The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Outrageous Excuses


Book Description

Every time you mess up, you feel the need to make an excuse. If you're tired of offering the same old tired explanations, take your pick from this encyclopedic collection of hundreds of excuses you've never used before. They're organized into categories like medical emergencies ("I have a chemical imbalance"), weather ("the humidity swelled my door shut"), ancient proverbs ("nothing is inevitable until it happens"), and reasons that make no sense ("I did my own thing and now I have to undo it"). You can even pick the perfect excuse for particular people: boss, spouse, date, or cop. Serious excuse makers will appreciate the psychological interpretations of various responses, to make sure you pick the right one for every situation.




The Fast and The Furious: Drivers, Speed Cameras and Control in a Risk Society


Book Description

The Fast and The Furious: Drivers, Speed Cameras and Control in a Risk Society presents a sociological and criminological perspective critical to understanding the driver's role at the centre of road safety interventions. Such an approach is, it is argued, as crucial to an understanding of attempts to reduce road crashes, deaths and injuries as approaching such questions from an engineering or educational perspective. The book offers an explanation for the continued debate about one road safety intervention - the speed camera - by situating that debate within contemporary literature about the 'risk society' (Beck, 1992) and more broadly understood experiences of risk faced on a daily basis by drivers. Rather than a focus on risk as something that can be objectively assessed, measured and managed separately from the social context in which it is encountered, it suggests that 'risk' is something that permeates this particular debate from every angle. The book achieves its aims by utilising sociological and criminological perspectives to investigate issues such as: - the social context in which it is possible for drivers to reject official scientific expertise about crash causation and camera effectiveness - the self-defined 'respectability' of the population being problematised and its juxtaposition with a 'proper' police focus on 'real criminals' - the reconceptualisation of law-breaking as risk-taking rather than inherently 'wrong' behaviour and its consequences for the enforcement of laws based on risk assessment - the experience of being controlled by technology and of receiving what is essentially 'automated justice'. These and other issues are explored and suggested as illuminating of both the real concerns underpinning this debate and potentially instructive for future attempts to control risky behaviour both within and beyond a road safety context.




Beat the Cops


Book Description

Tells how to avoid and contest moving violations, discusses speed limits, radar, and drunk driving, and describes traffic court procedures.




A Speeder's Guide to Avoiding Tickets


Book Description

Regardless of your record as a driver, everyone speeds sometimes. You are on the open road, no one around for miles, and so you step on the gas pedal. Then you experience a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach -- and in your wallet -- when you see a flashing red light in the rearview mirror. Now you can ease on down the road without paying the high price of traffic tickets, inflated insurance premiums and expensive lawyer's fees. Former New York State Trooper James M. Eagan tells you how-with invaluable tips and trade secrets that the police don't want you to know. What makes a cop "tick" -- and how to use it to your advantage What dates and times are safest to step on the gas and when you are most likely to get caught How to avoid talking yourself into tickets What stories and excuses will often work How to spot an unmarked car Clipping the wings off "The Bear in the Air" And much more! Whether you drive for business or pleasure -- or simply suffer from occasional leadfoot -- you cannot afford to be without this book!




Shite Excuses


Book Description

This little book offers a collection of the strangest and weirdest excuses ever given to employers, spouses, dentists, doctors, teachers - in fact, anybody. Don't just use any old excuse - dare to have fun and be different! Excuses are grouped by category: work, church, dating, traffic, etc.




An Educated Guide to Speeding Tickets


Book Description

A police officer for 14 years in the state of Connecticut, author Richard Wallace II is on expert on the subject of speeding tickets, and the various speed detection devices being currently used by members of law enforcement today. He has been directly involved in the stopping of motarists on speeding related charges, and has issued many citations for said violations over his 14 year career in law enforcement. Who better to know the ins and outs about speeding and how speed is detected, but a police officer! By using this information, one can expect to save hundreds of dollars in fines and insurance charges, as well as keeping ones operator's license. The small price paid for this book will be saved over and over!




When You’re the Only Cop in Town . . .


Book Description

An indispensable guide to facts, procedures, and the how-to's of small town law enforcement from Debra Dixon, author of GMC: Goal, Motivation, and Conflict. Jack Berry has over 30 years in law enforcement, the last 17 as chief in a small town. He also happens to be Debra's dad. Crack the covers of this book and enjoy a writer's feast of the funny, the odd, and the mundane. Find out what you need to know and what it's really like on the mean streets of Smallville, U.S.A. "Don't start your small town crime story without this comprehensive guide!" -- Maggie Shayne, New York Times bestselling author. "Not only a great resource, but a great read. I wish I'd had this book when I started writing. Highly recommended." -- Jenny Crusie, New York Times bestselling author. "An accurate and revealing slice of life about an American small-town cop that includes his mindset and responsibilities. Not just the cop facts--but the job, the character, and the lifestyle. An essential reference for writers of crime and suspense." -- Susan Kearney, USA Today bestselling author.




Cops Are Human Too


Book Description

The author and his immediate family live in Eagle County, Colorado. It is better known to the world as the Vail Valley. Vail's reputation for its natural beauty and outdoor activities all year long is well deserved. It brings people from all over the world to visit or live. As with any town or city, there are some not-so-nice people. There is always a dark underside, and this was what the author dealt with during his thirty-year career in Vail. The author realized early in his career that although the police work was difficult, dangerous, and stressful, it also had a humorous side. This led to the author keeping notes in these humorous situations over the years, which led to the writing of this book.




The Little Book of Big Excuses


Book Description

This indispensable reference guide offers hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations—from missed birthdays to unpaid parking tickets and more! Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's definitely easier with hundreds of excuses for things you did, didn't do, or simply never want to hear about again. The Little Book of Big Excuses is your guide to saving face, avoiding blame, and getting out of almost any unpleasant situation. In “Fake, Don't Flake" you’ll learn how to successfully show up late—or not at all—to any number of places for any number of reasons. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" tells you just the right words to say if you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name (again). Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. And you’ll always have an excuse for not calling, IMing, or emailing with the bonus chapter: “Delivery Subsystem Failure—Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!”.




Consider It Done


Book Description

There’s nothing Julie Subotky can’t get done. After all, as the founder and CEO of a lifestyle management and personal concierge company catering to the crème-de-la-crème of New York, LA, and Aspen, she’s used the fielding her fair share of formidable requests from wealthy and time starved clients. Luckily, now you don’t need to be a rock star, socialite, or millionaire to Consider it Done. In this charming and unique book, she shares her secrets from for accomplishing hundreds of life's most bizarre, off-beat, and yet often inescapable tasks. Ranging from the unusual but useful, to the seemingly impossible, to the annoying but necessary, these include: How to hire a snake dancer for a party within 24 hours notice How to argue your way out of a speeding ticket How to get a last-minute table at an impossibly overbooked restaurant How to find a reputable pet psychic How to get the best seat on an airplane How to blow a date How to fix a hole in the wall How to get a wedding dress shipped halfway across the world How to refuse a dare How to change a tire How to make a citizen's arrest How to mix the perfect hangover cure …and countless more Filled with practical tips, hints and advice as well as hilarious stories of near mishaps, crazy wild goose chases, and outrageous requests from eccentric clients, Consider it Done is sometimes zany, often surprising, and yet always useful. After all, there may come a time when you actually need to know how propose to someone in skywriting, replace a matching spoon from your great-great-great grandmother's antique silver set, or simply make the perfect martini. When that day comes, this essential and completely one-of-a-kind book will be there to walk you through it.