No Wonder My Parents Drank


Book Description

YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP IN THIS TOWN AGAIN From Saturday Night Live to stand-up, from a blockbuster film career to the star of CBS’s hit television show Gary Unmarried, Jay Mohr is one of the funniest people in comedy today. Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr’s humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog’s rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him—like why it’s fun to play "Kissy Boy" with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a "sunborn," and how awesome it is to get a "rainbow belt" in karate. Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.




No Wonder My Parents Drank


Book Description

YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP IN THIS TOWN AGAIN From Saturday Night Live to stand-up, from a blockbuster film career to the star of CBS’s hit television show Gary Unmarried, Jay Mohr is one of the funniest people in comedy today. Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr’s humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog’s rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him—like why it’s fun to play "Kissy Boy" with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a "sunborn," and how awesome it is to get a "rainbow belt" in karate. Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.




Sometimes I Lie


Book Description

My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?




Severance


Book Description

Maybe it’s the end of the world, but not for Candace Chen, a millennial, first-generation American and office drone meandering her way into adulthood in Ling Ma’s offbeat, wryly funny, apocalyptic satire, Severance. "A stunning, audacious book with a fresh take on both office politics and what the apocalypse might bring." —Michael Schaub, NPR.org “A satirical spin on the end times-- kind of like The Office meets The Leftovers.” --Estelle Tang, Elle NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY: NPR * The New Yorker ("Books We Loved") * Elle * Marie Claire * Amazon Editors * The Paris Review (Staff Favorites) * Refinery29 * Bustle * Buzzfeed * BookPage * Bookish * Mental Floss * Chicago Review of Books * HuffPost * Electric Literature * A.V. Club * Jezebel * Vulture * Literary Hub * Flavorwire Winner of the NYPL Young Lions Fiction Award * Winner of the Kirkus Prize for Fiction * Winner of the VCU Cabell First Novelist Award * Finalist for the PEN/Hemingway Award for Debut Novel * A New York Times Notable Book of 2018 * An Indie Next Selection Candace Chen, a millennial drone self-sequestered in a Manhattan office tower, is devoted to routine. With the recent passing of her Chinese immigrant parents, she’s had her fill of uncertainty. She’s content just to carry on: She goes to work, troubleshoots the teen-targeted Gemstone Bible, watches movies in a Greenpoint basement with her boyfriend. So Candace barely notices when a plague of biblical proportions sweeps New York. Then Shen Fever spreads. Families flee. Companies cease operations. The subways screech to a halt. Her bosses enlist her as part of a dwindling skeleton crew with a big end-date payoff. Soon entirely alone, still unfevered, she photographs the eerie, abandoned city as the anonymous blogger NY Ghost. Candace won’t be able to make it on her own forever, though. Enter a group of survivors, led by the power-hungry IT tech Bob. They’re traveling to a place called the Facility, where, Bob promises, they will have everything they need to start society anew. But Candace is carrying a secret she knows Bob will exploit. Should she escape from her rescuers? A send-up and takedown of the rituals, routines, and missed opportunities of contemporary life, Ling Ma’s Severance is a moving family story, a quirky coming-of-adulthood tale, and a hilarious, deadpan satire. Most important, it’s a heartfelt tribute to the connections that drive us to do more than survive.




Shall I Not Drink the Cup the Father Has Given Me


Book Description

You will in this book see how the Lord Jesus Christ badly wounded Living Death for you and me, more than two millennia ago. Like many Christian believers have done in the past, you will finish off the mutilated death if you confront them with the very weaponry with which the Lord injured them. This book teems with such weaponry.




Postcards From the Edge


Book Description

** THE NEW YORK TIMES-BESTSELLING CULT CLASSIC NOVEL ** ** In a new edition introduced by Stephen Fry ** ‘I don’t think you can even call this a drug. This is just a response to the conditions we live in.’ Suzanne Vale, formerly acclaimed actress, is in rehab, feeling like ‘something on the bottom of someone’s shoe, and not even someone interesting’. Immersed in the sometimes harrowing, often hilarious goings-on of the drug hospital and wondering how she’ll cope – and find work – back on the outside, she meets new patient Alex. Ambitious, good-looking in a Heathcliffish way and in the grip of a monumental addiction, he makes Suzanne realize that, however eccentric her life might seem, there’s always someone who’s even closer to the edge of reason. Carrie Fisher’s bestselling debut novel is an uproarious commentary on Hollywood – the home of success, sex and insecurity – and has become a beloved cult classic. ‘This novel, with its energy, bounce and generous delivery of a loud laugh on almost every page, stands as a declaration of war on two fronts: on normal and on unhappy’ STEPHEN FRY ‘A single woman’s answer to Nora Ephron’s Heartburn . . . the smart successor to Joan Didion’s Play It as It Lays’ Los Angeles Times ‘A cult classic . . . A wonderfully funny, brash and biting novel’ Washington Post 'A wickedly shrewd black-humor riff on the horrors of rehab and the hollows of Hollywood life' People 'Searingly funny' Vogue




