Secret Agent Disco Dancer: You Don't Know Jack


Book Description

One autumn day, Miranda Frillyfoam hops onto a bus headed for her new school, Bay Lake Elementary. Right off the bat, the children call her a monster and run away screaming. At least she's not alone, and when a new substitute teacher shows up on her first day of class, things really get crazy. Approximately 6,700 words, 14 images and Spartan frog mayhem. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages). WARNING: Don't allow any crazy substitute frog teachers in your school!




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Zombies Ate My Pizza


Book Description

When BARTHOLOMEW BUNDT receives a new house for Christmas, he's overjoyed. The timing couldn't be more perfect, thanks to a certain crazy frog and his explosive appetite for monster pizza. But when Bartholomew realizes that his new house is built near reactor four in the old Chernobyl nuclear power plant, his skin begins to crawl. Of course, that's not the only thing crawling around there. "Hello?" his voice echoes through the cruel Siberian night. "Eh... It's probably just the neighbors again." He scratches his behind and walks back inside. "You know, I really should have them over for dinner." He smirks and goes back to bed. Certainly before they have him for dinner... Approximately 14,000 words. Intended for children 12 and up. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).







Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Santa Got Run Over By A Burrito


Book Description

DEVLIN BLUM had a life, once. On earth, no less. Now he finds himself knee-deep in taco madness on the moon's only Mexican restaurant. When a certain frog sneaks off with his Rolled Tacos, the ones he specifically set aside for Santa, he's left scrambling. Surely he doesn't want to let Santa down. But getting those Rolled Tacos back could be more trouble than they're worth. A food misadventure of galactic proportions, intended for children 9 and up. Approximately 21,300 words. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Lobster Bisque?


Book Description

Being a criminal super genius isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Just ask Frogwart Fisk, arch nemesis of one Secret Agent Disco Dancer, spy extraordinaire. On a pleasant day in Monaco, at a French cafe on the newly constructed riverwalk, the delightfully charming (though maniacal) Fisk finds a nasty surprise in his soup. Is Black Eagle really out to get him or has the brilliant frog gone mad? Approximately 7,500 words, 10 images and 2 very crazy frogs (3 if you include the author). Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages). Note: This book is a bit darker than others in the series. It also contains words that are more complicated than the average child’s reading level. While it’s ultimately intended for all ages, little ones might get stuck on a few words.




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Did Somebody Say Pizza?


Book Description

When PRESIDENT RUMP'S buttocks explode to the size of Texas, someone is to blame, and it's certainly not him... Approximately 11,000 words. For children ages 12 and up. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages). WARNING: Hairy butts and zany politics round out this rabid pizza pie!




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Green Eggs and a Side of Earnest Bacon


Book Description

Perhaps you might be wondering how a certain crazy frog came to be known as Secret Agent Disco Dancer? Well, one prickly pig is here to tell you; one Earnest T. Bacon who is always more trouble than he’s worth. Will Fredrico Frillyfoam survive the mad pork chop’s clinical trial? Or is something more dubious in store for him? Approximately 4,700 words, 10 images, and 1 evil pig. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages). WARNING: Contains bacon.




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Was It The Tira Misu?


Book Description

Love... Is it just an illusion? Or did something truly special happen all those months ago at a quaint, little cafe by the river? FROGWART FISK, criminal super genius on the run, intends to find out, and is well aware of the psychological traps put in place by his former employer, Black Eagle. When he materializes in Venice, he finds the food irresistible along with his stunning new heartthrob, Sara. Is it a match made in heaven? Or will a certain frog throw a wrench into his plans? Approximately 9,000 words. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: The Last Ding Dong on Earth


Book Description

Fresh from stumbling across Double Agent Orangegrove and the mysterious Earth 2 project, SECRET AGENT DISCO DANCER realizes that he's having trouble remembering things...well anything, for that matter...outside of his world class love for Twinkies. When he learns that the Hostess factory is shutting down for good and may have produced its last Ding Dong, he realizes that the world has a crisis on its hands, one that he intends to rectify once he obtains the proper clearance. FROGWART FISK has escaped from his maximum holding cell and set his diabolical mind on taking advantage of the impending Hostess shortage. With the proper assets, he intends to craft the most marvelous snack cake the world has ever seen, complete with mind-altering nanotechnology baked into it. Might the fall of the mighty snack cake be followed by world governments shortly thereafter? EARNEST BACON would like nothing better than to rid the agency of a certain frog from its ranks. When the opportunity arises to throw him in the slammer and strip any chance of him obtaining a high-level clearance, Earnest jumps all over it. But it's hard to keep a good frog down, particularly this disco-dancing frog... Approximately 12,000 words. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages). WARNING: [i]Hold onto your snack cakes while you can![/i]




Secret Agent Disco Dancer: Grand Slam


Book Description

Includes every story in the My Crazy Pet Frog and Secret Agent Disco Dancer series, ever. BOOKS 1. Green Eggs and a Side of Earnest Bacon 2. Double Agent Orangegrove 3. Was It The Lobster Bisque? 4. The Last Ding Dong on Earth 5. Did Somebody Say Pizza? 6. Frosted Flake 7. Was It The Tira Misu? 8. Burger Blues 9. Burger Blues Side Story 10. You Don't Know Jack 11. Soccer Star 12. I Gave My Pizza A Spanking 13. Santa's Super Helpers 14. The Nightmare Pizza Before Christmas 15. The Zombies Ate My Pizza 16. Taco Tuesday 17. Chicken George 18. Santa Got Run Over by a Burrito 19. My Crazy Pet Frog, A Novelette PREVIEWS 1. Earl of Manwich 2. Burger Blues 2 3. Call Me Crabby 4. Secret Agent Disco Dancer, A Novel 5. Agent -1 INTERVIEWS 1. A Random Bag of Frogs (Fredrico Frillyfoam) 2. A Random Bag of Pigs (Earnest T. Bacon) 3. A Random Bag of Fries (Goldo "Goldy" McLuvin) 4. A Random Bag of Oranges (Double Agent Orangegrove) 5. A Random Bag of Cherries (Cherrywine Divine) 6. A Random Bag of Horse Manure (Special Agent Halfwitz) 7. A Random Bag of Buttz (Major Buttz) 8. A Random Bag of Mistletoe (Santa) Over 1,100 pages in all. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).