Off the Hook Too!


Book Description

In 1981, L'Anse Sentinel publisher Ed Danner unleashed the madness when he invited a rookie reporter from Chicago's South Side to work for his Upper Michigan weekly newspaper. Nancy Besonen's Off The Hook is a collection of humor columns she successfully slipped by her editor over a 30-year reporting career. However, there were still a few very silly things left unsaid. Her second and final installment, Off the Hook Too!, keeps the laughter alive and rounds out what she likes to call "The Compleat Works of Nancy Besonen." (take that, William Shakespeare!) "Nancy Besonen's weekly columns in the L'Anse Sentinel always made me smile, or chuckle and, quite often, even snort with mirth. Besonen connects so well with our quirky Yooper culture and its priorities. Her perspective of our everyday lives is hilarious and reminiscent of the late Erma Bombeck." -- Terri Martin, author and U.P. Notable Book Award recipient "It takes a special person to write a weekly column year after year and decade after decade. There have to be times when life is not funny, you're just not in the mood to be humorous, or you simply can't think of a damn thing to satirize, or poke fun at. So, hats off to Nancy Besonen because judging by this collection of her weekly columns in the L'Anse Sentinel she has a genuine talent for finding humor in everyday life." --Tom Powers, Michigan in Books "Besonen has written a book that reads like standup comedy, à la 'up-north' humor. If you have only heard of Northern Michigan or are an actual resident (Yooper) you will find the clever writing in this book to be enjoyable. Short chapters make reading easy on the days there isn't much time to read. The entire book does not have to be finished to find out whodunnit, although it's still difficult to put down." -Carolyn Wilhelm, Midwest Book Review "Besonen, a gifted journalist who moved north from Chicago for the fishing and brought with her a deep sensibility for the U.P, both teaches and inspires. This is true nonfiction at its best, both wit and investigative journalism. I am glad she collects it here." -- Mack Hassler, former professor of English, Kent State University for U.P. Book Review ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Excerpts ~ ~ ~ ~ Hunting—There is no arguing that antlers are important. They help deer decide who gets a date. They help successful hunters get a grip while dragging their prize from the woods. They are the ultimate Northwoods accent piece, suitable for hanging in any room but mostly those frequented by Northwoods men. Photography—There is something horribly wrong with a society that requires its young to become certified in Hunter Safety before handling a gun, yet will put a fully loaded camera into a child’s hands at a wedding and say, “Get a shot of Daddy doing the Chicken Dance!” Berry picking—If someone asks if we’ve been picking blueberries, we say yes, because it’s hard to lie when you have leaves in your hair and blue spots on your butt. When they ask where, we say “The Plains.” Then we say “Goodbye.” We’re there to pick. It’s the way of the sticks. Toys—My particular generation is the baby boomers. We were born as a direct result of WWII. Our daddies were very happy to come home to our mommies. They expressed their joy by populating the earth with many children who were easily entertained. Cell phones--“Don’t those damn things ever stop ringin’?” my husband bellowed. Our son, seated beside him in the car, bent his head in obvious shame, focusing on the offending cell phone in his hand. A moment later his sister’s cell phone rang in the back seat. It was her brother, calling her from the front. Bugs—I opened the cap on my shampoo, and knew just how Janet Leigh felt when Norman Bates joined her for a shower in Psycho. There was an earwig underneath it, and it wasn’t finished bathing. We are used to being bugged and having nowhere to hide. If Norman had made his move on a Maki in the sauna, she’d have parted his hair with a pickaxe. Food—There is a time and a place for eating healthier. I have no idea when or where that is, but I am pretty sure it’s not Thanksgiving Day, when every dish is meant to shine, mainly from its high fat content. We are thankful for giblet gravy and real butter. Barbie—In the beginning, she was blonde or brunette. Then she became black or Hispanic, which was a good thing. Then you cut her hair, which was a bad thing because it devalued your investment and caused Ken to lose interest, though nobody thought Ken was much of a catch, anyway. Data breach—What makes a data breach even more frightening is that 400 of our personal, private characteristics may also be fully exposed. The computing element may, at this very moment, be tuning into the facts that you are a smoker and a dog owner. What are they going to do? Sniff you out and steal your dog? Crafting—It was a controlled burn, but just barely. The wood burner warmed up faster than the artist, from “cool” to “incinerate” before I could warm my coffee. When the smoke finally cleared, I keenly perceived with my artist’s eye that I had succeeded in creating charcoal. And it wasn’t even good-looking charcoal. Bathrooms—Ever since the outhouse found its way in, man has struggled to delicately define his waste space. The new spa-like bath­room isn’t a place where you just go. Well, it kind of is, but you also go there to relax, unwind and pamper yourself while family members try to beat the door down because they need to take care of business. Grandparenting—My mom never played canasta, but she didn’t roll around on the floor with our kids, either, because old grandmothers had something NEW grandmothers lack: their dignity. My mom raised her eyebrows, said stuff like “Oh dear,” and kicked naked Barbies under the couch to be with their clothes. Naked Kens, too, different couch. Guilt—Not to brag (sin of pride), but we Catholics have kind of cornered the market on guilt. Catholics can confess our sins to a priest and receive penance--prayer, more or less of it, depends on the week--to wipe our slates clean. Then we walk out of the confessional, speculate on why the next guy is going in, and bam! We’re back in the red again.




