Rubber Legs and White Tail-Hairs


Book Description

Offers a humorous collection of tales, including "Muldoon in Love," a story that features a teacher who wore the same suit to school for thirty years.




Rubber Legs and White Tail-Hairs


Book Description

America's favorite outdoor humorist is back with an outrageously fresh collection of stories. He introduces a variety of friends old and new, and takes readers to many exotic locales outdoors and indoors.




How I Got This Way


Book Description

Patrick McManus, the bestselling author of such hilarious books as A Fine and Pleasant Misery and Never Sniff a Gift Fish, now offers readers solid thoughts on the qualities that define leadership, beginning with the need to be tall, and much more, in this outrageous collection of short pieces that reveals his tortuous trip along the writer's path.




The Grasshopper Trap


Book Description

Patrick F. McManus, the “funniest guy in the Outdoor Life and Field & Stream gang...offers another bag of whimsy in the Great Outdoors”* with The Grasshopper Trap. In this collection of thirty zany stories, spoofing camping, fishing, and other outdoor recreational activities, McManus shares his hilarious wilderness misadventures. From facing an angry bear with an unloaded gun and the folly of running a boat while it’s still on the trailer to not questioning the ingredients found in camp cookout cuisine and the best methods of catching grasshoppers, no one knows how to express Mother Nature’s sense of humor like Patrick F. McManus. “It’s enough to tickle the most rabid member of the National Rifle Association.”—*Kirkus Reviews




Kerplunk!


Book Description

Presents a collection of curmudgeonly tales on Pacific Northwest country living as enjoyed by both outdoorsmen and armchair enthusiasts, in a volume that explores the lighter side of such topics as gun safes, fly tying, and bird dog flatulence.




Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures


Book Description

America's best-selling outdoor humorist for adults has a secret following: middle-grade and young-adult readers. Never Cry "Arp!" is a lively collection of twelve stories about young Pat's misadventures in the Great American Wilderness. All the McManus regulars are here: Crazy Eddie Muldoon, the best friend everybody wishes they had (and everybody's mother wishes they didn't); Rancid Crabtree, the good-hearted, if gamey, woodsman; Pat's skunk dog, Strange, who lives up to his name; and Pat's pal, Retch Sweeney, who does, too. This is a book for kids who love to start fishing at 4am (at least they say they do) or for those who prefer to experience the mighty outdoors in the safety of their homes. "Everybody should read Patrick McManus," said the New York Times. Now, everybody can.




A Fine and Pleasant Misery


Book Description

Witty cautionary tales of outdoor life.




They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?


Book Description

With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”—Library Journal




The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw


Book Description

America’s “most gifted outdoor humorist” (Detroit Free Press) regales readers with this collection of gut-busting, man vs. nature tales originally published in such magazines as Field & Stream and Outdoor Living. Patrick F. McManus’s hilarious and comic stories of camping and other nature-oriented activities reach ridiculous proportions in The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw. From teaching his stepfather the methods of madness behind farm work through his best friend’s grandmother’s fear of bears, McManus reveals that human behavior is even wilder than the wilderness.




The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories


Book Description

The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories is a hilarious addition to Patrick F. McManus’s existing work in humor. The author weighs in on his childhood, everyday life, and outdoor tales with his typical exaggerated commentary that will elicit a belly laugh from all types of readers. Read about the antics of Patrick’s friends Rancid Crabtree and Retch Sweeney in such stories as “Shaping Up for the Hunt” and “Bear Hunters.” McManus plays off the recent obsession with hoarders in his surprising story “The Lady Who Kept Things.” In the titular story, meet Patrick’s horse, Huckleberry, and enjoy the experience of all the problems that come along with owning your own horse—or keeping him in the garage. Other great stories include: “Catch-And-Eaters,” about the importance of a forked stick when fishing “$7000 TV Historical Extravaganza,” a look at one director’s loose interpretation of historical accuracy and political correctness “A Lake Too Far,” concerning the woes of Patrick and his wife, Bun, on a fateful birding trip in Australia “Chicken Chronicles,” which involves Patrick’s memory of wandering around naked in the chicken yard when guests came to call So pull up a chair, sit back, and enjoy laughing to the hilarious adventures of Patrick F. McManus in The Horse in My Garage and Other Stories.