If Chins Could Kill


Book Description

If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor Here we are together in the digital universe. Somehow, you've clicked yourself to this page. If you came here of your own free will and desire, you and I are going to get along just fine. Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to download the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor. Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself. No-and that's exactly the point. You can download a terabyte of books about famous actors and their high-falootin' shenanigans. I don't want to be a spoilsport, but we've all been down that road before. Scroll down to that Judy Garland biography. You know plenty about her already-great voice, troubled life. Scroll down a little further to the Charlton Heston book. Same deal. You know his story too-great voice, troubled toupee. The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am-unless you watch cable very late at night-there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune. If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor documents my time in blue-collar Hollywood, where movies are cheap, the hours are long, and the filmmaking process can be very personal. To keep up with the times, I've digitized Chins. It was originally published in hardcover/analog fifteen years ago, which is a vast amount of time in the evolution of books and technology, and it was time to get current. The advance of technology is great for a book like this, which is jammed full of pictures. When it came out originally, the photographs all had to be black and white and moderately sized on the page. Now, any photo that was originally taken in color can strut its stuff. Overall, the resolution of the images is off-the-charts better than the first go-around. This is one "sequel" that I'm happy to be a part of, since we could make so many technical improvements. The process was very similar to restoring an old movie. Since I knew that it was going to be reissued, I also had a look at the story being told and decided to condense, move, or clarify some chapters, all or in part. I also tried to add a hint of historical context, since it has been a decade and a half since Chins first came out. I hope you enjoy it. Regards, Bruce Campbell




Hail to the Chin


Book Description

New York Times bestseller Introduction by New York Times bestselling author and famous minor television personality John Hodgman One of my dad’s favorite jokes about getting older was: “I went out for coffee when I was twenty-one and when I got back I was fifty-eight!” I get what he meant now. Time flies. My first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a "B" Movie Actor, was published back in 2001 and it chronicles the adventures of a “mid-grade, kind of hammy actor" (my words), cutting his teeth on exploitation movies far removed from mainstream Hollywood. This next book, an “Act II” if you will, could be considered my “maturing years” in show business, when I began to say “no” more often and gravitated toward self-generated material. Taking stock in the overall quality of my life, I fled Los Angeles and moved to a remote part of Oregon to renew, regroup and reload. If that sounds tame, the journey from Evil Dead to Spider-Man to Burn Notice was long, with plenty of adventures/mishaps along the way. I never pictured myself hovering above Baghdad in a Blackhawk helicopter, facing a pack of wild dogs in Bulgaria, or playing an aging Elvis Presley with cancer on his penis - how can you predict this stuff? The sheer lunacy of show business is part of the fun for me and I hope you'll come along for the ride. – Bruce “Don’t Call Me Ash” Campbell




Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way


Book Description

What you're reading right now is known as the "cover copy," or “flap copy.” This is where the 84,951 words of my latest book are cooked down to 350 words or less to capture your imagination/download. I pondered how to do that. Should I cut to the chase and reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "the killer is Mr. Porter"? No. I have too much respect for you as an intelligent consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You clicked your way to this page, so you either: A. Know who I am. B. Like the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the cover. Or: C. Thought this was a secret link to Ashley Madison. Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I am the lead character in the story (coincidentally an actor), and I am a real person, and everything in the book actually happened - except for the stuff that didn't. The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film, Let's Make Love! My Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fair is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B-movie virus" - symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting. From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 84,951 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics – all of which have been upgraded to vibrant color since the first publication. I hope you enjoy the book – and if you learn anything at all about making love, please share it with me! Regards, Bruce "Go Ahead and Call Me Ash" Campbell




The Evil Dead Companion


Book Description

"First published in Great Britain by Titan Books"--T.p. verso.




The Cool Side of My Pillow


Book Description

The Cool Side of My Pillow is a collection of essays by actor, cult icon and New York Times bestselling author Bruce Campbell, sharing some of his experiences and observations outside of the entertainment industry.In Campbell's own words, "What's it about? Mostly, things that matter to me, like putting in the effort, being honest and not treating the environment like it's the enemy. Is it self-help? I hope not, but you will find musings about fame, mysterious carvings, UFOs and my general disdain of loud noises. Is it political? If it is, I'll refund your money. There are no conspiracy theories in The Cool Side of my Pillow, just snarky humor and a sincere desire for us all to find peace on earth."




If Chins Could Kill


Book Description

Chronicles the life of actor Bruce Campbell from his childhood in Detroit through his time spent making the film Evil Dead to his days in Hollywood.




The Kid Stays in the Picture


Book Description

The motion picture producer describes his early career as an actor, liasons with actresses, rise to powerful studio executive, time in a mental institution, drug use, loss of status in Hollywood, and rise back to power.




The Girl From Blind River


Book Description

A gritty tale of how far we’ll go to protect the ones we love for fans of Daniel Woodrell’s Winter’s Bone from Gale Massey, a talented new name in crime fiction. Everyone says the Elders family are nothing but cheats, thieves, and convicts—a fact nineteen-year old Jamie Elders has been trying desperately to escape. She may have the natural talent of a poker savant, but her dreams of going pro and getting the hell out of the tiny town of Blind River, New York are going nowhere fast. Especially once she lands in a huge pile of debt to her uncle Loyal. At Loyal’s beck and call until her debt is repaid, Jamie can’t easily walk away—not with her younger brother Toby left at his mercy. So when Loyal demands Jamie’s help cleaning up a mess late one night, she has no choice but to agree. But disposing of a dead man and covering up his connection to the town’s most powerful judge goes beyond family duty. When it comes out that the victim was a beloved athlete and Loyal pins the murder on Toby, only Jamie can save him. But with a dogged detective on her trail and her own future at stake, she’ll have to decide: embrace her inner criminal, or defy it—and face the consequences.




Larger Than Life


Book Description

Part memoir, part inspirational self-help manual, Larger Than Life follows Bruce Pitcher's story of childhood abuse and his experience on a popular weight-loss television show. Bruce shares the tools and methods that helped him lose the weight, come to terms with the reasons he gained it in the first place, and create a new, healthy lifestyle.




Stories I Only Tell My Friends


Book Description

Actor Rob Lowe's memoir presents a wryly funny and surprisingly moving account of an extraordinary life lived almost entirely in the public eye. A teen idol at fifteen, an international icon and founder of the Brat Pack at twenty, and one of Hollywood's top stars to this day, Rob Lowe chronicles his experiences as a painfully misunderstood child actor in Ohio uprooted to the wild counterculture of mid-seventies Malibu, where he embarked on his unrelenting pursuit of a career in Hollywood. The Outsiders placed Lowe at the birth of the modern youth movement in the entertainment industry. During his time on The West Wing, he witnessed the surreal nexus of show business and politics both on the set and in the actual White House. And in between are deft and humorous stories of the wild excesses that marked the eighties, leading to his quest for family and sobriety. Never mean-spirited or salacious, Lowe delivers unexpected glimpses into his successes, disappointments, relationships, and one-of-a-kind encounters with people who shaped our world over the last twenty-five years. Rob Lowe's New York Times bestselling autobiography, Stories I Only Tell My Friends, shares tales that are as entertaining as they are unforgettable.