The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Book Description

Comedian and TV star, Tim Vine, will have you laughing for hours with this new, abridged version of his hilarious joke book . . . Velcro. What a rip off. Why do you never see an elephant on a bus? Because he's got a massive bum. So I went to the doctors. I said, 'I got hurt in a pillow fight.' He said, 'You've got concushion.' Believe it or not there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people I tried to surf the Internet and I fell off my chair Read it to find these funny puns, plus many more original jokes and illustrations. You won't be able to put it down!




The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Book Description

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.







Hysterical History


Book Description

Can history be funny? With this entertaining joke book it sure can be. This hilarious volume is brimming with jokes about the past that will have readers laughing with glee. Each silly joke will amuse readers of many ages and may also help some become more interested in history. An easy-to-follow layout and hysterical illustrations will draw in even reluctant readers. These high-interest, age-appropriate jokes are an excellent way to get young learners interested in reading.




The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness


Book Description

Comedian and TV star Tim Vine delivers a jam-packed, laugh-a-minute assortment of hilarious silliness. Welcome to THE TIM VINE BUMPER BOOK OF SILLINESS. Put your 3D glasses on now. And then remove them because they won't make any difference. This is a bit like an annual. Annual love it. It's filled with silly jokes, daft quizzes, zany pictures and other silly stuff too. We live in a very serious world but now and again it's good to forget about that and say things like 'lozenge waffle' or 'giraffe sprocket'. Ideally to a stranger.




The Mammoth Book of One-Liners


Book Description

A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'




Gagged and Bound


Book Description

Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.




The Best Joke Book (Period)


Book Description

Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!




The Unexplained Intellect


Book Description

The relationship between intelligent systems and their environment is at the forefront of research in cognitive science. The Unexplained Intellect: Complexity, Time, and the Metaphysics of Embodied Thought shows how computational complexity theory and analytic metaphysics can together illuminate long-standing questions about the importance of that relationship. It argues that the most basic facts about a mind cannot just be facts about mental states, but must include facts about the dynamic, interactive mental occurrences that take place when a creature encounters its environment. In a discussion that is organised into four clear parts, Christopher Mole begins by examining the mathematics of computational complexity, arguing that the results from complexity theory create a puzzle about how human intelligence could possibly be explained. Mole then uses the tools of analytic metaphysics to draw a distinction between mental states and dynamic mental entities, and shows that, in order to answer the complexity-theoretic puzzle, dynamic entities must be understood to be among the most basic of mental phenomena. The picture of the mind that emerges has important implications for our understanding of intelligence, of action, and of the mind’s relationship to the passage of time. The Unexplained Intellect is the first book to bring insights from the mathematics of computational complexity to bear in an enquiry into the metaphysics of the mind. It will be essential reading for scholars and researchers in the philosophy of mind and psychology, for cognitive scientists, and for those interested in the philosophical importance of complexity.




26.2 Miles to Happiness


Book Description

***WINNER OF THE TELEGRAPH SPORTS BOOK AWARDS 2021 – SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT BOOK OF THE YEAR*** 'Utterly joyous!' - Bryony Gordon 'The best book about running I have read' – Nick Cohen, The Critic 'The funniest book about running I have ever read. In fact it is the only book about running I have ever read, but it is HILARIOUS!' - David Walliams '...insightful, inspiring and laugh-out-loud funny!' - Michael McIntyre 'Pain. Hope. Misery. Joy. All the big stuff. Excellent.' - Dara Ó Briain 'This book is funny (which I expected) and concerns running (ditto), but it is also exceptionally moving and profound. Don't be fooled: it's not really about completing a marathon. It's about life and all its joy and weirdness. Recommended to all...' - Miranda Sawyer 'Very good book... very funny, very insightful, very inspiring' - Chris Evans, Virgin Radio 'Fabulous book' - Radio 2 The hilarious trials and tribulations of stand-up comedian Paul Tonkinson as he attempts to beat the much lauded 3-hour mark at the London Marathon. With a supporting cast of fellow comedians, this is a warmly written and wonderfully honest adventure-through-sport that will both entertain and inspire. Along the way, we are introduced to the characters helping Paul with his quest. Celebrity names such as Bryony Gordon, Russell Howard, Roisin Conaty and Vassos Alexander pop up with wit and wisdom, alongside an alpine adventure to the Mayr Clinic with Michael McIntyre that pushes Paul to the limit. And not forgetting the 'words of wisdom' and derision from Paul's anti-running friend, Richard.