Book Description

Readers of my earlier book--a memoir--may have been left with mixed feelings about it. Perhaps they felt that there was "something" wrong or missing. Maybe there was nothing redemptive about it or it had no "purpose". Maybe it seemed unfinished or was just "off". It was hard to put your finger on. After publication, I eventually came to realize these things, but never quite knew what the exact problem was. I just knew that it was out-of-balance. In 1999, a book that was written by David's oldest brother was published. I didn't read it until maybe seven years later, but when I did, I was instantly free. The book told in some detail what it was like to be a child in the Ruffin house. Time and place notwithstanding, the fact is that the father was extremely cruel to them. At that point, I was able to see David as a victim himself. Reading the details of those horrific experiences freed me of the anger, resentment and bitterness I had harbored for many years over how David had treated me and even our son. In the place of those feelings came a feeling of understanding; yes, even the gift of compassion. I understood that abuse was all he was ever taught; I was more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I forgave him. After all, how is a boy to learn what it is to be a man if he isn't taught by his father's Godly example? Thus, I was led to rewrite my memoir by giving my "testimony" of coming to Jesus in 2004 and by allowing people to know about David's childhood. I was also given other corrections, and title and cover. Now it all makes perfect sense!