Off the Hook


Book Description

Back in 1981, publisher Ed Danner took a chance, hiring Nancy Besonen, a rookie reporter from Chicago's South Side, for his weekly newspaper, the L'Anse Sentinel. Her humor column, "Off the Hook," was ostensibly all about fishing, but she quickly cut loose, writing about anything relevant to life, especially in the Michigan's Upper Peninsula, as long as it made her readers smile. There's something for everyone with a strong sense of the ridiculous: "Ask Miss Demeanor," "Life's a Breach" and "Baldness: A Growing Concern." Also, "We Make Hay," "Men Are from Mud" and a particularly sensitive piece, "I'm Poopeye the Sailor Mom." From Michigan's tiniest predator, the no-see-um, to life's biggest challenges, like trying to fly into or out of the U.P., Besonen's on the beat. "Nancy Besonen's weekly columns in the L'Anse Sentinel always made me smile, or chuckle and, quite often, even snort with mirth. Besonen connects so well with our quirky Yooper culture and its priorities. Her perspective of our everyday lives is hilarious and reminiscent of the late Erma Bombeck." -- Terri Martin, author and U.P. Notable Book Award recipient "A veteran journalist, Nancy Besonen has a wonderful gift for sweet and tangy, humorous writing and storytelling. She uses visual, nuanced language to paint portraits of Michigan's Upper Peninsula's people, places and events, infusing culture, history and geography. Her colorful tales, filled with wit, action, twists and turns, are a must read for those in Michigan (and beyond), as she inspires us all to think about our own life journeys." -- Martha Bloomfield, award-winning author, oral historian, artist and poet "Besonen, a gifted journalist who moved north from Chicago for the fishing and brought with her a deep sensibility for the U.P, both teaches and inspires. This is true nonfiction at its best, both wit and investigative journalism. I am glad she collects it here." -- Mack Hassler, former professor of English, Kent State University From Modern History Press www.ModernHistoryPress.com




Machinery


Book Description




Off the Mangrove Coast (Louis L'Amour's Lost Treasures)


