Stupid Alabama


Book Description

So there's this nerdy fifth-grader named Melvin. He lives in Brooklyn, and wants nothing more in life than to go to computer camp. There he can build the ultimate robot to thwart his enemies, do his chores, and make him look cool in front of girls. Instead, he gets his butt kicked by a bully and a guilt trip from his parents. Somehow, after an epic day of defeat, worry, and woe, he agrees to spend the summer in stupid Alabama with his stupid biologist Uncle Petro who works for Auburn University. On the drive, Melvin and Petro pick up a couple of burping alligators from the Bronx Zoo, mistakenly become international terrorists, and somehow survive the fartapocolypse. Petro is attempting to save the Red Hills salamander from extinction and drags Melvin through the culture and wilderness of the deep, dirty South. Melvin decides to forgo his ultimate robot and design a video game from the embarrassing footage he recorded on the journey in an attempt to out-prank his uncle. They get helped along the way by a freakish group of characters, including a horse-dog named Choopy, Melvin's best friend Chucky (AKA DJ Chuck-N-Stuff), and a few other wierdos. All the while, the two are chased by a butt-chinned, New York reporter attempting to ruin their already stupid lives. From gorilla spankings to gator heists, man-eating hound dogs to midnight salamander raids, the uber-snarking Melvin tries to conquer all.Stupid Alabama - A Tale about Growing Up to Discover Not All Things are Stupid but a Lot of Them Are.




Amazing Alabama: a Potpourri of Fascinating Facts, Tall Tales and Storied Stories


Book Description

Amazing Alabama: A Potpourri of Fascinating Facts, Tall Tales and Storied Stories chronicles a brief history of the state, famous personages associated with Alabama, a discussion of state firsts, unique occurrences, antiquated laws and other fascinating topics.




True Romance


Book Description

"A twisted road movie in which Alabama, a hooker, and Clarence, a young comic-book store clerk, fall in love, get married, and hit the road in a purple Cadillac.They are going to L.A. to start a new life - with a suitcase full of cocaine accidentally stolen from Alabama's defunct ex-pimp. Guided by the spirit of Elvis, Clarence attempts to sell the coke to a top Hollywood director, putting himself and Alabama in the middle of a standoff between the narcs and the Sicilian gangsters who rightfully own the cocaine."--Back cover.




The War Against the Assholes


Book Description

Contemporary fantasy meets true crime when schools of ancient sorcery go up against the art of the long con in this stunningly entertaining debut fantasy novel. Mike Wood is satisfied just being a guy with broad shoulders at a decidedly unprestigious Catholic school in Manhattan. But on the dirty streets of New York City he’s an everyman with a moral code who is unafraid of violence. And when Mike is unwittingly recruited into a secret cell of magicians by a fellow student, Mike’s role as a steadfast soldier begins. These magicians don’t use ritualized rote to work their magic, they use willpower in their clandestine war with the establishment: The Assholes.




Don't Do Anything Stupid


Book Description

Do you ever wonder what you can do as a white person to help stop racism? You would love to see people of all races treated with fairness, dignity, and respect. You want to see our society healed of racial problems. Yet at the same time, you cringe at the term “white privilege.” You feel like you’re stuck taking the blame for a lot of things you didn’t do. That’s a mental and spiritual trap. Much of the narrative on race in the US has the effect of silencing white males on the issue of racism, pushing them into a shell of inaction. That has to stop. Racism is evil. It is an issue of spiritual warfare that cannot be conquered by having a secular mindset such as identity politics. In May of 2020, John Covington felt inspired to write a book about racism. He started by posing this question to many of his black friends: If you could snap your fingers and make it happen, what would you want white men to understand about racism? Many of the answers surprised him, and they will likely surprise you too. Don’t Do Anything Stupid addresses some of the things that we need to stop doing as white folks. This book will challenge the way you think about the issue of race relations in America. It will impact the way you view yourself and how you view others. But most importantly, this book will get you moving toward solutions.




Dialect Notes


Book Description







Alabama's Redemption


Book Description

It was good to be white then. The year was 1946. Surviving American soldiers, sailors, and airmen returned victorious from the terror and dangers of WWII. White soldiers found parades in their honor, jobs, eager women, and an adoring country. Black soldiers, who had suffered and performed in the same manner as their white counterparts, came back to a country which still insisted on their subservience. This was especially true in the South, where the god Segregation ruled with an iron hand. Yet Rosa Parks, the Reverend Martin Luther King, the University of Mississippi, and JFK were right around the corner. Into this cauldron comes a young black soldier, a hero of the war, who wants nothing more than the opportunity to buy land, acquire a wife, and raise a family. In a powerful story of faith, character, perseverance, and romance, he faces crushing prejudice, unfair obstacles, and the threat of death. In the end, he meets his greatest enemy and discovers his greatest love.




Tha Poet Speaks


Book Description

Enlighten your mind, open your heart, and feed your spirit and soul with these provocative, highly original spoken word lyrics and poems. Indulge yourself and uplift your being with these deeply inspiring 'Psalms of the Soul', dream of a place where rivers flow from mountains on high with rainforest beauty, and reminisce on adolescent passion and raise the question 'Why do we Fall in Love?' Whether you feel disheartened and are waiting to 'Be Encouraged', or whether you ask questions about yourself when you look 'In the Mirror', you will find that this book has what you need, that special something that contemporary poetry has been missing. So prepare your body, mind, spirit, heart and soul to visualize a time and place where 'murder and homicide only exist in fables', where angels sing to you soothing melodies, where all you need is a little bit of 'Emajinashun' to realize your greatest aspirations. To a place where poetry itself can sustain life Tha Poet Speaks.




"S" Is for Stupid


Book Description

An A-to-Z treasury of dumb, disastrous, and hard-to-believe human behavior from the New York Times-bestselling author of Stupid History! * A doctor’s actual diagnostic notation: The patient is married but sexually active. * “Shooting Reported at Firing Range” —The State, Columbia, South Carolina, August 4, 2006 * Arrested for public urination in Bowling Green, Ohio: Mr. Joshua Pees. —The Sentinel-Tribune, Bowling Green, Ohio, September 5, 2001 From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing and foolish felons, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. This best-of collection features fifty percent new material and fifty percent fan favorites, arranged alphabetically by topic. And because the stories Gregory chronicles are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information, including its verified news source.