I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus


Book Description

I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a new spin on a holiday classic that tells the story of a suburban zombie outbreak and the little boy who knows just what to do. When Johnny finds out that his mother has turned into a zombie and has attacked Santa Claus, he knows that it’s up to him to put the living dead (back) to rest. While the chaos spreads from the mall to the Christmas parade, Johnny finds his friends Glenn, Barb, and Ben, and they devise a plan to not only protect themselves—and their dog—but to make sure to get to Grandma’s house before the zombies take over town. While they’ve planned for the worst, nothing could prepare them for watching jolly old Saint Nick get devoured by mindless zombies. This clever take on a Christmas tradition is right up the alley of anyone who ever wondered what would happen if a zombie outbreak took place during the holiday season. I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a beautifully gory tale that’s sure to become a classic for fans of the holidays and the living dead.




I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus


Book Description

The hilarious holiday handbook for those who are starting to see Scrooge's point of view. Let's face it-sometimes the joys of Christmas are enough to make us want to run away from home-with all of the eggnog, of course. But with a little wry humor, Ann Hodgman is here to tackle Christmas stress and bring cheer back into the holiday. Delving into such diverse topics as making Christmas for kids and adults, how many traditions are just too many, and much more, I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus is full of helpful advice, recipes, and true holiday horror stories to let you know you're not alone.




We Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus


Book Description

Jaclyn Wentworth is on her own with three little kids. She used to be married to the golden boy—former golden boy—of their small Nevada town. The marriage was a disaster because her ex-husband never grew up. And he sure wasn't much of a daddy. Now Jaclyn's living in Reno. And who, of all people, does she run into there but Cole Perrini, bad boy of Feld, Nevada. Former bad boy. He was her ex-husband's opposite in every way—and he still is. Because Cole's made good in every sense of the word. Will Jaclyn and her children get the husband and father they deserve? Not a Scrooge, but a Santa!




It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies


Book Description

The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!




The Jimmy Buffett Scrapbook


Book Description

This delightful, colorful volume traces the hugely popular singer's life and career, analyzing the Buffett phenomenon from the early days to the present. Illustrations throughout.




Red


Book Description

A Christian girl is stigmatized by her peers after seeking an abortion in this modern retelling of The Scarlet Letter for the #MeToo era. Moving to Hawthorne was something Tess and her mom never anticipated, but after Tess’s mom loses her job, it’s their only option. Tess’s grandparents welcome them into their home, on the condition that Tess and her mom attend church, something Mom isn’t too pleased about. But Tess enjoys the church community, finding a place in youth group and the church choir. Faith fills a void Tess didn’t know she had. After a very personal decision goes public, Tess faces daily harassment and rejection by her former friends, and singing in the church choir is no longer an option. When she meets some kids in the music room, her only place of solace in the school, she finds they don't judge her for what's happened, and she learns to find her voice again. Against the backdrop of the Spirit Light Festival, Tess will need to find the strength to speak out if she is to have any chance of ending a silent cycle of abuse in Hawthorne. Perfect for fans of YA books like Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson, or Exit, Pursued by a Bear, by E. K. Johnston, Red is a timely and relevant young adult novel about finding your voice and rising above shame. Anyone looking for teen girl books that explore the complex themes of reproductive rights, religious hypocrisy, and overcoming adversity will appreciate this story of judgment and redemption.




Fidelity


Book Description




Sleigh Rides, Jingle Bells, and Silent Nights


Book Description

When Bing Crosby’s "White Christmas" debuted in 1942, no one imagined that a holiday song would top the charts year after year. One of the best-selling singles ever released, it remains on rotation at tree lighting ceremonies across the country, in crowded shopping malls on Black Friday, and at warm diners on lonely Christmas Eve nights. Over the years, other favorites have been added to America’s annual playlist, including Elvis Presley’s "Blue Christmas," the King Cole Trio’s "The Christmas Song," Gene Autry’s "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," Willie Nelson’s "Pretty Paper," and, of course, Elmo & Patsy’s "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Viewing American holiday values through the filter of familiar Christmas songs, Ronald Lankford examines popular culture, consumerism, and the dynamics of the traditional American family. He surveys more than seventy-five years of songs and reveals that the “modern American Christmas” has carried a complex and sometimes contradictory set of meanings. Interpreting tunes against the backdrop of the eras in which they were first released, he identifies the repeated themes of nostalgia, commerce, holiday blues, carnival, and travesty that underscore so much beloved music. This first full-length analysis of the lyrics, images, and commercial forces inextricably linked to Yuletide music hits the heart of what many Americans think Christmas is--or should be.




Hepting's Road


Book Description

From teaching disadvantaged adolescents to affluent elementary school children, and working with principals ranging from a supportive humanist to a data-nut despot, the second year of Steve Hepting's career is far from boring. Set in 2004, the timeless numbness of the education bureaucracy, the comedic antics of students in the classroom, and the foibles of teacher and support staff colleagues ring as true today as they did then. The life of a school comes alive with zest, pathos, and humor. Given the tortuous career road he has chosen, can Steve ever return to the much more sedate stock broker occupation he once enjoyed?




The Mouse Before Christmas


Book Description

On Christmas Eve, a little mouse decides to stay awake to see Santa and ends up taking a wild ride in Santa's sleigh before being returned home safe and sound.