I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962 and Other Nekkid Truths


Book Description

"Imagine Andy Rooney with a Georgia accent...and a sense of humor." THE HOUSTON POST Lewis Grizzard remembers 1962. But a lot's happened since then, and he's in the mood to discuss it all, in the inimitable style that's made him the most popular social commentator to tickle people AND tick them off. From being PC to watching MTV, from rednecks to black militants, from singing the praises of the South to sounding off on the problems of just about everywhere else, nothing and nobody escapes when Grizzard shoots from the lip...and hits the "nekkid" truth every time.




Guarangoddamnteeya!


Book Description

He's back -- L. D. Brodsky's working stiff from St. Louis, with his Bud Light-hued worldview and his uniquely foul-mouthed, malapropistic takes on modern life and his own tenuous place in it. This volume, the title of which is our unlikely hero's trademark interjection, brings together his narrations from seven of Brodsky's short-fiction books, in which he made spot appearances. Together, these episodes in the hilarious chronicle of a true American "rough" prove Brodsky's uncanny ability to satirize both the best and the worst of American culture. You will never again experience anything like Guarangoddamnteeya! -- guarangoddamnteeya!




This Here's A Merica


Book Description

With This Here's a Merica, L. D. Brodsky reprises his auto-factory-assembly-line worker from south St. Louis, first introduced in Yellow Bricks and Catchin' the Drift o' the Draft. In one of the six pieces that bind the collection, this lovable redneck, who takes the English language all the way back to its murky origins, hosts a "Stupor Bowl Tailgate Key Party," in which he and his three buddies know the score of the game even before it starts and what trophies they'll win: the house keys and wives they swap for the night. We also join him on his extended "lunch break" from the car plant to a "sportin' bar" on the East Side, where Julie No-Name, between performances, indulges him in an "afternoon delight." Other characters jump from the pages as well, including a Vietnam vet, now a doorman, who finds himself transported back to the war whenever it rains, shooting wildly at passing cars with his umbrella as he escorts residents to and from their apartment building. In a postmodern examination of the writing process itself, Brodsky chronicles the rise of another intriguing individual -- a sous-chef who begins his career at a fowl facility, rendering chicken parts into words, and eventually becomes the toast of Manhattan for transforming gizzards into Petrarchan sonnets, necks into short stories. These unique protagonists, and the others in this volume's forty-two fast-paced fictions, lead the reader through a house of mirrors in which everyday reality is twisted in ways magically satirical and absurdly surreal. Their distorted reflections, which become strikingly familiar to us as we recognize our own afflictions and foibles in them, hover in the subconscious long after This Here's a Merica is closed.




Nine Kinds of Naked


Book Description

“Part quirky love story, part philosophical manifesto, and part metaphysical mystery . . . right at home with the works of Tom Robbins and Christopher Moore” (Sacramento Book Review). A prisoner spins a playing card into a somersault, stirring a whirlwind that becomes a tornado that takes the roof off a church in nearby Normal, Illinois. Elizabeth Wildhack is born in that church and someday she will meet that prisoner, a man named Diablo, on the streets of New Orleans—where a hurricane-like Great White Spot hovers off the coast. But how is it all interconnected? And what does it have to do with a time-traveling serf and a secret society whose motto is “Walk away”? This surreal novel exploring chaos theory comes from the acclaimed author of the cult favorites Just a Couple of Days and Love and Other Pranks. “As fanciful and inventive in its form . . . as it is in its observations. It fed tasty crackers to all the hungry parrots in my mental aviary.” —Tom Robbins “Linguistic gymnastics abound . . . Vigorito demonstrates once again that he’s a wild stylist . . . startlingly original . . . an entertaining anarchist.” —Chicago Sun-Times “A whimsical tale of time, space, coincidence, and cause and effect. The author displays most of the linguistic acrobatics and playful rumination that made his debut a cult classic . . . In the tradition of Douglas Adams and Tom Robbins.” —Kirkus Reviews




This Is The Truth, As Far As I Know


Book Description

No matter your age or where you live, you'll find yourself rolling on the floor in hysterics at this hilariously funny look at life in the South, life in the military, and life of a southerner living in Germany. Go to the Bubba Fest in South Carolina, learn about the wurst of all wieners, and do the Doggy Dance of Joy. Find out if you have vacaphobia, how to tell if you're nekkid, and lessons on marriage from your dog and helicopters. You'll be "busier than a mosquito in a nudist colony" reading short stories such as "Armadillo and Red Wine," "Eat Crackers and Whistle Your National Anthem," "My dog is From the Planet Uranus," and "Hoodoo, Doorknobs, and Automobiles." The author, Jan Hornung, is an awarding winning humor columnist and author of "If A Frog Had Wings ... Helicopter Tales."




