Pet This F*cking Puppy


Book Description

This first-ever touch-and-feel book for grown-ups is the perfect interactive and calming gift for any stressed-out adult. Which is every adult. A board book with six touch-and-feel (or smell!) elements that punctuate simple illustrations, this hilarious novelty book provides today's hardworking grown-up different tactile, visual, or smelly ways to, well, calm the f *ck down. Bright, bold images of puppies, blankets, rainbows, sunsets, and more, each complemented with a different texture or interactive element, are designed to give readers moments of quiet respite from the onslaught of real-world angst and responsibilities. Guaranteed to calm anyone from a neurotic New York businessperson to a harried soccer parent to anyone who watches the news, Pet This F*cking Puppy will make people smile long enough to feel a little better.




The Adorable Circle of Life


Book Description

Savage. Menacing. Ruthless. Predators get a pretty bad rap. Sure, they prey on helpless animals that never stand a chance, but behind those jagged teeth, powerful jaws, and razor-sharp claws, every predator has a softer side. Maybe even an adorable one. Everyone has compassion for the cute bunny or lamb. But what about their predators who are working hard for their meal? Capturing their prey is a life-or-death game. Just think about the last time you had to hunt for food while hangry. You can understand, right? Including famous quotes from history that give context to these disturbingly cute illustrations, Alex Solis shares his sense of humor while giving readers a way to enjoy the darkest parts of life with a smile. It’s time to give theses predators a break! Because, in the end, both predators and their prey play a role. I mean, it’s not their fault they were made this way! They’re just living off of instincts, doing what comes naturally to them. So rather than turning away from nature, let’s celebrate all the animals who complete The Adorable Circle of Life.




Picking Your Performance Puppy


Book Description

Picking Your Performance Puppy is more than a book! It also contains links to videos that demonstrate how structure determines movement and performance in dogs. This book is geared towards people who want to know more about what it takes to make a great performance dog. If you are getting ready to purchase a puppy, adopt an older dog or just want to know more about the dog you have, this book will help you understand what makes a great performance dog. If you have ever wondered why some dogs excel while others struggle and why some dogs have longer careers than others, Picking Your Performance Puppy will take the mystery out structure for performance and answer those questions. Never before has the performance dog sport world had a manual like this book. Picking Your Performance Puppy goes beyond traditional "conformational thinking" about a dog's structure. In my opinion this book is a must have resource for anyone selecting a new puppy or considering the impact of playing a sport with their dog. Susan Garrett Say Yes Dog Training Inc.




My Little Occult Book Club


Book Description

My Little Occult Book Club is a hilarious collection of Steven Rhodes' parody book covers for the aspiring occultist, exorcist, necromancer, and more, illustrated in his fan-favorite artistic twist on retro '70s and '80s children's books. The humorous fake titles include Sell Your Soul! (Economics for Children), Necromancy for Beginners, and Caring for Your Demon Cat, and much more. • Written in a playful voice that parodies subscription book catalogs • Features fun puzzles and activities • Funny fake mail order offers for gifts such as "Cursed Videocassette" Whether you're looking for a health guide for your changing werewolf body or a simple introduction to alien abduction, this silly and twisted read features a wide selection of books for any occult need. For fans of dark humor, nostalgic horror, and vintage books alike, don't wait—order today! • Perfect book for fans of Stranger Things, IT, and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina • You'll love this book if you love books like Yiddish with Dick and Jane by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman and My Best Friend's Exorcism: A Novel by Grady Hendrix




F*ck That


Book Description

Like a yoga class you can hold in your hand, a beautiful, full-color guide to letting sh*t go Our world is filled with annoyances, and sometimes you need a little dose of humor to cope with the news cycle, your irritating co-worker, or that telemarketer who won’t stop calling. This refreshingly honest self-help book will guide you through a meditation to “breathe in strength, and breathe out bullsh*t.” An excellent gift for yourself or others, F*ck That is the very embodiment of modern-day self-care. May it help you find peace with the challenges that surround you…because they are f*cking everywhere. Based on the viral video that had everyone from yogis to workaholics raving, F*ck That is the completely truthful and oddly tranquil guide to relieving stress and achieving inner peace.