Book Description

As part of the Louis L’Amour’s Lost Treasures series, this edition contains exclusive bonus materials! From the jungles of Borneo to the hidden canyons of the American West, from small-town fight clubs to a Parisian café at the end of World War II, here are tales of betrayal and revenge, courage and cowardice, glory and greed, as only Louis L’Amour can tell them. Here is L’Amour at his very best: A charismatic boxer itches to fight all comers—but his only shot at the championship is in beating the man who ruined his father. . . . A beautiful movie star finds a dead man in her apartment and begs her ex-lover, a tough private eye, to clear her name. . . . A reluctant hero guides a diamond-hunting couple up a river ruled by headhunters and pirates in pursuit of a legendary stone and the mysterious warlord who guards it. . . . A young renegade sails the South China Sea with a trio of dangerous men in search of treasure, but when it’s time to divide the prize, can he trust any of them? Combining electrifying action scenes, vivid historical detail, and characters who seem to leap off the page, these spectacular stories honor the legend of Louis L’Amour. Louis L’Amour’s Lost Treasures is a project created to release some of the author’s more unconventional manuscripts from the family archives. In Louis L’Amour’s Lost Treasures: Volumes 1, Beau L’Amour takes the reader on a guided tour through many of the finished and unfinished short stories, novels, and treatments that his father was never able to publish during his lifetime. L’Amour’s never-before-seen first novel, No Traveller Returns, faithfully completed for this program, is a voyage into danger and violence on the high seas. These exciting publications will be followed by Louis L’Amour’s Lost Treasures: Volume 2. Additionally, many beloved classics will be rereleased with an exclusive Lost Treasures postscript featuring previously unpublished material, including outlines, plot notes, and alternate drafts. These postscripts tell the story behind the stories that millions of readers have come to know and cherish.




The American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms


Book Description

Covering almost ten thousand idioms and phrases, a reference work on common American vocabulary and idiomatic expressions defines each entry and provides a contextual sentence




Let's Crochet!


Book Description

This beginner-level book functions as a crochet course that takes the new hobbyist from elementary stitches to an intermediate skill level. Each chapter-length project is a lesson that builds on information featured in the Basics section and previous projects in the book. 20 projects range from a beginning-level scarf to an intermediate-level casual cushion. Also here are hats, a wrap skirt, a tote bag, a camisole, blankets, an oven mitt, pillows, and more. These projects are stylish enough to appeal to crocheters of all skill levels.




Off the Hook


Book Description

Hookup culture is about much more than the quest for pleasure. It offers an easy way out of real communication and lasting relationships. It also teaches us to treat each other as objects for personal satisfaction. Even those who reject the hookup culture can still be negatively affected by it and develop poor habits of relating to others. In Off the Hook, Timothy P. O’Malley, professor of theology at the University of Notre Dame, shows how God’s plan for love serves to heal the wounds of hookup culture and is a medicine for what ails our understanding of sex, romance, love, and marriage. Here are a few things Timothy O’Malley discovered from students in his popular undergraduate course, Nuptial Mystery: Divine Love and Human Salvation: Hookup culture is present in all his students’ lives, whether they’re hooking up or not. Some students approach sex and love as transitory and fleeting transaction—they love the idea of romance; they love the sexual chase; and they crave the hookup, but not the commitment. Other students have come to idolize the mystery of marriage and so their conception of what sex, love, and marriage will be like is overly romanticized and largely naive. This group lacks understanding about what real love and intimacy demand of two people in everyday life. In Off the Hook, O’Malley explains how the ethics of hooking up shape relationships between men and women and examines the considerable harm to individuals and society that results. By exploring the sacrament of marriage in its biblical, theological, and liturgical dimensions, he offers Catholic young adults and those charged with their formation and pastoral care a wealth of insight into God’s plan for love. Young people will find help grappling with the Church’s countercultural understanding of sex, love, and marriage. Parents and pastoral workers will discover a refreshing presentation of the Catholic theology of marriage and wise counsel about forming young people in the Church’s vision. Newly married, and even long-married couples will find hope, courage, and the promise of sacramental love that can sustain them for a lifetime.




The New York Supplement


Book Description

"Cases argued and determined in the Court of Appeals, Supreme and lower courts of record of New York State, with key number annotations." (varies)




Parachute Rigger 1 & C.


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The Anglers' Record


Book Description