The Nekkid Truth


Book Description

A sizzling e-novella from erotica author Nicole Camden! In this sexy erotic novella from Nicole Camden, crime scene photographer Debbie Valley loses the ability to recognize faces and must instead identify people by their bodies. Soon she finds that the wonders of Detective Marshall Scott's body never cease...and that he needs her to help catch a dangerous killer. The Nekkid Truth also features an exclusive excerpt from Nicole Camden’s erotica e-serial, The Fetish Queen.




Get a Life That Doesn't Suck


Book Description

Life can really suck. But it doesn't have to. With the help of esteemed consultant and coach Michelle DeAngelis, life can really rock. DeAngelis serves up a combination of street-smart wisdom and cheerful irreverence as she shows readers how to enjoy the "ride of their lives," regardless of the roadblocks or potholes along the way. By providing the specific mechanics to joy, DeAngelis shows that joy is a repeatable by-product of living one's life in integrity and of making conscious choices every day that kick misery, worry, and guilt to the curb. She explains how most people are not naturally equipped to deal with life's challenges and then introduces foundational tools and effective techniques to take readers from crappy to happy. She starts with a Joy Quotient Quiz that gives readers their "JQ" score and identifies their "Gap"--the measurable difference between what people think and what they do--which is where life sucks. She then teaches a four-step, fast-acting process that provides "suck relief" to solve everyday problems. The centerpiece of the work is DeAngelis's 10 Life-Changing Ahas. From the title to the very last line, Get a Life That Doesn't Suck is not your everyday self-help book. Through humor and real-life examples, DeAngelis explains how readers can reduce their stress, improve their outlook, and get rid of whatever is holding them back. She provides the formula for readers to make joy real and accessible so that the journey from "life sucks" to "life rocks" is worth the trip.




Negro Digest


Book Description




Mountains of the Misbegotten


Book Description

In the sequel to Red Jacket, former Rough Rider turned Michigan game warden Lute Bapcat sets out to find a deputy warden who has disappeared from Ontonagon County, one of the Michigan Upper Peninsula’s most lawless places. Merely hours into his search, Bapcat is shot by assailants unknown. After a miraculous rescue and recovery aided by mysterious caretakers, Bapcat uncovers a plan by powerful locals to capture and sell bears to zoos around the country, an act akin to theft in Bapcat’s mind. The game warden’s determination to break the scheme ratchets up when it seems his missing colleague may have authored the idea and employed the help of an outlaw called Red Hair, who had been raised in the same orphanage with Bapcat. Red Hair’s gang of thugs have long terrorized the region. Bapcat must use all of his woodcraft to brave the Trap Hills and Porcupine Mountains to face the criminals at the old Nonesuch Mine. Zakov the Russian—Bapcat’s eccentric game warden partner—is brought in to help with the hunt, which causes Bapcat to reevaluate his personal values. In classic Heywood style, an extraordinary band of Upper Peninsula characters collects around intrepid woods cops.




Uncle John's Presents Book of the Dumb


Book Description

As a celebration of dimwits, lunkheads, bad ideas, and just plain wrongheaded foolishness, dive into the shallow end with Uncle John’s Presents: Book of the Dumb. In every field of human endeavor, there are people, things, and ideas that rank among the best mankind has ever produced—the Book of the Dumb isn't about any of that. This volume from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader teaches us one valuable lesson: never underestimate the power of human stupidity. In these pages, you'll find some of the worst ideas, most regrettable utterances, and biggest crackpot theories in the fields of art, science, politics, sports, entertainment, and more. Uncle John rules the world of humor and all things ridiculous, so get ready to be thoroughly entertained. Read all about… Crashes…on Mars Vegetable-flavored Jell-O Land wars fought during the winter…in Russia And much more!