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The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own!

Author : Jean Teasdale

Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin

Page : 266 pages

File Size : 27,56 MB

Release : 2010-10-12

Category : Humor

ISBN : 1429951826

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Book Description

A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!



The Onion Girl

Author : Charles de Lint

Publisher : Macmillan

Page : 512 pages

File Size : 14,2 MB

Release : 2002-08-03

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 9780765303813

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Book Description

Charles de Lint's stunning new novel of magic and danger in the modern world.



Onion John

Author : Joseph Krumgold

Publisher : Harper Collins

Page : 260 pages

File Size : 16,95 MB

Release : 1984-04-04

Category : Juvenile Fiction

ISBN : 0064401448

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Book Description

The story of a friendship between a 12-year-old boy and an immigrant handyman, almost wrecked by the good intentions of the townspeople.



The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry

Author : Kathleen Flinn

Publisher : Penguin

Page : 308 pages

File Size : 24,5 MB

Release : 2008-09-02

Category : Biography & Autobiography

ISBN : 9780143114130

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Book Description

"...engaging, intelligent, and surprisingly suspenseful." —Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love The unforgettable New York Times best-selling journey of self-discovery and finding one's true calling in life Kathleen Flinn was a thirty-six-year-old middle manager trapped on the corporate ladder - until her boss eliminated her job. Instead of sulking, she took the opportunity to check out of the rat race for good - cashing in her savings, moving to Paris, and landing a spot at the venerable Le Cordon Blue cooking school. The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry is the funny and inspiring account of her struggle in a stew of hot-tempered, chefs, competitive classmates, her own "wretchedly inadequate" French - and how she mastered the basics of French cuisine. Filled with rich, sensual details of her time in the kitchen - the ingredients, cooking techniques, wine, and more than two dozen recipes - and the vibrant sights and sounds of the markets, shops, and avenues of Paris, it is also a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and, ultimately, love.



Anatole

Author : Eve Titus

Publisher : Knopf Books for Young Readers

Page : 34 pages

File Size : 12,11 MB

Release : 2006-11-14

Category : Juvenile Fiction

ISBN : 0375839011

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Book Description

Anatole is a most honorable mouse. When he realizes that humans are upset by mice sampling their leftovers, he is shocked! He must provide for his beloved family--but he is determined to find a way to earn his supper. And so he heads for the tasting room at the Duvall Cheese Factory. On each cheese, he leaves a small note--"good," "not so good," "needs orange peel"--and signs his name. When workers at the Duvall factory find his notes in the morning, they are perplexed--but they realize that this mysterious Anatole has an exceptional palate and take his advice. Soon Duvall is making the best cheese in all of Paris! They would like to give Anatole a reward--if only they could find him...



The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

Author : The Onion

Publisher : Little, Brown

Page : 259 pages

File Size : 44,50 MB

Release : 2012-10-23

Category : Humor

ISBN : 031613323X

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Book Description

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.



Thoughts Without A Thinker

Author : Mark Epstein

Publisher : Basic Books

Page : 178 pages

File Size : 24,47 MB

Release : 2013-07-30

Category : Psychology

ISBN : 0465063926

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Book Description

Blending the lessons of psychotherapy with Buddhist teachings, Mark Epstein offers a revolutionary understanding of what constitutes a healthy emotional life The line between psychology and spirituality has blurred, as clinicians, their patients, and religious seekers explore new perspectives on the self. A landmark contribution to the field of psychoanalysis, Thoughts Without a Thinker describes the unique psychological contributions offered by the teachings of Buddhism. Drawing upon his own experiences as a psychotherapist and meditator, New York-based psychiatrist Mark Epstein lays out the path to meditation-inspired healing, and offers a revolutionary new understanding of what constitutes a healthy emotional life.



Who Asked You?

Author : Terry McMillan

Publisher : Penguin

Page : 466 pages

File Size : 14,76 MB

Release : 2015-08-04

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 0451417038

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Book Description

Trinetta drops off her two young boys with her mother, Betty Jean - and then pulls a disappearing act. BJ is a sassy, pull-no-punches, trademark McMillan matriarch, and she already has her hands full picking up the slack for her other kids, coaching her best friend Tammy through her own tribulations and dealing with two feuding sisters, all while holding down a job as a hotel maid. Who Asked You? raises questions about how we care for one another and how we set limits for those we love when the demands are too great.



The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook

Author : Natalie Eve Garrett

Publisher : powerHouse Books

Page : 0 pages

File Size : 36,66 MB

Release : 2016-10-11

Category : Cooking

ISBN : 9781576877883

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Book Description

The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook is a collection of personal, food-related stories with recipes from 76 contemporary artists and writers. Inspired by a book from 1961, The (original) Artists' & Writers' Cookbook included recipes from the likes of Marcel Duchamp, Man Ray, Marianne Moore, and Harper Lee. This new, vibrantly illustrated version includes stories and recipes from Anthony Doerr, Leanne Shapton, Joyce Carol Oates, John Currin and Rachel Feinstein, Ed Ruscha, Neil Gaiman, Edwidge Danticat, Aimee Bender, Gregory Crewdson, James Franco, Francesca Lia Block, Swoon, Nelson DeMille, Rick Moody and Laurel Nakadate, Nikki Giovanni, T.C. Boyle, Lev Grossman, Roz Chast, Heidi Julavits, Marina Abramović, Curtis Sittenfeld, Julia Alvarez, and many others. In The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook,Anthony Doerr lures us out into the wild to find huckleberries andhappiness. Neil Gaiman makes a perfectly eerie cheese omelet while Ed Ruschaassociates his cactus omelet with "a time of doom." Yiyun Li eats rations inBeijing while Edwidge Danticat prepares a soup to celebrate freedom. NelsonDeMille reminisces about a meal he ate 40 years ago when serving in Vietnam;Kamrooz Aram recalls childhood "picnics" in his basement in Tehran during airraids. Sanford Biggers updates a soul food classic-"something tasty to lessenthe bitter taste of consistent, systematic oppression." Paul Muldoon and AimeeBender conjure food-related apocalyptic visions. Marina Abramović shares adish best consumed on top of a volcano, Elissa Schappell dreams of playing SergeGainsbourg records to snails, and Padgett Powell tastes a dish that reverses timeand space. Daniel Wallace woos with an eggplant sandwich. Francesca Lia Blocktells us how to fall in love. The essays are at turns comedic and heart-wrenching, personal and apocalyptic, with recipes that are enchanting to read and recreate. One part cookbook and one part intimate self-portrait, The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook is a portal into the kitchens and personal lives of an unmatched collection of contemporary artists and writers.



Betrayals

Author : Carla Neggers

Publisher : MIRA

Page : 394 pages

File Size : 15,52 MB

Release : 2009-03-01

Category : Fiction

ISBN : 1426829337

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Book Description

Rebecca Blackburn caught a glimpse of the famed Jupiter Stones as a small child. Unaware of their significance, she forgot about them—until she discovered the priceless, long-missing gems were the key to a deadly chain of events spanning thirty years and three continents…sparing no one. When a seemingly innocent photograph reignites one man's simmering desire for vengeance, Rebecca turns to Jared Sloan, the love she lost to tragedy and scandal. His own life has changed forever because of the secrets buried deep by their two families. Their relentless quest for the truth will dredge up bitter memories and shocking revelations of misplaced loyalty, dangerous pride and naked ambition…and they will stop at nothing to expose a cold-blooded killer.