› › I Don T Care If My Best Friend S Mom Is A Sasquatch She S Hot And I M Taking A Shower With Her

I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom Is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 64 pages

File Size : 33,23 MB

Release : 2014-11-07

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.



I Don't Care if My Sasquatch Lover Says the World is Exploding, She's Hot But I Play Bass and There's Nothing Hotter Right Now Than Rap-Rock

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 117 pages

File Size : 13,23 MB

Release : 2015-11-26

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla’s homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn’t keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It’s a hell of a way to travel. But something isn’t right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn’t actually know where she’s going. It’s obvious she’s hiding something from him. And then one fateful night—just as they’re about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree—their lives are forever changed... Because that’s when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can’t he have both? Why is it either Starla’s way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What’s going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead’s new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.



Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

Author : Chuck Klosterman

Publisher : Simon and Schuster

Page : 278 pages

File Size : 12,77 MB

Release : 2004-06-22

Category : History

ISBN : 9780743236010

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Book Description

Now in paperback after six hardback printings, the damn funny...wild collection of bracingly intelligent essays about topics that aren't quite as intelligent as Chuck Klosterman'(Esquire). Following the success of Fargo Rock City, Klosterman, a senior writer at Spin magazine, is back with a hilarious and savvy manifesto for a youth gone wild on pop culture and media, taking on everything from Guns'n'Roses tribute bands to Christian fundamentalism to internet porn. 'Maddeningly smart and funny' - Washington Post'



Eastern Standard Tribe

Author : Cory Doctorow

Publisher : Macmillan

Page : 228 pages

File Size : 13,35 MB

Release : 2005-04

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 9780765310453

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Book Description

Now in softcover, the second novel from one of the hottest writers in modern SF



The Blacker the Robot the Moister the Oyster

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher :

Page : 98 pages

File Size : 47,60 MB

Release : 2017-02-22

Category :

ISBN : 9781543263169

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Book Description

The riveting saga continues! Holly wakes up in a dirt person motel in the middle of nowhere with her runaway Obamacare Sex Robot, half-naked, sweaty with bliss. The night before she'd taken it to new levels. But now she has serious misgivings. She thought she was doing the right thing by stealing the robot away from her criminally sex-crazed husband Bradley, but now the entire country is after her with pitchforks 'n tazers. The police are after her. The army is after her. The Obamacare Death Panels are after her. Fatass Bethany is after her with her weird, fluffy albino pimp friend. Things really heat up when Holly and her Bama-Bot 2000 take a cool, relaxing swim in a high-risk pool in the woods. Soon the water is boiling around them with pleasure and a love that daresn't speak its name. (I'm talking what happens when bodies start slapping, people.) And then things heat up even hotter than that when the Death Panel Goons surround Holly and her new electronic lover, threatening everything just when she's decided her life is finally back on track. In the waning days of the Obama administration, things are really heating up for young female, woman, girl-conservative Holly McQuerty and her runaway pleasure robot that looks suspiciously like our 44th president, and if she's not careful, she just may get woke something fierce in the process. And that goes for you too, Sissy McSnowflake. Trigger warning: Doppelg�nger fingerbangers.



The Circle

Author : Dave Eggers

Publisher : Vintage

Page : 404 pages

File Size : 20,93 MB

Release : 2013-10-08

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 0385351402

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Book Description

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER • A bestselling dystopian novel that tackles surveillance, privacy and the frightening intrusions of technology in our lives—a “compulsively readable parable for the 21st century” (Vanity Fair). When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime. The Circle, run out of a sprawling California campus, links users’ personal emails, social media, banking, and purchasing with their universal operating system, resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency. As Mae tours the open-plan office spaces, the towering glass dining facilities, the cozy dorms for those who spend nights at work, she is thrilled with the company’s modernity and activity. There are parties that last through the night, there are famous musicians playing on the lawn, there are athletic activities and clubs and brunches, and even an aquarium of rare fish retrieved from the Marianas Trench by the CEO. Mae can’t believe her luck, her great fortune to work for the most influential company in the world—even as life beyond the campus grows distant, even as a strange encounter with a colleague leaves her shaken, even as her role at the Circle becomes increasingly public. What begins as the captivating story of one woman’s ambition and idealism soon becomes a heart-racing novel of suspense, raising questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge.



