposedly. Well, a girl’s got to make a living, and this assignment pays better than scattering ashes, placing flowers on graves, or bawling her eyes out as a hired mourner. Unfortunately for Jane, someone else is just as eager to get his hands on that brooch, and he’s even sneakier than she is, not to mention dangerously sexy. Just when she thinks her biggest problem is grand theft mermaid, things take a murderous turn. But hey, when you’ve teamed up with a neurotic seven-pound poodle named Sexy Beast, how can you go wrong? ◊ Book 2: Uprooting Ernie Death Diva Jane is simply going about her business, which in this case requires her to empty a three-liter spigot box of cheap rosé on a grave, when she and her furry sidekick, Sexy Beast, make a grisly discovery in the town cemetery. The victim was murdered three decades ago, but memories are fresh and old grievances fresher as facts come to light and fingers start pointing. Naturally Jane must investigate. Well, what would you do if one of your best pals turned out to be Suspect Numero Uno? Meanwhile, between her amorous ex and a sexy bad boy who keeps popping up in the most distracting way—not to mention the (creepy? bizarre? pathetic?) guys she’s meeting through a dog lovers’ dating site—her love life has never been so (creepy? bizarre? pathetic?)… interesting. ◊ Book 3: Perforating Pierre Celebrity chef Pierre Dewatre has everything going for him: swoon-worthy looks, a successful restaurant, and a budding TV career, not to mention that drop-dead-sexy French accent. Unfortunately for Pierre, the drop-dead part becomes all too real when Death Diva Jane and her furry little sidekick, Sexy Beast, discover him marinating in his own juices. So to speak. And okay, so the famous chef has been accused of cooking and serving endangered species, but that couldn't possibly have anything to do with his death. Could it? The inept detective in charge of the case has homed in on a single suspect: Jane's ex, who's only the Nicest Guy in the World. She's never gotten over him, even with a certain bad-boy bartender invading her personal space at every opportunity. Throw the victim's hot Parisian brother into the mix and it's little wonder Jane is having trouble concentrating on whodunit. You'd think having a high-strung, seven-pound poodle on your team would be the key to quickly solving a complicated murder. Turns out that's not necessarily the case. Who knew?




Wow, No Thank You.


Book Description

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner • A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” —Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!