Daddy Needs a Drink


Book Description

In the tradition of Dave Barry, an irreverent look at fatherhood from a dad who truly loves his kids—even when they’re driving him nuts. “Robert Wilder’s hilarious and boldly candid essays about the realities of parenting go down like gin and tonic on a hot summer afternoon.”—People A Santa Fe dad shares heartwarming, comic, often ludicrous tales of raising a family in this laugh-out-loud book perfect for anyone who enjoys the edgy humor of David Sedaris or the whimsical commentary of Dave Barry. Waxing both profound and profane on issues close to a father’s heart—from exploding diapers to toddler tantrums, from the horrors of dressing up as Frosty the Snowman to the moments that make a father proud—Robert Wilder brilliantly captures the joys and absurdities of being a parent today. With an artist wife and two kids—a daughter, Poppy, and a son, London—Robert Wilder considers himself as open-minded as the next man. Yet even he finds himself parentally challenged when his toddler son, London, careens around the house in the buff or asks the kind of outrageous, embarrassing questions only a kid can ask. A high school teacher who sometimes refers to himself jokingly as Mister Mom (when his wife, Lala, is busy in her studio), Wilder shares warmly funny stories on everything from sleep deprivation to why school-sponsored charities can turn otherwise sane adults into blithering and begging idiots. Whether trying to conjure up the perfect baby name (“Poppy” came to his wife’s mother in a dream) or hiring a Baby Whisperer to get some much-needed sleep, Wilder offers priceless life lessons on discipline, potty training, even phallic fiddling (courtesy of young London). He describes the perils of learning to live monodextrously (doing everything with one hand while carrying your child around with the other) and the joys of watching his daughter morph into a graceful, wise, unique little person right before his eyes. By turns tender, irreverent, and hysterically funny, Daddy Needs a Drink is a hilarious and poignant tribute to his family by a man who truly loves being a father.




Death's Mistress


Book Description

A New York Times bestseller, Death's Mistress: Sister of Darkness begins The Nicci Chronicles, Terry Goodkind's series with a cast of characters centered on one of his best-loved characters in the now-concluded Sword of Truth. One-time lieutenant of the evil Emperor Jagang, known as “Death’s Mistress” and the “Slave Queen”, the deadly Nicci captured Richard Rahl in order to convince him that the Imperial Order stood for the greater good. But it was Richard who converted Nicci instead, and for years thereafter she served Richard and Kahlan as one of their closest friends—and one of their most lethal defenders. Now, with the reign of Richard and Kahlan finally stabilized, Nicci has set out on her own for new adventures. One of her jobs will be to keep her travelling companion, the unworldly prophet Nathan, out of trouble. But her real task will be to scout the far reaches of Richard Rahl’s realm. This will take her and Nathan to visit the mysterious witch-woman Red, to tangle with the street life of the port city of Tanimura, to fight lethal battles on the high seas, and ultimately to a vast magical confrontation far from home...with the future of life itself, in the Old World and the New, at stake. Full of life and story, this is a sweeping, engaging tale in the grand Goodkind manner. The Nicci Chronicles 1. Death's Mistress 2. Shroud of Eternity 3. Siege of Stone At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.




The Storyteller


Book Description

I meet a woman who invites me to the pub. She could be Joan Jett’s Irish doppelganger, an idea that seems so far removed from the Troubles, I can’t believe it. But the Troubles are real and permeate the everyday lives of the people of Belfast. — Nancy Wagner, AP In 1982, Jane Ferris couldn’t care less that Northern Ireland is crumbling all around her. Life is about drinking, loving women, and dodging her father’s former IRA connections. Her mother begs her to hold the family together, but Jane only wants distraction from the real world and she almost finds it with American journalist, Nancy Wagner. Nancy is in Belfast with an assignment and a dream: make her mark on the world by getting to the heart of the Troubles with her reporting. As the college graduate goes where few women journalists have ventured before, Jane sets out to make her another notch on her bedpost, but instead finds herself acting as both guide and protector. Dangerous circumstances push Nancy into Jane’s arms. While Jane knows it can’t possibly last, she resolves to make the most of their tumultuous time together… …and finds herself living a life she never dreamed possible with the woman she can’t seem to forget as their worlds collide. I came to Belfast to tell a story that began with this strong, beautiful, street-smart punk. Will it end with her, as well? Search terms: Lesbian romance, historical lesbian romance, lesbian fiction, lesfic, ff romance, friends to lovers, forbidden love, opposites attract, bad girl romance




Trepidations


Book Description

Adelia Mays is just too beautiful for words. She is very intelligent, a true CEO if there ever was one. Really overqualified for that 'right guy.' A rare type that can 'luck-out' in the end. In one word - Extraordinary!