Of Triton

Author : Anna Banks

Publisher : Feiwel & Friends

Page : 257 pages

File Size : 23,43 MB

Release : 2013-05-28

Category : Young Adult Fiction

ISBN : 1250042453

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Book Description

Emma has just learned that her mother is a long-lost Poseidon princess, and now struggles with an identity crisis: As a Half-Breed, she's a freak in the human world and an abomination in the Syrena realm. Syrena law states all Half-Breeds should be put to death. As if that's not bad enough, her mother's reappearance in the Syrena world turns the two kingdoms—Poseidon and Triton—against one another. Which leaves Emma with a decision to make: Should she comply with Galen's request to keep herself safe and just hope for the best? Or should she risk it all and reveal herself—and her Gift—to save a people she's never known? Once again, Anna Banks infuses Emma and Galen's points of view with humor, intrigue, and waves of romance.



The Red Circle

Author : Brandon Webb

Publisher : St. Martin's Press

Page : 444 pages

File Size : 48,95 MB

Release : 2012-04-10

Category : Biography & Autobiography

ISBN : 1250018404

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Book Description

Explosive, revealing, and intelligent, The Red Circle provides a uniquely personal glimpse into one of the most challenging and secretive military training courses in the world. Now including an excerpt from The Killing School: Inside the World's Deadliest Sniper Program BEFORE HE COULD FORGE A BAND OF ELITE WARRIORS... HE HAD TO BECOME ONE HIMSELF. Brandon Webb's experiences in the world's most elite sniper corps are the stuff of legend. From his grueling years of training in Naval Special Operations to his combat tours in the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan, The Red Circle provides a rare and riveting look at the inner workings of the U.S. military through the eyes of a covert operations specialist. Yet it is Webb's distinguished second career as a lead instructor for the shadowy "sniper cell" and Course Manager of the Navy SEAL Sniper Program that trained some of America's finest and deadliest warriors-including Marcus Luttrell and Chris Kyle-that makes his story so compelling. Luttrell credits Webb's training with his own survival during the ill-fated 2005 Operation Redwing in Afghanistan. Kyle went on to become the U.S. military's top marksman, with more than 150 confirmed kills. From a candid chronicle of his student days, going through the sniper course himself, to his hair-raising close calls with Taliban and al Qaeda forces in the northern Afghanistan wilderness, to his vivid account of designing new sniper standards and training some of the most accomplished snipers of the twenty-first century, Webb provides a rare look at the making of the Special Operations warriors who are at the forefront of today's military.



Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Author : Jenny Lawson

Publisher : Penguin

Page : 384 pages

File Size : 30,59 MB

Release : 2012-04-17

Category : Biography & Autobiography

ISBN : 1101573082

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Book Description

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside



Dark Desires

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 69 pages

File Size : 13,9 MB

Release : 2016-10-24

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

What has the world come to? Like many hardworking Americans, Holly and Brad McQuerty's lives have become living nightmares under President Obama's reign: high taxes, the housing crisis he’d caused thanks to the welfare state, gay weddings, the fiascos in Iraq and Benghazi, ISIS, NAFTA, all that climate change mumbo-jumbo, and worst of all: Obamacare—aka The Affordable Care Act—with its Death Panels, enforced premiums and Sex Robots. That's right: OBAMACARE SEX ROBOTS... Sexy cyborgs made by the government to "help" people in times of "need." But do they really help us, or are they here to tear the fabric of America apart boner by aching boner, nipple by tweaked nipple, butt by savaged butt? Holly and Brad are young conservatives and want no part of this bold new future. But one fateful day, Holly catches her husband getting hot and sweaty with one of the devices and soon their lives are changed forever. In a tizzy, Holly runs away with the robot and is chased by everyone: her husband, the police, shady government officials. There seems to be something else going on too, besides one woman and one Kenyan-American robot, on the lam, discovering their bodies and themselves, satiating their dark desires in SUV's and hotel rooms across Connecticut. Big things are happening—history is happening—a history someone or something doesn't want Holly to find out about. In the waning days of the Obama Administration, events are starting to take a dark turn. How deep does the rabbit hole go? How deep does the sheep hole go? Find out the sheep hole's deepness in this seriously hot, dark and sexy new series of thrillers from author Lacey Noonan: "My Obamacare Nightmare," available in ebook and paperback. Trigger Warning: Doppleganger Fingerbangers