Reasons Mommy Drinks


Book Description

A wickedly funny look at the challenges of new parenthood. With cocktail recipes. Being a new mom is “AHHHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” hard. Why are all these tiny clothes so expensive? Who wrote these mind-numbing board books? Will Mommy ever carry a purse again that’s not a diaper bag? And how is she even functioning off so little sleep? Reasons Mommy Drinks is a fresh, insightful, and hilarious collection of the various struggles faced by new parents—from mommy groups and single-people envy to the end of maternity leave—with a well-deserved cocktail recipe to go with each one. This must-have resource will help sleep-deprived new moms survive the baby years with their sense of humor, if not their lives as they once knew them, intact.




You're the Reason Mommy Drinks


Book Description

Everyone thinks it, but nobody says it. Finally, there's an author with the courage to write what everyone's been thinking. You're the Reason Mommy Drinks is a children's book that is definitely not for children. But it will leave every mother worldwide nodding her head in agreement.




Mommy Mixology


Book Description

A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.




Why Mommy Swears


Book Description

Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.




Mommy Drinks Because You Cry


Book Description

Pull Mommy back from the edge with this irreverent adult coloring book! MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the adult coloring book for the delightfully impolite. For the rare moments you have to yourself, enjoy the calming act of coloring with a little dose of sass. This collection of beautiful designs and fun illustrations are paired with the very best of all our worst thoughts, from “I child-proofed my house, but they still get in,” to “Home is where the vodka is.” Each hilariously captioned design is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages perfect for amusing decoration or passive-aggressive gift-giving. When you want to unwind with coloring but aren’t in the mood to embrace sunshine and daisies, MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the perfect adult coloring book to let you speak your native sarcasm!




Moms Who Drink and Swear


Book Description

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.




Her Best-Kept Secret


Book Description

For readers of Quit Like a Woman, this “engaging account of women and drink, [cites] fascinating studies about modern stressors…and evidence that some problem drinkers can learn moderation….Bound to stir controversy” (People). In Her Best-Kept Secret, journalist Gabrielle Glaser uncovers a hidden-in-plain-sight drinking epidemic. Using “investigative rigor and thoughtful analysis” (The Boston Globe), Glaser is the first to document that American women are drinking more often than ever and in ever-larger quantities in this “substantial book, interested in hard facts and nuance rather than hand-wringing” (The New York Times Book Review). She shows that contrary to the impression offered on reality TV, young women alone aren’t driving these statistics—their moms and grandmothers are, too. But Glaser doesn’t wag a finger. Instead, in a funny and tender voice, Glaser looks at the roots of the problem, explores the strange history of women and alcohol in America, drills into the emerging and counterintuitive science about that relationship, and asks: Are women getting the help they need? Is it possible to return from beyond the sipping point and develop a healthy relationship with the bottle? Glaser reveals that, for many women, joining Alcoholics Anonymous is not the answer—it is part of the problem. She shows that as scientists and health professionals learn more about women’s particular reactions to alcohol, they are coming up with new and more effective approaches to excessive drinking. In that sense, Glaser offers modern solutions to a very modern problem.




Why Daddy Hits Mommy


Book Description

Why Daddy Hits Mommy. When dad comes home he wants 2 thinks. A whiskey drink and spotless sinks. Even though your mommy works too. Dad's domestic labor expectations are askew. Once daddy enjoys drinky three. It's time for you and mom to flee. To grandmas house, you'd better go. Or mom will suffer several blows. To the face is where daddy hits. Because he drinks and cannot quits. Please remember dad is sick. Even when he uses a stick. Alcohol is daddy's crutch. And that's why he hits mom too much.




Baby, Mix Me a Drink


Book Description

Humorous instruction manual teaches baby how to mix a martini, a margarita, a bloody Mary, an old-fashinoed, and a champagne cocktail.




I Drink Mommy's Milk


Book Description

A mammal is an animal that drinks its mother's milk. Open this book to learn more about baby mammals and their favorite food. And remember : you are a mammal, too!