How to Fart at Work


Book Description

From the toilet etiquette experts who brought you the global game-changer How to Poo at Work comes an equally essential guide on dealing with flatulence Anyone who has ever worked in an office, or indeed any other enclosed space, has confronted the gut-wrenching problem: to fart or not to fart? Mats & Enzo have spent years studying this fragrant issue--sometimes armed only with a single gas mask for protection. With informative illustrations to elucidate their findings, How to Fart at Work is the practical guide to solving every gaseous situation you might encounter. Whether you smelled it or dealt it, this expert advice will help you smooth your way through these malodorous moments . . . and even teach you how flatulence can further your career




No One Likes a Fart


Book Description

Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.




The Complete Book of Farts


Book Description

From the publisher of the bestselling "Gross" series comes our grossest book yet! flat•u•lence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: an embarrassing by-product of digestion Male: an endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding Since the dawn of time, farting has been with us in all its rich and varied guises. Every nation in the world has developed its own ripe and extensive vocabulary to express the function of farting. Qui a pété? (Who's farted?) the French would ask, while the Chinese have to Fon Pei Ha, the Germans furzen, and the Swedes to fisa. Farting is a universal fascination, and every generation of boys and young men seem to revel in all things farting. For everyone fascinated with farts (and you know who you are!) comes The Complete Book of Farts. Filled with hilarious, real-life experiences and stories (and a lot of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane), this is the perfect companion for all those who fart, and those who don't (or won't admit it). Now, in a single volume, readers will discover: history's greatest farters; recipes for fantastic farts; farting etiquette; farting vocabulary for world travelers; funniest farting jokes, limericks, and quips; true farting confessions; and much more! No other book on farting gives us as much information and hilarity as this year's best gift for every boy (of all ages!) in your life. While there might be other farting-book imitators, only The Complete Book of Farts is the ultimate guide to all things gaseous!




How to Poo at Work


Book Description

The perfect gag gift for anyone who appreciates a little toilet humor! Don't let number 2 stop you from being number 1 on the job. Face the facts. You poop every day-more or less-but making a misstep when you've got to go at the office could land you in some serious doo-doo. How to Poo at Work is the ultimate guide to handling a range of potentially awkward situations, including what to do when: • The boss is in the next stall • The toilet gets clogged • A colleague follows you into the bathroom • There's no toilet paper Flush with useful diagrams, this handy book can save your career from going down the toilet.




How to Fart - Louder, Longer, and Stronger... Without Soiling Your Undies!


Book Description

There are many books on the market giving solutions on how to stop farting. But what is there for people who want to fart more? To fart louder? To fart longer? To fart stronger...both pressure wise, and smell wise? Those that want to become champions at passing wind? Those that want to exercise their right to free speech, and exercise their sphincters at the same time? Those who say to hell with the clean air bill? And to those who want to fart responsibly, and not leave skid marks. And to those that just want to have fun! Well, to all those people, this book is written for you! In this concise, no fluff (well, actually full of fluff and hot air) report you'll learn to do exactly what the book title says... Fart louder, longer and stronger. In this short read you'll learn to build up the fart pressure with scientific food combining, and how to release it at will with advanced bowel control. Impress your friends, relatives, and partners. You'll be the talk of the town. Learn to create copious amounts of wind, and how to utilize it for best effect. You'll learn how to generate the gas, how to control and propel it, and how to make it smell beastly! From meek and mild through too big, bold and offensive...in fact deadly! Use these skills to clear a long bank queue, get a seat on a crowded train or bus, get extra leg room on a long flight, in fact the possibilities are endless. Go into stealth mode and watch people give each other the hairy eye ball as they try to figure out who dropped the clanger. Movie theaters, restaurants, amusement rides...nothing is safe...nothing is out of bounds. Get creative! Use your new found super powers to go above and beyond what others thought possible. Use shock and awe tactics. Singe peoples nose hairs. Create havoc. Have them gagging, and gasping for air. But with these new found powers comes great responsibility. Use them for good. Clear a bus to make a seat for a little old lady...and let someone else take the blame! (Insert evil chuckle here). Everything and anything is possible in this new paradigm of achievement that you will find your life propelled into. Blast yourself into success. Rise to heights and levels previously unimaginable. The world truly is your oyster, or perhaps I should say pickled egg. Forget about dropping your lunch, that will all be behind you...think about dropping a whole shopping trolley of cheese, tasty! Based on real science and food chemistry, this book is very much a practical guide, without getting bogged down too deeply into technical crap. Prac, not crap. There are enough scientific facts to keep the more technically minded satisfied. Onward and upward, go boldly forward into a hole (pun intended) new level of achievement, recognition, and farting pleasure. You will now be a famed Fartiste, and the envy of your colleagues, friends, and work mates. Walk tall, with your nose held high. You will exude a presence that commands attention. At last, gain the respect you deserve. OK, that's enough reading this blurb. Stop dreaming, and get into action and start reaping the rewards of fame and respect. Click the buy now button now, and let the fun begin!