The Master's Pet


Book Description

[Siren Classic ManLove: Erotic Alternative Sci-Fi Romance, M/M] The world is in ruins, society divided into those who protect and those who need protection. That protection comes at a price, one that Jiri discovers when he's sold to Zane, leader of the Death Dealers. He's shocked when Zane explains he wants Jiri as his own personal sex pet. But Jiri can't deny he's intrigued by Zane's proposal. He wears the collar and leash Zane provides and prepares himself to be a possession. But the more he gets to know Zane, the more Jiri wants something more. He wants Zane to want him for him, and not just as a pet. But before Jiri can convince Zane of his desire, an attack comes from The Night Dwellers, one that could destroy them both. ** A Siren Erotic Romance




Daffodil Hill


Book Description

A candid and heartwarming memoir of reinvention about a city girl who trades her career and her heels for five acres and a herd of goats “Jake Keiser is my favorite kind of woman—gutsy, tenacious, and not afraid to be vulnerable. And the animals are pretty f*cking adorable, too.”—Tara Schuster, author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies Jake Keiser was living the life in Tampa, Florida, running a high-powered PR firm and juggling drink dates, shopping sprees, and charity galas. But at age thirty-eight, following a failed marriage, a series of miscarriages, and a still-blistering breakup, she began to suffer from extreme anxiety. Hit with the realization that no amount of Botox could fill the hole in her heart, she decided to make the impulse purchase of a lifetime and bought a farm in the middle of nowhere, Mississippi. Suddenly responsible for more than seventy-five animals and five acres of land, and with only one bar of cell service, Jake begins her search for inner peace. She learns to fix a well, haul wood, shoot a gun, and care for baby chicks, goats, turkeys, geese, dogs, and a cat, playing spa music for them when they’re sick and naming them after her favorite fashion designers. The only problem is that she still can’t figure out how to truly care for herself. Unable to escape the accumulated pain of her past, Jake hits rock bottom. With nowhere left to run, she’s finally forced to confront a bracing reality: The farm won’t save her. Only she can save herself. Poignant, hilarious, and utterly charming, Daffodil Hill is for anyone who feels stuck—for those of us strapped to our desks and dreaming of an unconventional life, for those of us searching for something more. Most of all, it is for people who believe that the greatest love story of all is the one we write with ourselves.




Kama Pootra


Book Description

52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop The only known translation of an ancient manual instructing readers in the art of enlightened bathroom experience, the Kama Pootra offers a thrilling rediscovery of the tiled path to porcelain nirvana. Willing seekers will find fifty-two progressive positions designed to maximize how you do number two. Every time the bathroom door closes, a new experience awaits.




Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back!


Book Description

Finding the bright side of a terrible situation has never been easier, thanks to the adorable baby animal postcards found in Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back. Amanda McCall and Ben Schwartz, nationally bestselling authors of Grandma’s Dead and Why is Daddy in a Dress?, are back with their third collection of cuteness designed to soften life’s unexpected blows, whether you’re dealing with shark attacks, incurable diseases, or incarcerations in filthy third world prisons. With delicious dark humor in vein of The Bunny Suicides, Maybe Your Leg Will Grow Back even includes a bonus DIY crafts section to help you find the sunny side of any catastrophe.




Grandma's Dead


Book Description

Avoid the messy confrontations that accompany delivering bad news personally and let one of these cute baby animal postcards deliver the devastating message for you. Are you afraid to tell your girlfriend that her ass looks fat? Do you need to explain to your nephew that dreams don't come true? Why not let a cute, fuzzy bunny do it for you! We understand how hard it is to tell someone that you're sleeping with his wife, so let a photograph of a duckling sleeping on a teddy bear soften the blow. These perforated postcards answer all of your cowardly prayers—you'll finally be able to tell the truth without ever conquering your fear of confrontation. Let these adorable baby animals supply a silver lining to any bad situation and avoid, a long, tearful afternoon explaining why daddy's never coming home.