› › The Blacker The Robot The Moister The Oyster

The Blacker the Robot the Moister the Oyster

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher :

Page : 98 pages

File Size : 41,41 MB

Release : 2017-02-22

Category :

ISBN : 9781543263169

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Book Description

The riveting saga continues! Holly wakes up in a dirt person motel in the middle of nowhere with her runaway Obamacare Sex Robot, half-naked, sweaty with bliss. The night before she'd taken it to new levels. But now she has serious misgivings. She thought she was doing the right thing by stealing the robot away from her criminally sex-crazed husband Bradley, but now the entire country is after her with pitchforks 'n tazers. The police are after her. The army is after her. The Obamacare Death Panels are after her. Fatass Bethany is after her with her weird, fluffy albino pimp friend. Things really heat up when Holly and her Bama-Bot 2000 take a cool, relaxing swim in a high-risk pool in the woods. Soon the water is boiling around them with pleasure and a love that daresn't speak its name. (I'm talking what happens when bodies start slapping, people.) And then things heat up even hotter than that when the Death Panel Goons surround Holly and her new electronic lover, threatening everything just when she's decided her life is finally back on track. In the waning days of the Obama administration, things are really heating up for young female, woman, girl-conservative Holly McQuerty and her runaway pleasure robot that looks suspiciously like our 44th president, and if she's not careful, she just may get woke something fierce in the process. And that goes for you too, Sissy McSnowflake. Trigger warning: Doppelg�nger fingerbangers.



I Don't Care If My Best Friend's Mom Is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 64 pages

File Size : 17,32 MB

Release : 2014-11-07

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.



Young House Love

Author : Sherry Petersik

Publisher : Artisan

Page : 337 pages

File Size : 17,24 MB

Release : 2015-07-14

Category : House & Home

ISBN : 1579656765

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Book Description

This New York Times bestselling book is filled with hundreds of fun, deceptively simple, budget-friendly ideas for sprucing up your home. With two home renovations under their (tool) belts and millions of hits per month on their blog YoungHouseLove.com, Sherry and John Petersik are home-improvement enthusiasts primed to pass on a slew of projects, tricks, and techniques to do-it-yourselfers of all levels. Packed with 243 tips and ideas—both classic and unexpected—and more than 400 photographs and illustrations, this is a book that readers will return to again and again for the creative projects and easy-to-follow instructions in the relatable voice the Petersiks are known for. Learn to trick out a thrift-store mirror, spice up plain old roller shades, "hack" your Ikea table to create three distinct looks, and so much more.



I Don't Care if My Sasquatch Lover Says the World is Exploding, She's Hot But I Play Bass and There's Nothing Hotter Right Now Than Rap-Rock

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 117 pages

File Size : 47,84 MB

Release : 2015-11-26

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla’s homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn’t keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It’s a hell of a way to travel. But something isn’t right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn’t actually know where she’s going. It’s obvious she’s hiding something from him. And then one fateful night—just as they’re about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree—their lives are forever changed... Because that’s when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can’t he have both? Why is it either Starla’s way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What’s going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead’s new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.



Dark Desires

Author : Lacey Noonan

Publisher : The Dishes Are Done, Man!

Page : 69 pages

File Size : 15,74 MB

Release : 2016-10-24

Category : Fiction

ISBN :