How to Fart at School ...


Book Description

The definitive guide to playing tricks in school Be the envy of your classmates and the talk of the staff room! This book contains tons of tricks that will crown you the pran-King (or Queen) of your school. School can be a be a dull place (unless you're a teacher's pet) so every now and then someone has to step up and break the tedium. Nothing improves a boring lesson like a well-timed fart--it's guaranteed to stimulate lively debate (whodunnit?) and may even signal an early break. This is the ultimate guide to practical jokes--designed to liven up your timetable and make you the hero of the classroom. There are 68 cunning tricks, each one carefully explained and given a difficulty rating, or kudos should you actually get away with it!




Fart Proudly


Book Description

Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.




The Fart Party


Book Description

"[C]ollects the acclaimed and controversial web comic and zine. The foul-mouthed and hilarious stories here follow the life of Julia, a twentysomething woman living in San Francisco" from publisher's blog.




Fart Out Loud


Book Description

From the day you are born, you are told to follow a book of rules. In my teen years, I was told, "You have two options. Become a doctor or an engineer. If you can't do either one of those, at least you could be a lawyer." But it gets better. To reinforce the importance of succeeding in a career that was decided by others, I was instructed, "All you have to do is study hard, get a degree, and find a job. Then you will be able to buy a house and a nice car. You will be well respected." No pressure at all. This is the norm: become like the person next to you to be successful. Then society will accept you. We have built a robust system to support all of it-from education to career to the grave. The problem with this system is that it's getting old. Five decades ago, if you follow the path, you would make it to the top. But no longer. Over the last couple of decades, we have seen drastic changes in our society due to improvements in technology. There are more startups in this world than ever before-a plethora of career paths for us to explore. Sitting at a desk and waiting for your manager to offer you a promotion might not work anymore. Is the promotion years overdue? Does the least qualified person get the pat on the back. Does it seem like you are invisible? Whether it's an interview or meeting, you have to show what you are worth. So ... fart out in style! This book is for those trying to find a way to get past those interviews, gain that promotion, and achieve great career heights. It will help you master the art of showing how good you are through making simple observations and adopting those tactics to navigate corporate politics. You will learn to fart out loud to be successful in your career, gain visibility and achieve what you deserve. "We get limited opportunities in our careers to pursue the goals we dream. There are no shortcuts, but if we know how to fart at the right places, at the right times, we are a step ahead of the rest."




Bulletproof Your Job


Book Description

There's no doubt about it, today's workplace is an uncertain and treacherous territory. Newspaper headlines are proclaiming near record-high levels of unemployment, and, in these tough times, companies are making swift judgments about human capital. The bottom line: No job is safe. But there are tried and true ways to fight off sudden unemployment successfully, and the number one weapon in your arsenal is workplace expert and television and radio personality Stephen Viscusi's career manifesto, Bulletproof Your Job. Based on four simple strategies for dodging the layoff bullet and a long list of ways to implement these strategies, Bulletproof Your Job may save you from your worst enemy at work—which just so happens to be you. Quite simply, observe these imperative rules: Be visible. Be easy. Be useful. Be ready. With plenty of distinct action items, dozens of anecdotal illustrations and examples, and lists and tips for adapting bulletproof strategies to your own situation, Bulletproof Your Job will show you how to leverage the black-and-white stuff—your title, salary, and tenure—with the gray stuff—your relationship with coworkers, visibility in the workplace, and ability to make your boss look good—to ward off the pink stuff—the dreaded layoff notice. While you're at it, you'll be creating a long-term strategy for job security and career advancement that ensures you'll never feel this vulnerable again.