The Mortdecai Trilogy


Book Description

Charlie Mortdecai is a louche art dealer with some distinctly dubious friends in the London underworld and some great connections to the British upper classes. He features in the three brilliant black-comedy thrillers originally published in the 70s and collected in this volume: DON'T POINT THAT THING AT ME, AFTER YOU WITH THE PISTOL, and SOMETHING NASTY IN THE WOODSHED. 'A writer capable of a rare mixture of wit and imaginative unpleasantness' Julian Barnes




Don't Point That Thing at Me


Book Description

Don't Point That Thing At Me by Kyril Bonfiglioli - Book 1 of the Mortdecai Trilogy, now a major motion picture starring Johnny Depp Introducing the Hon. Charlie Mortdecai, art dealer, aristocrat and assassin, in the first of the Mortdecai novels Portly art dealer and seasoned epicurean Charlie Mortdecai comes into possesion of a stolen Goya, the disappearance of which is causing a diplomatic ruction between Spain and its allies. Not that that matters to Charlie ... until compromising pictures of some British diplomats also come into his possession and start to muddy the waters. All he's trying to do is make a dishonest living, but various governments, secret organizations and an unbelievably nubile young German don't see it that way and pretty soon he's in great need of his thuggish manservant Jock to keep them all at bay ... and the Goya safe. First published in the 1970s, this hilarious novel is part Ian Fleming part P G Wodehouse. It is now a major motion picture starring Johnny Depp as Mortdecai, Ewan McGregor as Jock and Gwyneth Paltrow. 'A rare mixture of wit and imaginative unpleasantness' Julian Barnes 'You couldn't snuggle under the duvet with anything more disreputable and delightful' Stephen Fry 'The jokes are excellent, but the most horrible things keep happening... Funny and chilling' Sunday Telegraph Kyril Bonfiglioli was born on the south coast of England in 1928 of an English mother and Italo-Slovene father. After studying at Oxford and five years in the army, he took up a career as an art dealer, like his eccentric creation Charlie Mortdecai. He lived in Oxford, Lancashire, Ireland and Jersey, where he died in 1985. He wrote four Charlie Mortdecai novels, and a fifth historical Mortdecai novel (about a distinguished ancestor).




After You with the Pistol


Book Description

In the suspenseful and darkly funny sequel to Don’t Point that Thing at Me, married life only compounds the danger facing art dealer Charlie Mortdecai. Art dealer and degenerate aristocrat Charlie Mortdecai has gotten himself into a spot of trouble over a certain stolen Goya. In order to save himself, he must marry the beautiful, sex-crazed and very, very rich Johanna Krampf. The fly in the ointment is that Johanna thinks nothing of involving poor Charlie in her life-threatening schemes such as monarch-assassination, heroin smuggling and - worst of all - survival training at a college for feminist spies. In After You with the Pistol, British author and art dealer Kyril Bonfiglioli continues the exploits of his immortal, amoral art dealer Charlie Mortdecai. Picking up where the previous novel, Don’t Point that Thing at Me, leaves off, this sequel offers twice the twists, quips, and hair-raising schemes.




The Mortdecai ABC


Book Description

The novels of Kyril Bonfiglioli have achieved something like cult status since they were first published in the seventies. Admired by writers as different as Stephen Fry and Julian Barnes, Susan Hill and Craig Brown, they portray an unsettling world where louche characters perform unspeakable deeds while maintaining a life of apparent ease and sophistication.




Something Nasty in the Woodshed


Book Description

As the amoral art dealer heads to the Isle of Jersey, the author’s “comic invention and lacerating, politically incorrect humor are in brilliant form” (Publishers Weekly). The Honorable Charlie Mortdecai—degenerate aristocrat and seasoned epicurean—has managed, somehow, to tarnish his already questionable reputation. Thanks to a few shady art deals, he’s been exiled from London. Together with his gadabout wife Johanna and his ex-con butler Jock, Mortdecai takes refuge in a country estate on the Channel Island of Jersey. But what begins as a hedonistic interlude turns into a macabre manhunt. Through the haze of drunken locals and loathsome tourists, Charlie is out to expose a local rapist whose modus operandi bears a striking resemblance to that of a warlock from ancient British mythology known as “The Beast of Jersey.”




The Great Mortdecai Moustache Mystery


Book Description

The final novel in the classic crime series featuring the amoral aristocrat art dealer—“quite beyond the run-of-the-mill . . . gloriously, infectiously funny” (Guardian, UK). The Hon. Charlie Mortdecai—the elite art dealer, degenerate aristocrat, and reluctant criminal mastermind—is invited to Oxford to investigate the cruel and most definitely unusual death of a don who collided with an omnibus. Though her death appears accidental, one or two things don't add up, including two pairs of thugs who'd been following her just before her death. With the final novel in his cult classic Mortdecai series, Kyril Bonfiglioli brings the escapades of Charlie Mortdecai to a satisfying, head-spinning end. With more spies than you could shoehorn into a stretch limo and the solving of the odd murder along the way, The Great Mortdecai Moustache Mystery is a criminally comic delight.




All the Tea in China


Book Description




Cold Storage


Book Description

"On every level, Cold Storage is pure, unadulterated entertainment." —Douglas Preston, The New York Times Book Review For fans of The Martian, Dark Matter, and Before the Fall comes an astonishing debut thriller by the screenwriter of Jurassic Park: a wild and terrifying bioterrorism adventure about three strangers who must work together to contain a highly contagious, deadly organism that could destroy all of humanity. They thought it was contained. They were wrong. When Pentagon bioterror operative Roberto Diaz was sent to investigate a suspected biochemical attack, he found something far worse: a highly mutative organism capable of extinction-level destruction. He contained it and buried it in cold storage deep beneath a little-used military repository. Now, after decades of festering in a forgotten sub-basement, the specimen has found its way out and is on a lethal feeding frenzy. Only Diaz knows how to stop it. He races across the country to help two unwitting security guards—one an ex-con, the other a single mother. Over one harrowing night, the unlikely trio must figure out how to quarantine this horror again. All they have is luck, fearlessness, and a mordant sense of humor. Will that be enough to save all of humanity?




Teardrop


Book Description

An epic saga of heart-stopping romance, devastating secrets, and dark magic . . . a world where everything you love can be washed away. The first book in the new series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Fallen series Never, ever cry. . . . Eureka Boudreaux's mother drilled that rule into her daughter years ago. But now her mother is gone, and everywhere Eureka goes he is there: Ander, the tall, pale blond boy who seems to know things he shouldn't, who tells Eureka she is in grave danger, who comes closer to making her cry than anyone has before. But Ander doesn't know Eureka's darkest secret: ever since her mother drowned in a freak accident, Eureka wishes she were dead, too. She has little left that she cares about, just her oldest friend, Brooks, and a strange inheritance—a locket, a letter, a mysterious stone, and an ancient book no one understands. The book contains a haunting tale about a girl who got her heart broken and cried an entire continent into the sea. Eureka is about to discover that the ancient tale is more than a story, that Ander might be telling the truth . . . and that her life has far darker undercurrents than she ever imagined.




Scoundrels


Book Description