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Book Description

What has the world come to? Like many hardworking Americans, Holly and Brad McQuerty's lives have become living nightmares under President Obama's reign: high taxes, the housing crisis he’d caused thanks to the welfare state, gay weddings, the fiascos in Iraq and Benghazi, ISIS, NAFTA, all that climate change mumbo-jumbo, and worst of all: Obamacare—aka The Affordable Care Act—with its Death Panels, enforced premiums and Sex Robots. That's right: OBAMACARE SEX ROBOTS... Sexy cyborgs made by the government to "help" people in times of "need." But do they really help us, or are they here to tear the fabric of America apart boner by aching boner, nipple by tweaked nipple, butt by savaged butt? Holly and Brad are young conservatives and want no part of this bold new future. But one fateful day, Holly catches her husband getting hot and sweaty with one of the devices and soon their lives are changed forever. In a tizzy, Holly runs away with the robot and is chased by everyone: her husband, the police, shady government officials. There seems to be something else going on too, besides one woman and one Kenyan-American robot, on the lam, discovering their bodies and themselves, satiating their dark desires in SUV's and hotel rooms across Connecticut. Big things are happening—history is happening—a history someone or something doesn't want Holly to find out about. In the waning days of the Obama Administration, events are starting to take a dark turn. How deep does the rabbit hole go? How deep does the sheep hole go? Find out the sheep hole's deepness in this seriously hot, dark and sexy new series of thrillers from author Lacey Noonan: "My Obamacare Nightmare," available in ebook and paperback. Trigger Warning: Doppleganger Fingerbangers



Buyology

Author : Martin Lindstrom

Publisher : Currency

Page : 274 pages

File Size : 12,16 MB

Release : 2010-02-02

Category : Business & Economics

ISBN : 0385523890

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Book Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A fascinating look at how consumers perceive logos, ads, commercials, brands, and products.”—Time How much do we know about why we buy? What truly influences our decisions in today’s message-cluttered world? In Buyology, Martin Lindstrom presents the astonishing findings from his groundbreaking three-year, seven-million-dollar neuromarketing study—a cutting-edge experiment that peered inside the brains of 2,000 volunteers from all around the world as they encountered various ads, logos, commercials, brands, and products. His startling results shatter much of what we have long believed about what captures our interest—and drives us to buy. Among the questions he explores: • Does sex actually sell? • Does subliminal advertising still surround us? • Can “cool” brands trigger our mating instincts? • Can our other senses—smell, touch, and sound—be aroused when we see a product? Buyology is a fascinating and shocking journey into the mind of today's consumer that will captivate anyone who's been seduced—or turned off—by marketers' relentless attempts to win our loyalty, our money, and our minds.



Difficult Loves

Author : Italo Calvino

Publisher : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Page : 304 pages

File Size : 45,94 MB

Release : 1984

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 9780156260558

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Book Description

In a collection of stories written during the 1940s and 1950s, the author captures moments of revelation in the lives of ordinary people, instants blending recognition and alarm as deceptions and illusions are laid bare.



City of Iron and Dust

Author : J.P. Oakes

Publisher : Titan Books (US, CA)

Page : 400 pages

File Size : 13,39 MB

Release : 2021-07-06

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 1789097118

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Book Description

Fast-paced and razor-sharp dark fantasy for readers of Nicholas Eames, Anna Smith Spark and Robert Jackson Bennett "A fantastic book, full of wit and sharp humor, City of Iron and Dust careens through a modernized faerie at a breakneck pace, full of verve and unforgettable characters. Oakes spins a smart, electric, and sometimes snarky tale, showing that the beating heart of modern fantasy is alive and well." – John Hornor Jacobs, author of A Lush and Seething Hell and The Incorruptibles The Iron City is a prison, a maze, an industrial blight. It is the result of a war that saw the goblins grind the fae beneath their collective boot heels. And tonight, it is also a city that churns with life. Tonight, a young fae is trying to make his fortune one drug deal at a time; a goblin princess is searching for a path between her own dreams and others’ expectations; her bodyguard is deciding who to kill first; an artist is hunting for his own voice; an old soldier is starting a new revolution; a young rebel is finding fresh ways to fight; and an old goblin is dreaming of reclaiming her power over them all. Tonight, all their stories are twisting together, wrapped up around a single bag of Dust—the only drug that can still fuel fae magic—and its fate and theirs will change the Iron City forever.



Let's Spend the Night Together

Author : Pamela Des Barres

Publisher : Chicago Review Press

Page : 499 pages

File Size : 14,21 MB

Release : 2008-09

Category : Biography & Autobiography

ISBN : 1556529791

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Book Description

Presents biographies of twenty-four rock groupies in their own words, including Tura Satana, Miss Mercy, Cynthia Plaster Caster, and Miss B.